Pros: Will grind beans in an emergency, say, as when you're under a vampire attack.
Cons: The noise it makes will wake the dead resulting in said vampire attack.
In the Quentin Tarantino screenplay “From Dusk till Dawn” the Fuller family joins forces with two bank robbers in an attempt to survive a night in a joint whose employees just happen to be blood-sucking vampires. No, the joint is not a tele-marketing, east coast stock brokerage house but a desolate strip club. Both may be under the same management, however. As with all vampire movies, the objective for the non-vampires is to make it to dawn without perforated necks. However, in this particular movie, not all the non-vampires are the “good guys.” Of course, the movie is totally unrealistic and not just because actual vampires are never as hot as Salma Hayek but the survivors make it through the night without coffee. I mean, if I was fighting the undead creatures of the night, I’d fashion a decent weapon more potent than a squirt gun filled with holy water and I’d find my way to some decent java. And not necessarily in that order. Unfortunately, given druthers, I wouldn’t choose the DeLonghi model DCG4T Electric Burr Grinder for either.
While hemoglobin might be the obsession of the formidable monsters in the movie, a vampire standing between me and my morning cup wouldn’t have a chance. Thankfully, I don’t have to kill for my caffeine. But I’m not saying I wouldn’t if I that’s what it would take either. Admittedly, coffee is my vice but my Delonghi grinder is my vice versa.
How important is a coffee bean grinder?
If you buy your coffee already ground and consider it “good enough”, please leave this review now. Seriously. You are merely one who drinks coffee. You are not a coffee drinker. If you don’t know the difference, it’s because you buy your coffee already ground and consider it “good enough.” Goodbye. Folgers needs love too. Thanks for visiting. Now for those who are still with me: The coffee grind must be consistent. The particles must have a consistent volume and size. Otherwise, the yield is overly bitter, shallow, and thin. A consistent grind is only possible with a burr grinder that chops the beans precisely and quickly. Most consumer coffee grinders don’t have the mechanical innards to allow this. The worst offenders are the whirring blade grinders. The result of these abominations is a mixture of large to fine, dust-like particles. It doesn’t “all average out.” When water passes through them either from gravity drip machines or under high-pressure espresso machines, the finer particles release their bitter components readily while the larger particles don’t provide an optimal yield. On the other hand, same sized particles are allowed to provide a maximum yield with the proper flavor and body components released optimally. The grinder is every bit as important as the coffee maker, the coffee, and the water.
What the DeLonghi Burr Grinder is
Firstly, it’s suspiciously inexpensive. When my access to a professional grinder was suddenly denied, I was desperate. I should have suspected they’d change the lock on the back door of the coffee shop down the street. The so-called DeLonghi “Burr Grinder” at the store was going for less than $40 when I know a decent grinder starts at $150.
The product is not much larger than a blade grinder. Users load a few cups of beans into a hopper, twist the entire hopper to achieve a grind type indicated on the body of the grinder, set a timer dial and the machine starts grinding with a cacophonic fury. The grounds fall into a detachable bin. It’s a simple if noisy process.
Unfortunately, the grind is a sad mess of variously sized particles – from coarse bits to powdery dust -- regardless of the grind type set. The result is hardly better than a whirring blade grinder. Therefore, coffee made with the grounds suffer.
To make things worse, the entire works including the hopper, the body and removeable bin are plastic. The natural result of particles moving around in an enclosed create a static charge that tenaciously attracts the dust-like grind to the bin. Then, after some grind is removed, the static charge reverses forcing the dust outwards and scattering it everywhere. The problem is most experienced on cold, dry mornings – when you tend to make coffee. Clean up is a chore. The obvious design fix is to make the parts out of metal and electrically ground (not coffee ground) the whole machine. But that wouldn’t make the coffee any better however. So forget I mentioned that. It’s the engineer in me coming out. And I’m not an engineer.
Obviously, don’t buy the DeLonghi grinder. If you want coffee (or any coffee drink) done right, commit to a decent grinder. As I mentioned, the good ones start at $150. You can pay up to $1500 for a pro-level grinder and I’m not talking about the expensive ones used in better coffee shops. No use spending good money on a machine and coffee when the grinder is massacring your beans. Speaking of massacre, my other recommendation is to rent “From Dusk till Dawn” if only to watch Santanico Pandemonium’s performance and a probably unauthorized use of a pneumatic drill. Granted, it’s not as good as a good cup of joe but, then, what is?