Fire & Ice = Ire & Vice
Written: Oct 26 '03 (Updated Jun 17 '05)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: None
Cons: Raw meat contamination, obnoxious decor, poor service, long wait for dinner.
The Bottom Line: The worst restaurant concept I have ever experienced!
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| modernmarvel's Full Review: FiRE + iCE |
Fire & Ice has the worst concept for a restaurant that I have ever encountered. They have managed to make dining out a worse experience than staying home, slaving over a hot stove and eating in. The worst part is that you pay a lot for the experience.
THE EXPERIENCE
Well, that is how they market it anyway. The concept of Fire & Ice is that you are not just eating out but having an "experience." The first thing you should know is that all adult meals are self-service. The staff will not bring anything to your table except drinks. Also, there are no menus since all of the meals are assembled by guests. There is only one price: $15.95 for adults. It sounds like a buffet - but then it gets progressively worse. First, you can head to the salad bar and get your salad. That was easy enough.
Next is the bizarre part. You grab a small bowl and get in line to choose the ingredients for your entree. There are many meats and vegetables to choose from. You should fill up your bowl because it could barely be considered an adult-sized portion. After that you grab another teeny bowl and fill it with sauce. From that point, you wait in line again until you gain access to the grill area.
When you receive the appropriate acknowledgment from the grill staff you can join the ritual grill circle. This large circle is the centerpiece of the restaurant. In the middle of the circle is a large, circular grill with a hole in the middle. My husband and I deemed it a nomadic sundial. The grill staff "prepares" the grill by scraping the crusted remains of the prior patron's meals off the metal and then covering the grill with a layer of oil. Then the staff takes your small bowl of ingredients and pours them on the grill. Then, you STAND THERE for at least 15 minutes while your meal cooks. As you stand in the ritual circle, you can gaze around at the bored and hungry faces of the other guests. No one looks interested, no one looks entertained.
It seemed bizarre, just standing there, waiting for my dinner. I could feel the grease from the grill settling into my pores. I could watch the plaintive expressions of the other guests as we stood in the circle eyeing the grill. The staff occasionally stirred our concoctions although there was no effort at performance. It was as though time had stopped.
Left to my own thoughts, I began to think about how this "experience" differed from preparing dinner in my own home. At home, I have to assemble ingredients, choosing the correct proportions of meats, vegetable and spice. At home, I have to stand and wait next to the stove while the dinner is prepared. However, preparing food at home is not monotonous because, at least, I can stir and season.
At Fire & Ice, I stood near the food as it cooked but was just an arm's length away from being able to stir, test, reseason or otherwise interact with the food. It was a food theater and I, the audience, was held captive yet frustratingly out of reach of the action. I concluded that the only thing different at Fire & Ice is that I pay $15.95 for the "experience" and at home I have to do the dishes.
OUR "EXPERIENCE"
Things started off nicely as we all ate our salads together. Apparently, there is no children's menu but they will provide chicken fingers and fries for children for $4.95. We chose this option until, 15 minutes later, the waitress reported the fryalator was broken. So, we had no choice but to get the kids cheeseburgers from the grill. My husband stood and waited for 25 minutes holding my 4 year old son while his cheeseburger cooked. When we finally got it back to the table, it was completely raw inside and we didn't let him eat it. It took me 25 minutes to assemble a meal and wait for it to cook. By the time we got our meals and a meal for each of our children, we never got to eat together as a family because we were constantly getting up to assemble or wait on food. Our meals took different times to cook so we were faced with the decision of whether to eat our food hot or wait for everyone else to get their food. It is hard enough to entertain small children sitting at a table in a restaurant. Try entertaining children while standing in a front of a grill for 20 minutes. The whole meal was ridiculously long, chaotic and miserable.
THE FOOD
I am pretty sure that almost every food item at Fire & Ice comes from a can. There were olives, pineapple chunks, little mandarin orange fruit slices, baby corns and several other uninspired salad bar staples all with that canned food aftertaste. The rest of the "fresh" items appeared to be either previously frozen and had a slightly smushed appearance or looked dried out and tasted bitter and old.
The salad bar had: lettuce, chick peas, olives, mushrooms, cucumbers, green peppers, tomatoes and just a few other items. Wendy's has a better salad bar. There were only four salad dressings and those were mediocre at best.
For the grilling portion of the "experience," there were a lot of meats to choose from including salmon, shrimp, fatty chicken, turkey and sirloin. There were also giant balls of ground meat for hamburgers but judging from the pinkish color, I would say the ground meat had a very, very high fat content.
