I grab the car keys, the purse, the printout of the mother in law's gardening advice (the woman has the Midas touch with plants), the honey and the honey's Home Depot card and strike off to see what the first blooming plants are this year, for I've decided I must have color. It's been drab for too darn long. High hopes (mine) and trepidation (honey's) abound as we pull into the Home Depot parking lot... right at the same time as the other 4,000 home owners who had the same brilliant idea to "start early" and "beat the crowds".

No worries, I'm feeling practically effervescent with joy at the change back to what I think of as the "right" time (DST should be the time all year, I swear) and the "right" weather (sunny and clear). And so enters the novice gardener into the bright lights, big city of Home Depot's Garden Center. I wander the aisles for a good hour, minimum, while honey keeps thrusting any plant with a flower on it at me in hopes of attaining his own goal of Getting The Heck Out Of Here Fast.

We finally reach agreement on a handful of blooms to start our beds (we have been advised to hit the garden centers once every three weeks or so all Spring and part of Summer and gradually fill in our perennial beds all season, apparently leading to a fantastic recurring garden next year, but leaving some bare spots this year while we fill it all in), some ground covers, a few herbs to start, and some decorative pots and other things, when I remember I needed bug spray and dash back into the store.

Returning to the cart I notice honey has added a massive amount of non crimping garden hose (manly item) and something called The Garden Claw Gold (girly item, but sharp and pointy - I decide it has potential, whatever it may be for). Not being an infomercial kind of girl, I ask "Whatever may that be for?" Honey informs me it is the must-have garden tool of the season, and it means I won't have to work so hard to do all that crab crass removal on my hands and knees. Works for me.

We get the items home, and I immediately dig in to the bed I've decided to create (Or rather, re-create. We neglected the yard beyond simple mowing last year - this bed was overtaken by some kind of infernally insidious bristly grass and then ransacked by The Plow Guy all winter. Can't be mad though - not like over 100 inches of snow in a season is easy to store while it melts, ya gotta put it somewhere...). I start by redefining the border, then decide to grab my new "toy", er, I mean tool, and have at it. Not so fast! It requires assembly. Of course. So, after assembling my new "toy", er, I mean tool, which luckily involved no rocket science and took approximately 10 minutes (less time if I had remembered where I left the toolbox sooner), I prepared to dig in.

This thing is incredibly easy to use. It looks demented, with it's gold handles going two opposing directions, it's blue metal shaft, and it's gleaming gold prongs. However; it is by far the best gardening tool I used all day. You simply stand, grab the handles, jab the pointy end down in the dirt and weeds (or in my case, grass), and use your arms - one pushing, one pulling - to twist while you push down on the Garden Claw. You repeat until you have aerated your soil, or loosened your weeds to remove, etc. You can twist either way (and in fact I found going both directions alternately quite helpful in dislodging stubborn clay clumps and small rocks).

The most exciting thing about the Garden Claw experience by far were the unexpected side benefits. Sure, it helps loosen the soil, gets rid of unwanted weeds and grass, loosens bulbs for relocation, grabs small rocks buried just underground, etc. It's even light weight so you don't have to be able to perform human forklift duty to pick it up. Best of all - it gives your granny flap and love handle areas a fantastic workout!

Don't pretend you don't know what granny flaps are, ladies - that part of the upper arm, right on the back side and slightly under, that starts to, um, well, flap as we get older.... and all of us know what a love handle is. Imagine what using this tool every day could do for toning those areas! It would be incredible! The burn you feel after two hours of enthusiastic Garden Clawing makes for a deliciously intense upper body workout that I highly recommend, not to mention the psychological benefit gained from constructive destruction of unsuspecting dirt and weeds.

I rate the Garden Claw Gold "Two Prongs Up!" and say it is a must have for any beginning gardener (or heck, even all the die hard gardeners out there who are still trying to wrap their minds around the mental image of all those arm-flapping aerators right now).

Cost: Under $40

Ease of Use: Very Easy

Assembly Required? Yes

Recommended:
Yes