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Re: Re: Re: Re: Flantastic! (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Dis and Bliss-
I haven't caught him reaching down to eat a poop yet.
Throw up. Mouth. Just a bit.
But... saggy balls? When were you checking Poubeans out? Don't you respect his pig privacy?
I didn't need to actively check. Poubeans is an exhibitionist. He jumps and does splits and generally loves letting the world see his pig-package. I couldn't help but catch a glimpse, here and there.
We agree that he boweled - it's just that he didn't bowel on you, as you claim.
If I could offer up my psychological scars as evidence of his boweling, then I would.
You had already swooned by then anyway, how would you know?
I can swoon and note the existence of unchecked poop at the same time, you know? Just like I can walk and chew gum at the same time. Drinking and keeping my pant legs dry, on the other hand, is a task too complex for me to complete successfully.
Is this another example of "trying to score"? I think you should go for humor, which works from either side of the couch. Remember, if you get a woman laughing, you've got a woman loving.
And once I get that woman loving, every night will be a make out session with us.
It's fun, isn't it? And much easier than mustering complete sentences.
Ugh, ugh. Clever retort. Make funny. Punt pig. Ugh, ugh.
-cavemike
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Jan 10 '05
7:43 am PST
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Re: Re: Re: Flantastic! (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Cause I Mikes a bit,
With brownish hair, a ragged cage, and saggy balls, he would do the old soft poop.
Well, that's true enough, though I haven't caught him reaching down to eat a poop yet. But... saggy balls? When were you checking Poubeans out? Don't you respect his pig privacy?
You know how much I love running up against one of your one-word arguments, don't you? It's a rhetorical style that can only make for interesting discourse.
It wasn't an argument, it was a description. We agree that he boweled - it's just that he didn't bowel on you, as you claim. You had already swooned by then anyway, how would you know?
But I can't make a move from the other side of the couch. My moves can only go to the left.
What, like a yawn-and-stretch thing? Is this another example of "trying to score"? I think you should go for humor, which works from either side of the couch. Remember, if you get a woman laughing, you've got a woman loving.
*clever pun clever pun*
See, you do it too. It's fun, isn't it? And much easier than mustering complete sentences.
distrel shows and county fairs
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Jan 07 '05
9:25 am PST
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Flantastic! (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Sammy Disvis Jr.-
I almost named him Mr. Poujangles, in fact.
I knew a pig, Poujangles, and he'd jump up and down for you. In blackened claws. With brownish hair, a ragged cage, and saggy balls, he would do the old soft poop.
*bowel bowel*
You know how much I love running up against one of your one-word arguments, don't you? It's a rhetorical style that can only make for interesting discourse.
*discourse discourse*
I offered the other side of the couch to you, but noooo, you had to sit on the soiled side.
But I can't make a move from the other side of the couch. My moves can only go to the left.
Is this a clever pun, or just another Canadian-style typo? With you, I can never tell.
*clever pun clever pun*
-mr. mikejangles
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Jan 07 '05
8:14 am PST
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Flantastic! (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Mike Claw of Doom,
Yes, yes, yes. Poubeans is an all-around entertainer.
It's true. I almost named him Mr. Poujangles, in fact. That could still be his stage name, though.
jumping in place, fleeing, eating apples, having a black claw, and having protruding balls. He's a guinea pig of many talents.
Well, how many of those can you do? Wait, don't answer that.
It's close enough!
*bowel bowel*
I'd rather clean up the p!ss than sit in it.
Oh, it would have dried eventually. I offered the other side of the couch to you, but noooo, you had to sit on the soiled side.
asstigmatism.
Is this a clever pun, or just another Canadian-style typo? With you, I can never tell.
distigmatism
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Jan 06 '05
8:18 am PST
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Re: Re: Re: Flantastic! (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Homo Disseus-
Poubeans is good for tons of things. Why, he can puncture your finger, or soil your clothing and furniture, or get greasy hair all over you. To say nothing of his talents in the bedroom.
Yes, yes, yes. Poubeans is an all-around entertainer. You forgot: jumping in place, fleeing, eating apples, having a black claw, and having protruding balls. He's a guinea pig of many talents.
