Part 2 of the Mighty Adventures of Bob.

Bob came home from work early one Friday. It was a joy to leave the prosaic office for the comfort of his home. As he opened the back door, he noticed that it drug a little on the floor. He would have to fix the door and had better to do it today. Bob made his way to the utility closet to get his tools.

On the way he passed his T-Fal Ultraglide iron. He stopped. Bob looked at the iron for a moment and then looked around to make sure no one else could see him. He reached out and gave the iron a big bear hug, whispering to it, “I love you.” He quickly put the iron away, stroked its handle and continued to the closet.

Opening the closet, Bob stepped back and admired his collection of tools. What power. What strength. What impressive raw building capability in one closet. And it was all his! He reached for the drill. It was the stunning yellow drill in the black heavy duty kit box. He adored the banana yellow color of his DeWalt 14.4 Volt Drill Kit.

He unpacked the case, pulled out the two 14.4 volt batteries, the one hour charger, the drill, and the screwdriver drill bit. Bob picked up the 4.5 pound drill and snapped in the battery.

He depressed the trigger. The drill’s motor roared to life and was quickly spinning at about 1,400 RPMs. Bob let out a deep grunt. It was his animal instincts taking over. That much power in one’s hands could drive any man wild.

He twisted the keyless chuck and slipped in the screwdriver bit. What ease it slid in. What speed it would be to change bits with this keyless chuck. Bob marveled at the inspired engineering behind the keyless chuck. And there on the head of the drill was the adjustable clutch. He could manipulate this drill with great expertise. He was the master of this beautiful yellow drill. He was in command.

He marched to the back door with his chest stuck out and his shoulders way back, humming the Battle Hymn of the Republic. He placed the head of the screwdriver bit onto the head of the lose screw in the hinge. Lowering his safety goggles, he pulled the trigger with a massive grunt.

The DeWalt 14.4 Volt Drill’s all metal planetary gears roared into action delivering 350 inch-pounds of torque onto the screw. Now, Bob had no idea what 350 inch-pounds of torque meant, but it was the kind of phrase he loved to repeat in bars. It was the kind of phrase you had to repeat in the barber shop and it was the kind of phrase that if delivered at just the right moment, could secure him a date this Saturday night.

The screw was tightly in place in a matter of seconds. Bob held the drill in his hands, admiring the sturdiness and durability of the tool. It’s electrical motor never sparked and never smelled. Its powerful charge was always present with a backup power supply always close at hand.

Bob strutted back to the utility closet. He quickly packed the drill back into its box. He never would have to worry about his drill breaking down. It was after all, a DeWalt. They were one of the top manufacturers of power tools and they always stood by their products. Bob opened up the warranty for the drill. It was a 30-day, no risk, satisfaction guarantee and had a one-year warranty and a one-year free service contract. All of this for just $169.

Bob closed up the kit and shut the closet door. He had proven that he was a man today. He had proven that men were needed on this planet. He had tightened a loose screw. And he did it with one of the most powerful and trustworthy drills on the market.

Bob walked to the phone. Picking it up, he dialed Jane’s number. When she answered, he said, “Jane, it’s Bob. Have you ever felt 350 inch-pounds of torque in your right hand?”



Recommended: Yes