The sauces were just okay although there were at least 15 to choose from. Most of them could be purchased in your local supermarket in jars. I tried red curry which really didn't have much of a curry flavor and was more of a citrus. It was just okay and not what I expected. My husband tried a citrus sauce and liked it.
I don't think there are any desserts. There were no menus so we couldn't tell for sure but I didn't see desserts anywhere in the restaurant.
PORTIONS
In theory, this is an all-you-can-eat situation. You can go to the grill or salad bar as many times as you like. However, you are limited to one bowl per visit and the bowls are very small. Plus, you have to stand and wait while the bowl is prepared. It was so annoying standing and waiting for one portion to be cooked, that you are unlikely to go back for more.
When we visited, the restaurant was less than 1/3 filled yet there was a line for the ingredients bar and the grill. It took me 10 minutes to assemble the ingredients, mostly because I waited in line and another 25 minutes to wait in line at the grill and then have the food cooked. After that, I was so hungry, it took me 10 minutes to eat the teeny meal. I was not about to start the 35 minute process all over again so I grabbed a bunch of stuff from the salad bar to feel full.
RAW MEAT
I am pretty sure everything I ate came in contact with raw meat at least once during the "experience." There was raw meat in the ingredient bar and it seems the serving utensils were interchanged with other utensils used for vegetables.
I watched the staff use the same utensils to put raw meat on the grill and then immediately pick up cooked food and put it on a plate to serve to a guest.
SERVICE
It took 20 minutes to get our drinks. After that, we never needed our waitress. A bus boy kept trying to take our plates of food that we had worked so hard to get. As a result, we had to leave our 7 year old at the table to guard the food we had already scrounged to that we could hunt and gather some more.
There were several staff members charged with refilling the ingredients bar and salad bar. They all looked angry. The entire mood of the restaurant was rather dour with the angry help and the ritual grill circle of hungry guests.
DECOR
The decor is either funky or offensive, depending on your taste. Every bright color is used including red, orange, teal, citron and purple in shocking combinations. There are bad modern sculptures everywhere plus acrylic shapes and upsidedown lamps hanging from the ceiling. Lighting is generally bare, colored bulbs. There are booths and tables. Every surface is covered and most surfaces are bent or curved. It looks a little like a too bright bad dream. It might work for a children's playroom but it was not an appropriate setting for a relaxing, adult meal.
OTHER INFORMATION
Vegetarian Friendliness: There were plenty of vegetarian options available although I am pretty sure raw meat contaminated everything.
Handicapped Accessibility: Everything was on one floor and the tables were well spaced although the grill area and ingredient bar would be difficult to reach if you were confined to a wheelchair. You also have to stand for 20 minutes or so to wait for your meal.
Child Friendliness: Forget it. How can you watch your children while assembling your meal and your children's meal and then waiting for them to be cooked. I saw high chairs but don't recommend this place for families.
Liquor: A few beers on tap. A small wine list. I saw a bar menu but didn't see a bar.
Locations: We ate at the Providence, RI location. There are other locations in the Boston area.
FINAL RECOMMENDATION
I don't get this restaurant. It was crazy to stand and watch your dinner cooked. Our meal was stressful and chaotic and at $55 for our family, totally unacceptable. I have to give this restaurant one star.
HUNGRY FOR MORE? TRY THESE BOSTON-AREA RESTAURANTS:
BOSTON: Radius; Caffe Vitoria; Excelsior; Jacob Wirth; Cottonwood Cafe.
BROOKLINE: Mr. Sushi; Fugakyu; Takeshima; Tsunami; Anna's Taqueria; Zaftigs Delicatessen; Bangkok Bistro; Golden Temple.
NEWTON: Appetito; India Paradise; Blue Ribbon Barbeque; Ice Cream Works; Baker's Best; Bill’s Pizzeria; Cafe Nicolas; Union Street; O’Hara’s; Yeradi’s.
CAMBRIDGE: S&S Restaurant; The Japanese Mall; Jasper White’s Summer Shack.
WEST ROXBURY: Cafe Misono.
BRIGHTON: Tasca.
ESSEX: Woodman’s.
SAUGUS: Kowloon.
CHAIN RESTAURANTS: Not Your Average Joe’s; Bertucci’s; Legal Sea Foods; Cheesecake Factory; Rainforest Cafe; Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse; Friendly’s; Bruegger’s Bagels.
Recommended:
No
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modernmarvel
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Can anyone recommend a western family dude ranch for a vacation this summer?
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