Poubeans never boweled on you
Did too!
Near you isn't quite the same thing.
It's close enough!
Anyway, nobody said you had to clean it up - you volunteered for that duty. So what does that say about you?
That I'd rather clean up the piss than sit in it. I don't think I'm alone on that count, actually.
Ah, I see it now. I'm so used to staring at Poubeans's butt coming out of the pigloo that I just don't see them anymore - it's all part of the landscape.
Well, you do have that asstigmatism. I guess there's an excuse for every malady.
-mikestigmatism
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Jan 05 '05
3:12 pm PST
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Re: hey there again... (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Tom-
Comment and NOT rate...?? What kind of dope would do that....?!?
I'm guessing a narcoleptic dope. Or, rather, the 54th narcoleptic dope. D'oh!
And clever use of a 'tinyurl' you sneaky . . ..
Finish the thought, eh? How about:
http://tinyurl.com/46atw
That site is fun!
I just realized my comments are incredibly too short! At least to get any loving in your comment threads!
It's not the size of the comment, it's the motion of the derision. Learn the ways of the snarkasm, and you shall become one of us.
-mike
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Jan 05 '05
3:07 pm PST
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hey there again... (Reply to this comment)
by sleeper54,  in Books
..
Say . . .I just realized my comments are incredibly too short!
At least to get any loving in your comment threads!
...:smiliemoment:...
'lean-n-mean' run amuck!
...tom...
' on the clock . . . '
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Jan 05 '05
6:03 am PST
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Re: Re: Flantastic! (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Poutinus Toronticus,
A Flanimal must be pitied and scorned - my favourite activities - but Poubeans is only good for punting
Oh, it's so untrue! Poubeans is good for tons of things. Why, he can puncture your finger, or soil your clothing and furniture, or get greasy hair all over you. To say nothing of his talents in the bedroom.
if one thought that random pee and poop droppings were adorable, one would adore a guinea pig. Otherwise it's just a big, furry football.
Poubeans never boweled on you, you know. Near you isn't quite the same thing. Anyway, nobody said you had to clean it up - you volunteered for that duty. So what does that say about you?
"Gervais" = "Gerv#&097ss". It's right there, staring you in the butt.
Ah, I see it now. I'm so used to staring at Poubeans's butt coming out of the pigloo that I just don't see them anymore - it's all part of the landscape.
foxicus americandis
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Jan 04 '05
8:44 am PST
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hey there again... (Reply to this comment)
by sleeper54, in Books
..
Comment and NOT rate...??
What kind of dope would do that....?!?
And clever use of a 'tinyurl' you sneaky . . ..
...tom...
' on the clock . . . '
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Jan 04 '05
6:28 am PST
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Re: If you wish hard enough, flanimals can be real! (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Sueciallus Woefulofulicus-
I'm confused by this book.
And by life in general, yadda yadda yadda.
Written by Gervais, sounding like a children's book. Yet not really like a children's book, because children won't get it. They'll find it stupid. And they'll be right. Because this isn't a book for them at all, I checked the "details". It's juvenile fiction! Yes, a far better classification - fiction for the juvenile adult.
I'm not sure even that is the best classification. "Juvenile", I agree with. Mainly because I spat milk through my nose, looking at some of these pictures. But it's not quite fiction. Fiction implies some sort of story. "Flanimals" farts in the general direction of the concept of story. Instead it's just a random collection of silly pictures, and absurd text. Kind of like a Millinocket Xmas card, in that way.
But Dis is soooo right, guinea pigs are way better than any flanimal. Does a flanimal whistle? I didn't think so.
Some might. If whistling weren't such a happy-time activity. Guinea pigs, as I learned this weekend, would actually make fine additions to the Flanimal family. They jump around for no reason, emit piercing screams at feeding time, and have no shame about piddling on the couch (and near my pants; don't they know that only I am allowed to soil my pants? Yeesh, the nerve).
-moinkoinkous zoinkoinkous
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Jan 03 '05
8:52 am PST
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Re: Flani-what??? (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Thespus Davecobbler-
Personally, I liked the pretty colours.
The shiny pretty colours.
