Well, here’s another one to put in the file labeled “Why on Earth is David listening to this?” Call me a glutton for punishment if you will, but when a high-profile artist puts out an album that is more talked about due to the confusion it causes listeners, than due to the pleasure it gives them, a part of me gets so curious that I simply must hear it for myself. With some patience, it’s actually led to some fascinating listening experiences, like with the most recent Tool album, or the last two Radiohead albums. So, this time around, I decided to give a listen to Drukqs, the two-disc epic from the confoundingly strange electronica act known as Aphex Twin.

I’ll have to make the disclaimer that I have no previous exposure to Aphex. What I knew before listening to this album was simply what I had read. I knew that Aphex Twin was simply a label under which one man, Richard D. James could explore his love for electronic music and allow the rest of us to listen in. I knew that Richard was infamous for offering fans very few explanations or straight answers to much of anything. I knew that his past music ran the gamut between pounding techno tunes and experimentally moody ambient pieces, usually trying to throw the listener a curveball in some fashion. From what I understood, Drukqs was the first official Aphex album to come along in a while, following on the heels of whatever singles and EP’s Richard had thrown out over the past five years since his last full disc. Fans were hungry for this, and the more Richard screwed around with them in the meantime, the more rabid their devotion became. (Cult followings are like that.) Most importantly, I knew that Drukqs was an instrumental work that was supposed to bounce back between quiet and loud extremes, likely intended to expand the horizons of what listeners called “music”.

Now, those of you who regularly read my reviews are probably wondering, “Is he going to break down every single track on this monstrosity of an album?” Well, of course. That’s my tried and true method. But you’ll notice the paragraphs get shorter as I go. But if that’s a bit cumbersome for ya, I’m happy to summarize: Drukqs comes off as an album that tries too hard not to be understood. It vacillates between abrasive, skittering techno beats and computer noises, quirky percussive mid-tempo tracks, soft piano melodies, and random snippets of noise, without much of an apparent roadmap to guide the listener through the experience. Long pauses in between most of the tracks make the whole thing feel even more disjointed and random, and with a few notable exceptions, even the titles themselves are random gibberish. Does that help any?

If not, then you’re as confused as I am. Please do read on as I make a desperate attempt to make sense of Mr. James. Just for fun, I’ve made my best attempts to pronounce or decipher most of the track titles.

DISC ONE

Jynweythek Ylow
(Jin-way-thek Ee-low)
The first sounds to greet the listener are those of a music-box, or some slightly out-of-key piano-like instrument. The melody is pleasant and actually memorable - just a bit on the quirky side. No pounding beats to be found here, but the average listener will assume that this is just an intro to build tension and anticipation for some more complex and fulfilling tracks ahead.

Vordhosbn
(Vord-hoz-bin)
Here we get our first taste of Aphex’s blistering brand of electronica - sharp beats and high-pitched notes abound, keeping a fairly pleasant musical structure throughout, even if some more abrasive noises break in every now and then. The track runs to near five minutes - a modest length by electronica standards, and due to Aphex’s penchant for ever-evolving beats, remains fairly enjoyable throughout.

Kladfvgbung Micshk
(Klad-vig-bung Mishk - Sounds like some sort of Russian soup to me.)
A shorter track crops up here, involving a lot of metallic, rhythmic clanging sounds - almost like someone is banging around inside a piano. I kind of like the sound, though I do begin to notice at this point that the melody kind of wanders without going much of anywhere interesting.

Omgyjya Switch 7
(Om-jee-jia Switch 7 - the letters are an anagram for A Witch Gym‘s Joy. Perhaps it‘s about an evil torture chamber where evil women beat up men?)
Switching back into techno mode, this is one of the more interesting tracks on disc one. Lots of whirring electronic noises, often followed by what sounds like the voice of a man crying in pain. Kind freaky, actually, but in a memorable way. A definitive chord pattern, played by high-pitched keyboards, breaks in later - this will be a recurring theme on a few tracks later in the album. The track does run a little long.

Strotha Tynhe
(Stroh-tha Tine)
This is the first of many slow, meditative piano tracks, and at first, I really like this style. It may make for a weird transition out of a blistering electronic track like the one before it, though in this particular case, a long pause makes the change in mood work a little better. I notice subtle key changes every now and then, and a slight reverb applied to the piano.

