I might snap my gum loudly while talking with you. I might throw a handful of straws at you, rather than bothering to count out the proper amount. I might make you scoot over so I can take a load off while taking your order. And I will definitely dance on the countertop to various songs (no, not naked!).

They pay me to do this. Hell, you pay me to do this.

Background Info:
Contrary to what Epinions may think, Ed's is actually a chain restaurant, with five locations across the USA (Phoenix -- where I'm at, Chicago, Beverly Hills, Milwaukee, and Deerfield). Chicago was actually the second of the five to open... Phoenix being #1. I work as a waitress here, and it's one of the most fun jobs I've ever had. Now if only it paid better...

Remember Pulp Fiction?
John and Uma's characters went to that crazy diner where you sat in cars. Well... Ed Debevic's is like that, only without the cars. I've also been told it's like that diner where Monica worked at (and was told to wear fake boobs) on Friends', but I haven't seen that particular episode so I can't confirm that one.

Basically, we have a cute 50s/60s diner theme going on. Signs hang from the walls displaying phrases such as "No, we do not serve drinks with cute little umbrellas" and "Due to circumstances beyond YOUR control, we no longer accept personal checks." The chairs and booths are covered in glittery vinyl. Most booths have their own jukebox where you can select songs to be piped through the restaurant.

So, What'cha Wanna Drink?
Ed's is known for it's thick, delicious shakes and malts, offered in the traditional chocolate/vanilla/strawberry varieties, as well as both butterscotch, oreo, and strawberry-banana. Black Cows (aka root beer floats) are also extremely popular, although messy as the float-makers put the scoop of ice cream on the rim of the glass (don't ask why they do this, it doesn't seem very smart to me either). We also make flavored cokes using cherry, vanilla, or chocolate syrup.

If you're more into the alcoholic drinks, Ed's has a full bar as well. We also feature our own beer, geniusly named "Ed's Beer." Wish I could tell you about it, but being 20, I can't do that. Anyone who has tried it, please let me know what you think.

So, Are Ya Hungry or What?
A big portion of the menu is occupied by various sorts of hamburgers. My personal favorite is the Route 66 burger, served on sourdough bread with a generous helping of guacamole. Just beware... it's not possible to eat this one without getting a bit messy. Other big sellers include the Blue Moon Burger (topped with Blue Cheese and toasted onions) and the ChiliBurger (but make sure you use your fork!).

Of course, there are other options. The hot dogs are extremely popular, especially the Cheese Dog (with cheese sauce and shredded cheddar) and the Chili Dog (topped with... you guessed it... chili). The list of sandwiches is rather extensive as well, offering everything from grilled cheese, to a meatloaf sandwich, to a turkey reuben (you people that order sandwiches with sauerkraut on them and then EAT them make my stomach churn). All burgers, dogs, and sandwiches are served with either fries or onion straws (think onion rings, only not ring-shaped).

Also offered are numerous "Deluxe Plates," Ed's home cooking style meals. The Roasted Turkey Platter is a big seller, beat out only by the chicken fried steak. Most are served with mashed potatoes with gravy, and the vegetable of the day (which seems to be green beans rather frequently, although today they surprised me by dishing out broccoli and cauliflower).

What About Those Veggie-Sauruses?
Ed's serves a Veggie Chili that is every bit as delightful as it's meat-fortified relative (which you can top with numerous things, such as macaroni, cheese, onions, kidney beans, or sour cream if you so desire). All hamburgers can be made with a Garden Burger instead of beef. We also offer many delicious, huge salads (most come with chicken, but we gladly will make them without).

And for Dessert?
Good luck having enough room for dessert... the dinners are massive and tend to take up all the space. However, we do offer the World's Smallest Sundae... basically a hot fudge sundae in a shotglass. Also offered are various kinds of pie (apple, oreo, and banana cream), rice krispie treats, and bread pudding. Mmm mmm good!

How's the Service?
Here's the catch... the servers are somewhat obnoxious, but in a playful sort of way. We'll tease you. We'll make your 8-year-old son blush by asking him about his girlfriend. And if it's your birthday, lord have mercy on your soul. And there are two 5 minute breaks every half hour where it is nearly impossible to get yourself a server... because we're too busy dancing on the countertop to classics like Car Wash, Sign Seal Deliver, or I'm Your Boogie Man. But we're more than happy to refill your drinks, accommodate your special requests (although we'll tease you about them, for sure), and make sure what you pay for is what you get. Don't be afraid to dish out some sassy attitude of your own... it's more fun if you play along!

Way Expensive, Right?
Not really. For a burger, fries, and a soft drink, it'll run you $8 or $9. It's not McDonald's, but it's not any higher than Denny's. Besides, here you get entertainment. You get a blast to the past. And, gosh darn it, you get ME!

Hmm... Well...
Oh stop being a pansy and just stop by already. You'll have a good time, and I'll have a good time pickin' on you. If you're in AZ and happen to swing by, feel free to ask for Kiz. I'll give you a night to remember (not like that!).

(Ed Debevic's in Phoenix closed up shop as of May, 2003. It was a sad day for many an Arizona dweller. However, I do believe that the other locations are still open for business, so do check them out if you get a chance!)


Recommended: Yes

Kid Friendliness: Yes
Vegetarian Friendly: Yes