"Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. (Mark Twain)

It might wake you up just a bit quicker than normal - especially before the day's first cuppa java - to find your obituary luridly splashed across the front page of your newspaper. It's unlikely that you'd murmur, "Oh, darn, somebody murdered me!" and then stir more sweetener into your coffee. It's unlikely that you'd do anything at all except make a concerted grab for the phone and call 1) your mom and 2) the police. Unlikely, I guess, unless you're a character in Lisa Scottoline's latest, Courting Trouble - then you'd merely make a mental note to get the front entry hall at your apartment repainted to cover the blood. That's about as excited as beauteous young lawyer Anne Murphy seemed to get. True, Murphy hadn't talked to Mom in years; didn't even know where Mom was, in fact. Her excuse for not calling the cops was a tad more far-fetched: seems she knew who had blown her away - or more accurately, her cat-sitter - and wanted him to keep thinking she was dead.

Confused? It gets worse.


Death by Misidentification

Murphy revealed her living self to her boss, Philly attorney Bennie Rosato (founder of the all-woman law firm, Rosato and Associates) and the co-workers with whom she'd never quite connected in her year at the company. Seems she'd been stalked in California before fleeing to the east coast, and Kevin Satorno - her "admirer" - had just escaped from prison. Rosato and Associates agree to keep her survival under wraps. After all, the real dead woman was an introverted, friendless orphan; so who cared, right? Not only did the four women conceal Murphy's continued status among the living from les flics, they also attempted to investigate and track down Satorno on their own. Their antics include setting a trap at a fake memorial service, and three of them dressing as a team of star-spangled hookers to infiltrate the No-Tell Motel where Satorno might be hiding. Their biggest problem, though, was that Anne wanted to wrap everything up in three days, since she insisted on a resurrection in time to argue her first big case on the first court day of the following week.

Even while dodging in and out of gay bars, changing in and out of an array of Uncle Sam disguises, and doing her own version of "I'm going to Disneyland!" Murphy still found time to research her case, make friends with her co-workers, and fend off an unending series of lecherous leers. Not only did she get all this done, but she also took this opportunity to do the nasty with opposing counsel in her pending court case (is the Pennsylvania Bar listening?). Mental note - Stuporwoman, thy name is Murphy!


Loopy Lawyers

Not since Janet Evanovich penned One for the Money and introduced oversexed, underqualified bounty hunter Stephanie Plum has anyone put such concentrated ditz on paper. Murphy's living (literary) proof that owning a J. D. doesn't necessarily mean you're smart - in fact, this character has the common sense of a cabbage. And so, apparently, do the other three members of the law firm! Here's a gaggle of (supposedly) intelligent, educated women who could set the women's movement back a couple of decades - except that, by dumb luck or blind chance, the bunch of them get the job done, at least sort of. Mental note - next time, go to the police in the first place; it'll get done right - or at least quicker!

Scottoline's written a series of Bennie Rosato novels (this is the fourth), leavened with a wry sense of humor and a better-than-average eye for detail. Her characters, admittedly unidimensional, usually have their one dimension fleshed out well, much like caricatures: the eternal Catholic school girl, the eternal tomboy, the eternal liberal. Scottoline's male characters are your basic stereotypes as well, including a flock of breast-ogling letches, the dreamboat SNAG, some chain-smoking overweight cops, and an evil stalker. Murphy adds a new dimension to Rosato and Associate's office: they needed a gorgeous, leggy redhead, after all. And Anne's not only model-pretty, she also adores expensive clothing (Scottoline's first-page description of her drops at least three well-known brand names) and lots of makeup. Her biggest problem, again, seems to be a lack of sense. Oh, and maybe she's a bit short on impulse control. Mental note - boinking opposing counsel? Shades of "L. A. Law"!


The Scottoline Skinny

Scottoline's started with an interesting premise and cause, as well - witness her choice words regarding the uselessness of restraining orders for deterring stalkers. But she dropped the ball by not making Murphy as smart as she is beautiful, or, better yet, smart without being gorgeous. Instead of relying on her wits, Murphy gets out of the mess through sheer luck most of the time, even while making stupid choice after bad decision. This one's a pure idiot plot. For lightweight reading with a little bit of sexy fun, go ahead. But if you don't like having your intelligence insulted one time too many, follow the oft-repeated (too oft-repeated) advice in the book: make a mental note to skip this one!


Recommended: No