Getting To Know You

Mar 17, 2004
Review by  
Rated a Very Helpful Review

Pros:small size & open ended questions. Price.

Cons:not what I was expecting!

The Bottom Line: 365 questions (kind of like those sent in getting to know you emails but not as deep)

I was searching for a fun relationship enhancing book that could be used with close friends or significant others. I searched and found Getting To Know You. It seemed like it would be exactly what I was looking for.

I run a yahoo group of married couples that is for fun, entertainment, friendship and discussion. It is aimed at keeping the fire going in a marriage and I had hoped that I could use the questions in this book to learn more about members of the group as well as allowing those members to rediscover their significant other. The idea was that we would be able to learn more about our loved ones.

I found a used copy of Getting To Know You for only $4.50 on (list price is $6.95) and after reading consumer reviews of this book on the site I couldn't pass it up. One consumer from the site had said she and her husband of 8 years had really enjoyed emailing each other with the answers to questions found within Getting To Know You. She even said it had helped them to develop a closer relationship by sharing these question and answer sessions. All the member reviews on were positive. At that time there were no reviews of this book on epinions.

When I got the book in the mail I was excited to begin using it. I liked the fact that the book was small (.47 x 4.42 x 6.04 inches) which made it easy to use and store at my desk. I read the introduction and that made me more interested. I was encouraged by the fact that Getting To Know You was written by a couple.

I was ready to start emailing questions to my group. I had hoped to get a years worth of use out of this book by sending one question a day to the group for discussion. I turned to the first question and was a bit disappointed. "Who makes you laugh more than anyone in the world?" was the question I saw. This book had been described as a tool to get to know someone better, not to begin to know someone. I had been led to believe that these questions would delve into the deeply personal beliefs of those in my group thus allowing a better insight into each others thoughts and feelings. The people in my yahoo group had been members for more than a year. This is the type of thing people can use very early in a relationship but if you have been with someone for more than a year then you probably already know the answer to this type of question. I was sure that the questions must become more penetrating as the book went on so I flipped through to find a more appropriate question to share with my group.

By question number 11 I found something semi interesting. "If money were no object what would you choose for a profession?". I still didn't feel like this question was what I had been hoping for but it was better than the first one. I did feel like it might help members of the group get to know each other a little better even if it really wouldn't help the couples gain much insight about each other. After all, most couples already know about each other's dream jobs.

Most of the questions were similar. They would be useful if you had just met a person but were less interesting among people who were already familiar. If I hadn't expected this book to be a guide to deep conversations between a married couple then I might not have been so disappointed with it. But I had been led to believe it was something more than it actually turned out to be.

Example Questions
19. "Have you ever been on TV? Do you want to be?"
40. "What is the most difficult paycheck you ever earned?"
43. "What's the closest you've come to dying? Did the experience change your way of living?"

While this book was not what I had expected it still seems to have some usefulness. This would be a good book for a couple or a group of people who are just becoming acquainted with each other. It might also serve as a tool for those with writers block who are looking for a subject to write about.

Getting To Know You is not something that can be used to get closer to a loved one or discover a new side to your spouse. Most married couples already know the answers to the questions in this book.

Getting To Know You is easy to read and understand. It offers 365 questions to discuss with someone in order to get to know them. The questions are fairly open ended allowing for personal discussion. Even though it wasn't acceptable for my purpose I would recommend the book to others, as long as they weren't expecting something with deep introspective questions. It isn't a bad book, it just isn't what I was looking for. If it sounds like something you might be interested in $6.95 isn't a bad price and you might find it to be less expensive on

Getting To Know You: 365 Questions, Activities, Observations and Ways to Get to Know Another Person Better
Jeanne McSweeney & Charles A Leocha
Published January 1998
by World Leisure
160 Page paperback
List Price $6.95
ISBN: 0915009307

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