I actually fended off a group of Customourous Spittlety-Twits the other day...they cornered me, called me names...and attempted to take my Chapters employee discount card. Well, OK, they got my card...no use in making up a story here...Last I heard, they've been impersonating me throughout the city, buying books, annoying booksellers and generally engaging in raucous activity.
With such a crimewave running rampant across the city, I'm glad to be out of town at the moment. The species of Renonono Casinotors I've encountered here have been friendly, forgiving, and not at all criminal. Though they could use a mullet trim or twelve. But it's winter, and I don't want to deny them the warmth such a follicle coat provides.
Glad you liked the book, bud. It must be heartwarming to know that when I see funny looking creatures on a children's book cover...I think of you.
Heartwarming. Yes, that's what it is. Heartwarming.
-expatriaticus mikeluffer
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Jan 03 '05
8:47 am PST
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Re: mfunky flumple: such a flanny (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Andyander one-seventy-threenicor
i bet i could talk about it for at least 1000 more words than you did
Hey, man, why not put your Eurodollars where your mouth is? All I can offer is colourful Canadian funny money, in return. But it should be enough to cover your bet.
i picked it up in the shop, only being attracted by gervais's name, saw what was inside, and put it down and slowly backed away before anyone recognized that i'd picked it up.
In that brief instant, you could have finished reading the book. It's that slight. Or, if the pause was even briefer than I assume, you could have flipped through and marveled at the colourful pictures of dirty Flanimals. For pure joy.
when will his obsession with gervais ever be sedated?
2011. Unless, of course, the next series is half as good as "The Office". Then: 2015.
what will happen if his ego inflates any more than it already has?
An explosion so epic the nuclear winter it causes will last a decade.
are the rumours about his unorthodox mating habits really true?
If by "unorthodox" you mean "thrice daily", then yes.
-mike
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Jan 03 '05
8:43 am PST
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Re: the fog creeps in on little cat feet: galumph! galumph! galumph! (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Voxypoppus-
the cover illustration helpfully posted on its very own Epinions listing.
It took quite the Flanimal hunting trip to track that one down. We lost three good men, in the jungles of Swindon, but finally brought home a catch suitable for posting.
I should buy it now, so my kids can grow up with it (kids love picture book),
Especially gross picture books. "Flanimals" contains enough spittle and puss to feed an army of screeching kiddies.
and so that i'll still have a couple years to check it out myself for any dangerous features they should avoid. Thanks for the tip!
No problem. Also, I should note, that it will spice up any and all boring biology classes. Assuming, of course, that you're teaching a fictional biology class.
this species has been known to flicker in and out of existence without warning, leading it to a frantic life typing mysterious "comments" written only to confirm, to its own temporary satisfaction, its current metaphysical "on" state.
Any good Epinionator will know Descartes second-most-famous maxim: I make silly comments, therefore I am.
-mikecartes hunterimus
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Jan 03 '05
8:37 am PST
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Re: ... (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Lawlicus of Jantelous-
I'm still trying to make up my mind about Ricky Gervais. I know him only as the insufferable David Brent from The Office (reviews of both seasons forthcoming, hopefully)
Though I suspect that there's nothing out there that can increase my love for "The Office", I'll keep my eyes peeled for your reviews. Not "peeled", per se, for that might sting just a tad. But "open" and "aware".
But he plays the role so bloody well that I might actually hate him.
I can't even defend Gervais, by saying that it's just a role and he's not really like that in waking life. For he is. The difference is that Gervais is self-aware where Brent is a beardy twat. It's a subtle difference, I know, but there nonetheless.
The British have a way with the love-hate relationship, they do.
Living in one of the colonies now, as you do, I suspect this trait has become part of your personality, too. By osmosis.
-mikenadian gervaisifanicus
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Jan 03 '05
8:33 am PST
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Re: hey there... (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Tom-
How about that humongous URL earlier made 'tiny-er':
http://tinyurl.com/4q7zq
...courtesy of tinyurl.com?
Wow, that's pretty magical. Not only does it shorten the URL, but it also eliminates the rating you gave to this review! Show us how you did it, Great Sleepero.