Gwely Mernans
(Guell-ee Mer-nonz)
This track only barely manages to escape the garbage bin of “random noise”. A low, consistent rolling sound rumbles throughout the whole track, while some delicate, mournful tones echo above it. They have no apparent tune or rhythm. It gives me a vision of being trapped underground while tanks and all manner of war machines are above, searching for me. While it does a good job of providing a mental picture, five minutes of this gets really old. It eventually begins a very long fade, drifting off into silence.

Bbydhyonchord
(I‘m partial to pronouncing this one Baby dyin’ chord)
This one fades in on a more casual tone, with beats that don’t sound too far removed from bongos and steel drums and hand claps - it conveys a slightly tropical mood. More high-pitched tones wander throughout; they seem to jump between two different chords. Once again, this gets old after a minute or two.

Cock/Ver10
(Cock Ver-ten - you probably don’t need much help pronouncing this or analyzing its title!)
One of the most aggressive tracks on the album kicks in almost immediately with a more danceable beat - this one would probably work better in the clubs than a lot of the other tracks, though I’m not sure whether Richard would want it that way or not. A lot of harsh, buzzing noises drive it along, and the beat does a pretty good job of morphing over the length of the song. Just when Richard nearly commits the same sin of wandering off into never-never land and boring us all, a rather unnecessary vulgar interjection breaks in (one of few clear human voices to be heard on this album, I might add), and then the beat just wigs out, possibly even breaking out of its 4/4 meter for a little while. It’s a keeper, though not flawless by any means.

Avril 14th
(Ayve-rill Fourteenth - Most likely refers to the date Richard recorded this one, and he’s just misspelling it to be difficult.)
I like this one. Again, it’s a short simple piano melody, but it’s probably the most pleasing entry in this category. The melody sounds almost classical, like something you’d hear walking through an art gallery on a Sunday afternoon.

Mt. Saint Michel Mix St. Michael’s Mount
(Needs no pronunciation help, though I can rearrange the letters to spell Mom, I’m an Ill Sex Ethicist’s Mulch Mat? - isn‘t that helpful?)
I don’t know what to say about the title, other than that it’s about as overdone as the track itself. It’s a good exercise in matching driving techno beats to a familiar and pleasant melody, and even throwing in some nice female vocals (wordless, of course) to boot, but for crying out loud, Richard, was it really necessary to give us eight and a half minutes of this? Some static breaks in to make things a little more interesting near the end, but my guess is that unless you’re in a trance, this one will probably bore you after it hits about the four-minute mark.

Gwarek 2
(Gwor-eck 2 - Okay, Star Trek fans, you know that’s gotta be somewhere in the Delta quadrant - go find out for me!)
Hands down, this is the strangest thing I’ve ever heard. There is no rhythm to it, nor is there a tune. It sounds like a nightmarish trip through a dungeon at the beginning, with plenty of metallic, echoing screams. Richard might just have an unhealthy fascination with torture - it wouldn’t surprise me. The track laters veers away from the cries of the damned into a seemingly endless series of cranking sounds, like somebody is trying to get a machine to work, and then finally, a low hum can be heard, and that’s the end of the track. I’m sure it sounds intriguing, but keep in mind, this goes on for six and a half minutes. Given his attitude of, “I’ll put out whatever I want and see if anyone cares“, I wouldn’t be surprised if Richard just decided to record himself playing a video game.

Orban Eq Trx4
(Oar-bin Eek Trex 4)
Something about this mid-tempo, bass-heavy track sounds a bit mischievous - but I get the feeling that the only mischief going on is Richard snickering behind our backs about the fact that we’re actually listening to this tripe. I’m not amused. Next track.

Aussois
(Aw-swaw - is that a name for an Austrian person? It’s an anagram of U.S. Oasis.)
Get this - about five seconds of unintelligible voices. It could have made for a sharp transition into another track, but instead Richard gives us the usual dull pause in between tracks. Brilliant. (Hah!)

