Thanks to some quick thinking from my buyer’s agent, I was able to purchase my new home furnished with some pretty classy stuff. My Canadian Maple dining room set (with matching bar stools) is really cool - trumped only by my brandy-new Canadian leather living room set (in hazelnut, no less...).
Not exactly sure why most everything here originated from north of the border, but hey... it was free and the leather couch is really comfy, so I just count my blessings. After all, with economic conditions such as they are, my not-so-eco-friendly ottoman could have eminated from some exotic location such as Shanghai...
Speaking of which . . .
Of all the junk China ships here each year, the Duck Gets Sportsman figurine has to be the most bizarre item of the bunch. Produced by Young, Incorporated, the five-inch tall porcelain waterfowl is either a study in (not so subtle) duck hunter humor, or a parallel universe indictment of the fragile (and often tasty) state of human/duck relations.
Duck, unlimited . . .
I first noticed the Duck Gets Sportsman figurine on closing day. With keys in hand, I drove back from the lawyer’s office to find the short and curious statue sitting on the wet bar of the rumpus room. Upon hasty glance, I dubbed him “Hobo Duck”, as I had mistaken the rifle and hog-tied hunter for a pole and a bindlestiff (the common term for a hobo’s backpack). The movers took to Hobo Duck like ducks to water - though eventually turning his noble presence into the object of subjugate ridicule.
"One-Adam-12... we have reports of a duck with a gun . . .”
My fine feathered friend features a moderate level of detail; though I can’t be sure if his features are hand-painted. Those features include (but are not limited to) an unmistakable Mallard appearance - sporting a yellow bill, hunter green head and white collar band. His feathers are layered to good effect and the brown-to-beige coloring is subtle. Yellow webbed feet stand upon a base of marsh grass similar in color to pea soup.
The personification of said duck occurs when his right wing becomes arm-like to facilitate the manipulation of his (unregistered?) shotgun. The gun detail is rather good for a duck in the low-priced field - aside from the fact that no trigger appears and he possesses no opposable thumbs to operate such a device if it did.
Misunderstood Mallard?
What’s really disturbing is the apparent ambiguity of the hunter’s condition. Hog-tied and hanging (by a thread) from the gun barrel, his mouth and eyes are wide-open. Besides looking very uncomfortable, I worry about his vital signs. Furthermore, where exactly is the deranged duck’s destination? A web of similar criminals, perhaps? And will there be a ransom involving large or small unmarked bills? Will a cool million be enough to feather his nest?
Duck Day Afternoon . . .
They say every duck has his day, but the depiction of such a fowl deed should be reason enough to pin a photo of “Hobo Duck” on every post office wall in the land. And with an asking price of around $16 (US), such highway robbery may call for multiple charges and concurrent sentencing when he finally goes up the river.
This review documents another item of utter uselessness found in the Epinions database and, as such, deserves a place in theT.R.I.V.I.A.L. Write-Offhosted by mmcphee. Thanks, Mary Ellen!
Recommended:
Yes
Amount Paid (US$): Gift Type of Toy: Action Figure
Age Range of Child: Whole Family
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