-http://tinyurl.com/5w6eo
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Jan 03 '05
8:26 am PST
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Re: Flantastic! (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Lesbiandis Assicus-
Oh sure, Flanimals are endearingly pathetic and live lives of bitter meaninglessness, but how can you really prefer an imaginary cartoon beast to the fluffy, chirping reality of Poubeans?
I don't prefer them more, I just prefer them differently. A Flanimal must be pitied and scorned - my favourite activities - but Poubeans is only good for punting.
You could spend your whole life inventing monsters for picture books, and never come close to attaining the furry adorableness that is a guinea pig.
I guess if one thought that random pee and poop droppings were adorable, one would adore a guinea pig. Otherwise it's just a big, furry football.
If I could choose to be the creator of "The Office" or the inventor of guinea pigs, I think you know which one I'd pick, in a heartbeat. A trembling rodent's heartbeat, that is.
David Brent may have a bit of a rat's face, but that doesn't make him a rodent. Does it?
What kind of pun can you possibly make with "Gervais"?
"Gervais" = "Gervass". It's right there, staring you in the butt.
-moinkoid pestochippler
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Jan 03 '05
8:22 am PST
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If you wish hard enough, flanimals can be real! (Reply to this comment)
by millinocket, in Books
Humoinkulous Poutinamorphous,
I'm confused by this book. Written by Gervais, sounding like a children's book. Yet not really like a children's book, because children won't get it. They'll find it stupid. And they'll be right. Because this isn't a book for them at all, I checked the "details". It's juvenile fiction! Yes, a far better classification - fiction for the juvenile adult.
I like it and believe I shall buy it.
But Dis is soooo right, guinea pigs are way better than any flanimal. Does a flanimal whistle? I didn't think so.
Suecheesus millicownockesis
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Jan 02 '05
9:40 pm PST
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Flani-what??? (Reply to this comment)
by drarnoklein
...Personally, I liked the pretty colours.
I actually fended off a group of Customourous Spittlety-Twits the other day...they cornered me, called me names...and attempted to take my Chapters employee discount card. Well, OK, they got my card...no use in making up a story here...Last I heard, they've been impersonating me throughout the city, buying books, annoying booksellers and generally engaging in raucous activity.
...You know, I think I'm just jealous cause it sounded like they were having fun...and I was left sans discount card, and dealing with crying Lil'peoplus RunningAmoktheplace.
Glad you liked the book, bud. It must be heartwarming to know that when I see funny looking creatures on a children's book cover...I think of you.
-Arnoggin Kleinquicken
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Jan 02 '05
4:43 pm PST
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mfunky flumple: such a flanny (Reply to this comment)
by andym173
reading your review of this charming little book sorta makes me wish i'd bought it; i bet i could talk about it for at least 1000 more words than you did ;) sadly, i picked it up in the shop, only being attracted by gervais's name, saw what was inside, and put it down and slowly backed away before anyone recognized that i'd picked it up. i know i shouldn't be ashamed to be looking at anything gervais-related, but this seemed like a bit of an oddity. plus, a bit of a kid's thing.
so, this review begs several questions about the flanny(mal?) that is mfunk:
when will his obsession with gervais ever be sedated?
what will happen if his ego inflates any more than it already has?
are the rumours about his unorthodox mating habits really true?
cheers,
- andy
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Jan 02 '05
12:14 pm PST
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the fog creeps in on little cat feet: galumph! galumph! galumph! (Reply to this comment)
by voxpoptart
Hmph! This book - the cover illustration helpfully posted on its very own Epinions listing - sounds wonderful. I should buy it now, so my kids can grow up with it (kids love picture book), and so that i'll still have a couple years to check it out myself for any dangerous features they should avoid. Thanks for the tip!
cheers,
- Brian (voxpoppus pastris), an elusive member of the Block family possessing only arms, shoulder-blades, and a free-floating beard and sideburns in need of regular trimming. Geothermically unstable, this species has been known to flicker in and out of existence without warning, leading it to a frantic life typing mysterious "comments" written only to confirm, to its own temporary satisfaction, its current metaphysical "on" state.
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Jan 01 '05
12:24 am PST
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hey there... (Reply to this comment)
by sleeper54, in Books
..
