I must confess that before going to see this, the only other film I’d seen in either series is the original Nightmare On Elm St. My mate & I were going to grab the original Friday the 13th and a sequel or two in each series, in order to prepare ourselves, sort of get clued in as to who these killers were and why they killed. However, the horror section at the local video store only had a couple of Jason movies left (must’ve been the hype) and we were after the original to get the background story, so we didn’t bother. Instead we went into Freddy vs Jason pretty much blind.

However, that didn’t turn out to matter. Narrated at the start by Freddy (Robert Englund) himself, we learn the backstory to Nightmare On Elm St, which in itself could make a pretty good prequel. The Springwood Slasher. You heard it here first – anyone makes that movie, I want royalties. Anyway, you’re told the backstory to Nightmare. As for Friday, that story comes later on in the movie Freddy vs Jason (referred to from now on as FVJ) care of Jason’s nightmares.

To be honest, I can’t fault this movie on anything. I wouldn’t call it perfect, cos it ain’t gonna appeal to everyone, but if ever there was a movie worthy of my 5 star rating, this is it.

THE BASIC PLOT

Elm St has forgotten Freddy Krueger. Those children that do remember have been sent to a mental institute who are giving them drugs to stop them dreaming. With everyone either having forgotten about him or unable to dream, Freddy’s been rendered powerless.

”Being dead I could handle, but being forgotten – now that’s a b*tch!” - Freddy.

Freddy must now find a way to make Elm St remember him & therefore fear him, to give him his power back. So in the depths of hell he discovers Jason Voorhees (Ken Kirzinger). Sending Jason to Elm St, Freddy bides his time & waits for Elm St to blame the murders on him, thus remembering about him & fearing him.

As far as Freddy’s concerned, all is going well until he spots the flaw in his plan – Jason can’t stop killing. Before long, Freddy’s powerful enough to come & attempt to reclaim Elm St & its mono on mono, with a group of kids caught in the middle.

Y’see, Freddy’s kinda possessive & considers Elm St his territory, so once he’s powerful enough, Freddy takes over some kids body (the kid looks like a younger version of Jay from the Jay & Silent Bob movies) and injects Jason with tranquilizer. Jason goes to sleep and starts dreaming, giving Freddy home field advantage. It’s not that easy though – Jason puts up a good fight in dreamland, enough to keep him alive at least long enough for the kids to take action.

By this time, Elm St has realised that they’ve got two monsters to deal with and panic has ensued, especially after Jason crashed a party. The group of kids, who feature a couple of escapees from the mental institute, along with Kia (Kelly Rowland) and Lori (Monica Keena) figure that if Jason can defeat Freddy it’ll all be over. They grab as much tranq as they can, load Jason into the van and head to Camp Crystal Lake to give Jason the advantage.

So from our group of kids, who survives and who becomes fodder for our killers? If you actually care, think about the rules for surviving horror movies spelled out for us by Randy in Scream.

1. Virgins are safe. Everyone else is fair game.
2. Don’t drink or do drugs.
3. Never, ever, under any circumstances say anything along the lines of “I’ll be right back”.

I’d add a 4th rule too – never make fun of the killers. Randy did it in Scream 2, someone does it here, and neither of them survived.

So while Jason’s under, one of the kids volunteers to go to sleep and bring Freddy out of the dreamworld. Now we’re all on Jason’s home turf and its time for what I’d call one of the biggest and most highly anticipated battles of cinema history. With that, it’s time for me to stop telling you about the plot and actually start reviewing this movie.

Normally what I’d do around here is break the movie down into the parts I liked and the parts I didn’t like. However, that only works when I’ve got stuff to put under both sections. This is the first movie I’ve seen where I can honestly say I loved every minute of it.

The plot, while taking its time to get to the final battle, kept me entertained throughout. It fit the basic premise for the movie well, explained aspects without boring me like Morpheus did in The Matrix and constantly had me on my toes waiting for the next victim.

While this is in no way a comedy, it does have its share of funny moments, provided by Freddy’s one-liners, stupid teens who party, and some of Jason’s battle techniques.

Would you believe Destiny’s Child’s Kelly Rowland can actually act? I didn’t have a lot of hope for her but she surprised me. If she could tap into the effort she uses here and used it in her singing career, she might be halfway decent there too.

As far as the rest of the acting goes, Robert Englund & Ken Kirzinger are brilliant as the title characters. I found Jason to be more scary than Freddy, but it’s not the acting that did that. It was due to Jason’s sheer size, and the fact he doesn’t say anything or take off the hockey mask. Plus he appeared, without you hearing him coming.

Monica Keena as Lori puts on a solid performance throughout. My favourite performance has to go to the Jay character, who’s name I can’t remember. I love Jay & Silent Bob so this guy was particularly fun to watch.

A film like FVJ usually wouldn’t be known for its acting, but this proves that even a slasher flick can get that right. Even Jason becomes a likeable character. My money was on him from the beginning and I rooted for him more & more as the movie went on. I didn’t like Freddy as much, mainly because I see him as just plain evil, but this in turn is a good thing because every movie needs a character to hate.

COMPLAINTS OTHER PEOPLE HAVE MADE

“It’s too gory”

Well yes, there’s a lot of blood, guts and all round gore, but when combining two giants of the horror genre, what did you expect?

”Kane Hodder, who’s played Jason since the sixth or seventh, got the boot in favour of Ken Kirzinger, who hasn’t played Jason before”

This being the first Jason film I’ve seen, I can’t really compare, but Kirzinger is freakin’ scary as the big guy in the hockey mask, so stop ya whining.

”Monica Keena must’ve had a boob job, which would explain why she was cast cos she sure as hell can’t act”

Yes, she has big tits. Look up a bit mate, she has an attractive face as well. Does that mean she’s had plastic surgery there too? It’s possible for girls to be naturally beautiful ya know. She does a good job of acting too so just get over it – or do you want a Jason film without T&A?

IN CLOSING

This is without a doubt the best film I’ve seen in a long time. Critics will undoubtedly pan it because they hate slasher movies as a general rule, but this is a masterpiece.

It’s not recommended for younger viewers. I think it’s got an R16 rating, which suits it. FVJ is violent, has gore and some bad language, but personally, I welcome all that.

Recommended: Yes