I think my father hates me. Seriously. The man is obsessed with a burning passion -- to buy Aidan every toy ever made that makes loud, irritaitng noises and requires batteries. I currently have a three-foot-tall horse sitting in my bedroom that will whinny and play "Home on the Range" when you press his ear, because my father thinks it is "so cool."

Sigh.

So what is this thing?

The Fisher-Price Laugh & Learn Phone is a hard plastic, brightly colored phone approximately 5 inches in length. It has a cute yellow antenna with a smiling face on it, a large screen and 13 buttons for the baby to push and play with. On the side it has the on/off button and it takes three AAA batteries. Fisher-Price's age range is between 6 and 36 months and the retail price is $12.99. I'd say the age range is pretty accurate. Your child can start playing with it as soon as they can press buttons independantly... but you can play with them earlier by simply sitting with them and showing them how to use it. We got this as a baby shower present by (guess who) my father, and I would sometimes put Aidan in my lap and push the buttons so he could watch the letters or numbers illuminate the screen. He got a kick out of it when he was very young, but now (as you'll read below) at a year... he simply doesn't care about it.

This toy has three settings -- Alphabet, Numbers and Music. These settings are controlled by the three, clearly-labeled buttons right below the light-up screen. Just press a button and the settings change. Below the settings, there are 10 numerical buttons (along with their corresponding alphabetical letters). Each time you press one of the buttons, the screen will either display the corresponding number or group of three letters. In the music setting, each number will play a different tune and the screen will illuminate in pretty patterns for your child to observe. I have a small issue with the setup simply because the alphabet isn't laid out like it would be on a real phone.

When you press the "zero" button, the toy does not say "zero"... it either says cute things like "I love you," "Who's there?" while a rudimentary face illuminates the screen, or it will play either 1-2-3 Little Indians or the Alphabet Song. The music setting plays a variety of songs from "Pop Goes the Weasel" to "Mary Had a Little Lamb" -- there are 10 different tunes.

Fisher-Price makes the following claims on their website:

Teaches:

* Alphabet
* Numbers
* Colors
* Shapes
* Words
* Opposites
* Actions
* Textures
* Manners

I find those claims to be some of the most exagerated ones ever created for a product. How exactly does this phone teach manners? Or opposites? Or even textures (besides this is hard plastic)? How does it teach colors? What, because a toy is brightly colored in varying hues, it can actually claim to help teach a child colors? Are you kidding me? Shapes? Why? Because it has both ovals, quadrilaterals (well, they certainly aren't squares or rectangles or trapezoids) and maybe one ellipse? Then you have to love the fact that it teaches "words" and "actions." Yeah, ok. There are only two things that this thing does even moderately well and those are help teach the alphabet and the numbers from 1 through 9. That's it.

They go on to claim that you are teaching a child on a "realistic" phone, yet they can't position the alphabet correctly. That's something handy I'd love to know now... why can't we teach them that?!

I think it's offensive that this toy actually won an award. Truly. I do.

Ok... things that make Mommie and Baby happy :)

Ok, Aidan enjoys watching the rudimentary figures flash across the screen... and he loves to dance to the music. Honestly, that's perhaps the best part about this phone. He can press a button and listen to music whenever he wants. He also likes seeing what happens when he presses buttons, thus strengthening cause/effect relationships. He's not really wild about the numbers or letters yet, though he does watch the screen move.

I like the fact that you can begin to teach your child how to use a real phone at a very young age (with the exception of zero, which we'll get to in a second). While my son won't be chatting any time soon, I want to instill in him the numbers he needs to call if there's an emergency. It's handy for teaching them where the numbers are (they might remember the pattern if not the actual number itself).

Yeah. So that's about it.

