I am completely unappreciated. You may think I exaggerate, but I can assure you, it’s absolutely true. Why, for years I wasn’t even allowed in the house. They had some cheap imitation, so I was all but forgotten. I harbored enormous resentment toward them and their imposter, let me tell you.

Finally, a while back, one of these geniuses came to the conclusion that I wasn’t such an instrument for evil after all (duh), and allowed me back into the fold. Not that I wasn’t grateful, mind you, but this is the Dairy State - what were these people thinking? Anyway, they figured out that it was me that made those pastries rich and flakey, me that made that frosting creamy, me that was responsible for all things delightful in the culinary world.

So where did they put me, the crown jewel of dairy products? In a plastic tub behind the tofu. Not that any of my mates had it any better – I could have been stuck on the door with the ketchup. Nonetheless, I was deeply offended at this treatment. Just as I thought they were coming around to realize my glory, they stick me in plastic as though I were a mere condiment. Fools.

One day, much to my surprise, I received a package. You must understand how rare it is for a dairy product to get mail. In fact, I’ve never before gotten a piece of mail. But this time, fate and people with actual taste combined to present me with the gift of my dreams – a home of my own. And not just any “butter dish” home. A butter dish extraordinaire, worthy of my stature and finally giving me the notice I so richly deserve. I swear it made me tear up (though it could have been condensation – hard to tell sometimes).

This particular home is a Fiestaware product. Though dairy products know little about crockery in general, I can tell you that Fiestaware is a popular line of dishes that come in a variety of rather striking solid colors. It all seems to have this pattern of ridges where the color is very pale, making the ridges stand out in a very attractive and decorative way. My home is no exception. The top has these same ridges, giving it the distinctive look of Fiestaware.

This abode has a bottom measuring approximately 7.5 x 4.5 inches, including the generous edge (I like to think of it as my “patio”). This is perfectly proportioned to fit my slender stick-like physique with no unnecessary crowding. There’s nothing worse than leaving bits of yourself stuck to the walls of your home. The top comes in at 6 x 2.75 inches, and includes a whimsical conical handle for easy removal when anyone has the desire to take it off and admire my beauty. The best part? It’s a lovely shade of cobalt blue. And not just on the outside for the benefit of the masses, but on the inside as well, so I get to bask in the relaxing blue glow. The color wonderfully accents my warm, soft yellow goodness, making this the ideal setting to display my buttery perfection. According to Fiestaware, the glaze used to create this color is completely lead free. A good thing as I do not wish to be contaminated.

When my home gets a little grubby, as it is bound to, seeing as how I’m forced to live with these heathens (I still haven’t really gotten over my years of exile), it can be cleaned either by hand or in the dishwasher. I prefer that they clean it by hand, as I do not like it mingling with their dirty cereal bowls, but either one will do. It can also be placed in the microwave, but this I will not permit, as microwaves and I are natural enemies. My motto is “if you nuke me I will melt”. This gift has not chipped nor cracked nor so much as complained when the clumsy people bonk it against counters and refrigerator shelves (note that the heathens do not apologize). While I assume neither it nor I would survive a fall onto the tile floor, it is standing up quite well to the daily abuse heaped upon it. As crockery goes, my home is a trooper!

So now I have a place of prominence in the refrigerator. Right up front where I belong. My new home is not easily shoved behind the cheese (of all the gross indignities) so I remain front and center, in my beautiful blue Fiestaware abode – proving once again that I am indeed the highest of refrigerator royalty. See anything else in here that gets mail? I didn’t think so. This Fiestaware cobalt blue butter dish is no less than I deserve, no less than any butter deserves. Take my advice; get one for your butter today, before it becomes vindictive and spiteful. Happy butter makes a happy home. You heard it here first.

Sincerely,

Sue’s Butter






*note: as this was a gift, I have no idea as to price, but really, is any price too great to make your butter happy?


** thanks to prfstars and sundogg99 for making this review possible. Well, I thank them; you may want to pummel them for providing me with the tools to torture you all.


***this review is part of the Challenge Yourself write off hosted by CaptainD in which one is supposed to write in a category they have never written in before. Thanks to Dave for providing my butter with an appropriate forum to speak its piece.


Recommended: Yes