Hy a Scullyas Lyf a Dhagrow
(High a Skull-yuss Liff a Dog-row - rearrange the letters and you get Ahoy, Dry Fly Lush Scalawag!)
Here we return to the music-box sounds from track one (I don’t feel like looking back to recall the spelling of its name). It reminds me a little bit of the ambient mood behind the title track from Radiohead’s Kid A, though there’s not as much going on here. Track one was better, or maybe I just think that way because I wasn’t so jaded at the beginning of the album.

Kesson Daslef
(Kess-un Doss-leff - another German-sounding name. It’s very telling to note that this title can be arranged to spell Naked Self, S.O.S.)
At this point, I really don’t understand why Richard felt the need to drag on for over five minutes with a lot of the preceding tracks, and then pile four really short tracks at the end of the CD. This particular track closes out disc one with another sad piano melody - here the key changes are a little more awkward, but still slightly interesting. I just feel like a lot of these shorter tracks don’t give me enough to help me really paint a picture.

TRACK REVIEW SUMMARY (DISC ONE)
Excellent: Jynweythek Ylow, Avril 14th
Good: Vordhosbn, Strotha Tynhe, Cock/Ver10
Decent: Kladfvgbung Micshk, Omgyjya Switch 7, Mt. Saint Michel Mix St. Michael’s Mount, Kesson Daslef
Weak: Bbydhyonchord, Orban Eq Trx4, Hy a Scullyas Lyf a Dhagrow
Skippable: Gwely Mernans, Gwarek 2, Aussois

DISC TWO

54 Cymru Beats
(54 Sim-roo Beats - can be rearranged to spell My Bare Cuts, which is a fitting description for the whole album!)
The second disc cranks up with an incredibly promising slab of techno. True to its title, the beat goes through numerous iterations as the track wears on, this time doing a very effective job of keeping the listener interested. (I guess even a haphazard formula can strike gold every now and then, but that’s kind of like the analogy of an infinite number of monkeys typing on an infinite number of typewriters and one of them coming up with all of Shakespeare’s plays.) Richard keeps us guessing with a number of different vocal snippets (one of which sounds like a Macintosh voice talking about gummy bears), and plenty of points where the beat stops and switches to something completely different. More static worms its way in near the end, eclipsing the track and becoming a little hard on the ears, but it eventually releases its hold. Pretty good job, I must admit.

Btoum-Roumada
(Buh-toom Roo-mah-dah - Sounds very African.)
This two-minute track sounds like church bells with more reverb applied. It has a distinctly British feel to it; it’s rigid but quite peaceful at the same time.

Lornaderek
(Lorna Derek - these appear to be the names of Richard’s parents.)
Wow, this is the most easily understood track on the album - it’s Richard’s parents singing “Happy Birthday” on his answering machine. I get the vague sense while listening to the second disc that Richard has some contempt for his parents.

QKThr
(Cue-kay-thur)
Another really short track - that makes three in a row. Kind of kills the momentum after the killer start of the disc. This one, which I’ve also seen listed as “Penty Harmonium”, is a series of notes from what sounds like an organ gasping for air. It seems to want to play a tune, but it can’t get off the ground. Hmmm… rather telling, isn’t it?

Meltphace 6
(Melt-face Six - Sounds like a good title for a new Playstation game to me.)
This one’s less interesting beat-wise than some of the others - it plays out like a more traditional techno track, except for a quiet ambient part in the middle where the keyboard tones dominate and the beats fall away. It’s interesting at first, but once again, that interest is killed by the length of the track. Richard tries to hold our attention by using some echoing female vocals later on, but it’s too little, too late.

Bit 4
(Once again, no pronunciation help needed.)
Just a short buzzing noise that makes itself known and then echoes off into the distance.

Prep Gwarlek 3b
(Prep Guar-leck Three-Bee - take out the number 3, and you have an anagram of Keg Brawl Prep, which probably describes the college Richard went to.)
More clunking around inside a piano. It’s an interesting sound, but it kind of wears out its welcome now that it’s been used by itself in more than one track.

Father
(What‘s this, an actual English title?)
Another short series of sad, wandering piano notes. Sounds like a bored kid banging on the keys just to get his parents’ attention. It probably sums up Richard’s attitude about his father - who knows?