Now, things that make Mommie and Baby sad :(

First, while I understand that it's a small, plastic toy... this thing is hard, light and makes for an effective weapon in the hands of a toddler. It's light enough for the kids to swing around with ease and it's also light enough to throw... now... try explaining to a one year old that it's ok to throw their soft rubber ball... but it's not ok to throw the phone. Ok... pretty hard huh? Now try to explain it to them while bleeding profusely from your nose. Also, most toddlers flail a lot (on accident, of course) so they have a tendency to brain other small toddlers with anything in their hands. When we get the 10 toddlers in our Mom's group together I'm amazed that no one gets any major brain damage because of all the knocks to the head. They do enough damage on their own, they don't need any help from something small, light and hard.

Secondly... where's the volume control button? This thing has on and off. The off is too silent for my son, but the on is way too loud for him to be holding the phone up to his ear. Heck, it's too loud for him to be playing with a few inches in front of his face. I can hear the phone all the way across the house, for pete's sake. This thing definitely needs some sort of volume setting because it could cause some major hearing loss if your child holds it up to their ears on a regular basis.

Also, even though Aidan has just recently discovered the joys of this phone... there is something going wrong with the wiring. How can you use this to teach numbers if, when you hit the 4 button, it says 8? How can you teach the alphabet if it plays DEF when you hit STU? While Aidan has owned this toy since birth, it has only gotten daily use in the past few weeks... and it's already sporting a wiring issue. Not so good.

Then we come to the zero. Apparently, the people at Fisher-Price didn't think it would be a good idea to try and teach the concept of zero to a child... so instead of saying "zero" when the child hits it, it says something cute like "Hello," "Bye Bye," or "I Love You." This is a pain if you are trying to teach your child your phone number... if it has a zero in it... mine does and it's really starting to infuriate me.

Lastly, who's brilliant idea was it to have the buttons that control the settings right above the other buttons? Instead of having it on the side of the phone (smart), they place the three buttons right about the numberical ones... so that when your child is pressing the buttons, they can switch through all three settings with wild abandon.... so it doesn't really teach them anything because the toy is going "It's Music Time... It's ABC Time.. AB... It's Number Time... 1... It's ABC T... It's Music Time." Yeah. Great. Oops, honey. The toy is broken.

....oookkaayyyy, so we see what you think... what about Aidan?

Honestly, Aidan could take this or leave it. If it's there and I turn it on, he'll push the buttons and bop to the music. He likes seeing the images flash on the screen after he pushes a button, so at least that's something worthwhile. But will this command his attention for any length of time? Not really. Usually he carries it over to whereever I'm working and hands it to me... expecting me to push the buttons and play the ABCs for him. He doesn't look for it if I hide it during my "anti-irritating toy" days and he doesn't get upset if it's not in his toybox.

It's just 'there' to him. He doesn't care if he plays with it and it won't occupy his attention for any length of time.

Bleg... Another electronic toy has earned my unending disgust

Right now, this Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Phone is sitting up on my desk... the antenna smiling happily at me... not understanding how much I hate it. It's loud, annoying and completely worthless. How is this toy educational? Because it flashes numbers and yells at your child? Not only can it not occupy my son so I can get a few things cleaned, it really doesn't do anything spectacular.

I'm starting to hate my father. Instead of picking out things that might have some sort of neat benefit, he insists on buying the loudest, most irritating toy out there. Though I will give him a pass on this (like I do with everything else), but it does have a neat gimmick. However, even for $13... a gimmick can't carry a toy.

I give this toy One Star and a Electronic-Toys-Are-Evil NO on the recommendation.

Pros:

*If I sit with my son, it can entertain him
*The retail is only $13, so it's cheap
*Teaches ABCs, numbers, and cause/effect
*My son likes to dance to the music setting
*Allows your child to play with a "realistic" phone
*There's an off button

Cons:

*Fisher-Price overinflates their claims
*Won't entertain my son for any length of time
*The wiring is already starting to get screwed up
*The zero doesn't work
*The letters aren't organized how they are on a real phone
*There aren't any volume controls
*The setting buttons are too close to the number buttons
*Seriously, it's just not worth it. Get a different toy phone, because this just plain stinks.

Recommended: No

Amount Paid (US$): 6.48
Type of Toy: Baby Toy
Age Range of Child: 0 to 12 Months