How about a shorter link...?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3708144.stm
How about that humongous URL earlier made 'tiny-er':
http://tinyurl.com/4q7zq
...courtesy of tinyurl.com? Yeah, it really works.
Anyway . . .that's all I brought. None of the wit and elan that your comment threads are known for . . ..
...tom...
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Dec 30 '04
5:25 pm PST
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Flantastic! (Reply to this comment)
by disinclined
Mikus canadianus,
Oh sure, Flanimals are endearingly pathetic and live lives of bitter meaninglessness, but how can you really prefer an imaginary cartoon beast to the fluffy, chirping reality of Poubeans? You could spend your whole life inventing monsters for picture books, and never come close to attaining the furry adorableness that is a guinea pig.
If I could choose to be the creator of "The Office" or the inventor of guinea pigs, I think you know which one I'd pick, in a heartbeat. A trembling rodent's heartbeat, that is.
What kind of pun can you possibly make with "Gervais"? I racked my brain, but there was nothing. I blame the foul weather.
dissus poubeanicus
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Dec 30 '04
2:52 pm PST
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Re: ... (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Chad (lemonus limicus)-
Animals, for example, has its moments. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0397612/?fr=c2l0ZT1kZnxteD0yMHxzZz0xfGxtPTIwMHx0dD1vbnxwbj0wfHE9cmlja3kgZ2VydmFpc3xodG1sPTF8bm09b24_;fc=2;ft=3;fm=1)
Why in the holy hell is that IMDb link so long? I thought you were sending me the secret NORAD codes or something. Damn, now I wish I had the secret NORAD codes. Blow me up something good.
Gervais is gonna guest star on Arrested Development! Apparently, it's one of his favorite shows...and it was just announced that he is going to write an ENTIRE episode of the Simpsons for Matt Groenig!
Any time you have news this incredible, feel free to dump it anywhere I can see it. Thanks for thinking of me (or, rather, thanks for using me as an excuse to shout about this news to the heavens).
Honestly, does one man get cooler than that?
You know, I was watching my new "Simpsons: Season 4" DVD, just this morning, and I had almost this very same thought about Conan O'Brien and his dreamy career. How can you beat going from editor of the Harvard Lampoon (twice!) to SNL to "The Simpsons" to replacing David Letterman (granted I'd love to snip out his first few years) to following Johnny Carson behind the "Tonight Show" desk (Jay who?)? It's been a fine ride, don't you think? I'd take that over "The Office" and a guest spot on "AD" any day, thank you very much.
-mike
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Dec 30 '04
2:16 pm PST
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Re: Gervais (Reply to this comment)
by mfunk75
Baron-
Gervais rocks as both actor and writer of the office and publisher of this, however, avoid his stand up material its too cringe worthy to sit through.
I would agree with you except that its common knowledge that I am a rabid Gervais fan, and, with this, my appetite for Gervais and everthing hes ever done is bigger than its ever been, though thanks for your comment.
-mike
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Dec 30 '04
2:10 pm PST
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... (Reply to this comment)
by lemon_lime
Actually, I rather liked some of his stand-up stuff...
Animals, for example, has its moments. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0397612/?fr=c2l0ZT1kZnxteD0yMHxzZz0xfGxtPTIwMHx0dD1vbnxwbj0wfHE9cmlja3kgZ2VydmFpc3xodG1sPTF8bm09b24_;fc=2;ft=3;fm=1)
In addition, Mike, I've decided to dump more Gervais knowledge here in your comment section - mainly because I have nowhere else to do it, but am so excited by the news....Gervais is gonna guest star on Arrested Development! Apparently, it's one of his favorite shows...and it was just announced that he is going to write an ENTIRE episode of the Simpsons for Matt Groenig!
Honestly, does one man get cooler than that?
I think not.
Cheers,
Chad.
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Dec 30 '04
1:11 pm PST
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Gervais (Reply to this comment)
by barongreenback
Gervais rocks as both actor and writer of the office and publisher of this, however, avoid his stand up material its too cringe worthy to sit through.
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Dec 30 '04
12:32 pm PST
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