Taking Control
(Two English titles in a row? Why are these the least interesting tracks?)
The initial beat here sounds more 80’s, and you can hear a computerized voice in the background saying “I have control of the drum machine” over and over and over and over and OVER AND OVER… You get the idea. It gets more sing-songy, as if it’s making fun of Richard, but it’s not really all that amusing. About halfway through the seven minutes worth of this ridiculous track, Richard’s mom shows up, and I think Richard has a little too much fun sampling and breaking up her voice. She isn’t saying much of anything interesting, just “Lorna, Derek, Richard” over and over. The beats get more interesting toward the end, but nothing close to what some of the previous tracks accomplished.

Petiatl Cx Htdui
(Puh-title Sex Hut-dwee - can be rearranged to spell A Petit Child Tux.)
Another solemn piano track with a slight echo effect. Little bits of an interesting tune stick out, but it’s not fully developed. It has a similar feel to “Avril 14th”.

Ruglen Holon
(Roo-glen Hoe-lawn - amusingly, it can be rearranged to spell Go Run? Hell No!)
Too bad these tracks aren’t as interesting as what I can do with their names. This one’s more of the music box stuff, a little more sparse this time around. At this point in the album, I’d really love to hear something I haven’t heard - it’s like Richard took a few innovative ideas that could have filled a few minutes’ worth of space, and reiterated them all to stretch into an hour and a half’s worth of play time.

Afx237 V7
(Aphex 237 V7 - Hasn’t he released remixes under the name “AFX“?)
This is a livelier electronic track with skittering beats and metallic noises galore - very video game-like. It makes good use of some creepy broken-up voices at the beginning, and I suppose it doesn’t overstay its welcome too long at a mere four minutes.

Ziggomatic V17
(Zig-o-matic V17 - I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw an infomercial for such a product at 3 in the morning!)
Aargh, somebody kill me now! This one’s a lot of bubbly electronic noise with similar beats to the last track - thirteen minutes of pretty much the same thing back-to-back just isn’t a wise move. I could understand if Richard were trying to be “progressive” and bring us through different moods over the span of an eight-and-a-half minute track (the longest on either disc), but it sounds to me like he’s just killing time. A computerized voice comes in at the end, thanking us for our attention. Sheesh, what attention?

Beshku3epnm
(Besh-coo-threep-un-um - Take out the three and you get one of Richard‘s favorite products - Ben‘s U.K. Hemp.)
This one’s a “happy” medium between the soft piano tracks, the “music box” tracks, and the “banging around inside a piano” tracks. Again, the approach is more interesting than the result.

Nanou 2
(Nah-noo Too! Maybe he’s been watching Mork and Mindy.)
At long last, THE END! This piano finale is very sparse and reserved, playing one methodical note/chord at a time. I guess it works, though it doesn’t really leave the listener with much of a sense of completion.

Well, if describing some of these tracks wasn’t an exercise in complete futility, I don’t know what is. I’d wager that I spent more time figuring out how to describe some of these tracks than Richard spent creating them. I just don’t get any sense of a master plan here - an idea that the tracks belong where they are. Since most of the more interesting material is on disc one, it seems like Drukqs would be best enjoyed by keeping the whole thing on your computer in mp3 format and just leaving your player on “Random”. That’s likely how Richard determined their order in the first place. The titles probably came from the same well of inspiration as most of the so-called “melodies” on this album - a lot of random banging on the keyboard. It’s frustrating - there are a lot of good ideas here, and a lot of these tracks, if fully realized, could have been very captivating. As it is, most of them are random trips off into nonsense, much like the Drukqs Richard was likely taking when he put this thing together.

If you’re a hardcore fan of Aphex’s past work (which I haven’t heard, but I assume this is a logical progression), or if you’re into trippy electronic compositions that purposefully break a lot of the rules of popular music, then by all means, have fun with this album. As for me, I think I’m going to go listen to something more commercial-sounding. Like Radiohead.

TRACK REVIEW SUMMARY (DISC TWO)
Excellent: 54 Cymru Beats
Good: Btoum-Roumada, Afx237 V7
Decent: Petiatl Cx Htdui, Nanou 2
Weak: QKThr, Meltphace 6, Prep Gwarlek 3b, Ruglen Holon, Beshku3epnm
Skippable: Lornaderek, Bit 4, Ziggomatic V17

Great Music to Play While: Gvindo Br2ndive Ifswaereos Di3Lar Taiel.


Recommended: No