OK, I finally admit it. I'm in my late twenties, and I have never, not even once, gone out on a date. Not even in high school, certainly not in college. And I'm finally ready to do something about it. Seeing a good portion of my friends get attached was the main motivation behind this sudden interest.

But with all the talk you hear about women not understanding men and vice versa, if you're like me (inexperienced but willing to learn), you'd want a straightforward manual that tells you the basics about what to do, how to do it, what to do when disaster strikes, and so on. I've found this straightforward manual in Dating For Dummies.

Written by psychologist and popular radio talk-show host Dr. Joy Browne, Dating For Dummies is a comprehensive guide to all the steps in the dating process. From building your self-esteem, to places to find potential dates, to the actual request, it covers all that and takes you to the meat of the book, the actual date. It then covers all the preparations (external and internal), and gives clear advice on what to do in every possible scenario (you both like each other, you both hate each other, or one likes-one hates).

From there, it goes on to the second date and beyond, as well as advice for special situations (large age differences, same-sex relationships, etc.). It even covers the difficult issue of breaking up and how to do it with a minimum of bloodshed. If there was ever a more complete book than this one, I have yet to find it.

The style of the book is very lively, and the writing very conversational. At times she sounds like your mother giving you advice, and at other times she sounds like a coach giving you a pep talk (which is what a lot of people who have trouble meeting people need, when you think about it). But throughout the book she injects a healthy dose of humor and funny experiences and anecdotes. Some excerpts:

Adam and Eve were the original blind date (and we know who fixed them up). It's been a lot rockier ever since...Today, not only do we get to pick who we want to marry (at least in this country), but we get to audition them, which brings us to dating.

First date magic...flowers and chocolates, pin-striped suits and off-the-shoulder dresses, cologne, waxed legs, champagne, linen tablecloths, romantic music, candlelight, violins, laughter over lobster...AAARGH! If this is how you envision a first date, add "disappointment," "ulcers," and "financial ruin" to your list, because you're setting yourself up for disaster. The ideal first date should let you get to know the other person and let the other person get to know you, without doing irreparable damage to your nervous system--or bank account or stomach lining--in the process.

Her advice is very practical, immediately useful, with a healthy portion of common sense. To the seasoned veteran, the advice that she gives may seem to be expounding on the obvious, but then again this book is directed squarely at the wallflowers among us.

As an example, her opinion about sex and dating is fairly conservative (basically, definitely not on the first date, or the second, not until you've really gotten to know each other and have frankly discussed it). She re-iterates it several times in the course of the book, and really drives the point home. But she backs up her point very well, and as a result it comes across more as common sense rather than the moralistic gobbledegook of her major competitor on the airwaves. In the book she writes to both audiences (men and women) and flags gender-specific information so that it's easy to zero in on that info (or skip it as the case may be).

If nothing else, this book is a great self-esteem builder, and will remind you that, no, you are not a leper. I've given this book to other single friends of mine, and just recently I finally worked up the courage to ask a former co-worker of mine out to a movie. How useful the rest of the info is remains to be seen, but one thing is for certain: this book will be my roadmap in the scary territory of dating.



Recommended: Yes