I had heard so much about Grand Theft Auto: Vice City that I finally had to break down and get it with the extra $50 that was burning a hole in my pocket for so long. Whew, was that a long sentence or what?

Okay, here's some things to remember about my review:
- I'm 34, enjoy driving games and space shooters. I grew up playing Atari and Nintendo and have always loved video games.

That said, my review begins...

THE GOOD:
About the only thing I can think of that is really great about GTA: Vice City is the music. Having a choice of stations to listen to is something I haven't really seen since Sega's Outrun. But, the choice is sometimes odd. For example, running over prostitutes while listening to Toto's "Africa" is a kind of surrealism only found in some short French films.

The graphics are good, showing great detail. I particularly was impressed with the rainfall - looks very real.

THE BAD:
As far as gameplay goes, I'm still trying to figure out exactly what the hell I'm doing. Carjacking and beating up people is only fun for so long, then what? Drive your car into the water? Drive around in circles (which is something I've gotten really, really good at)? The instruction booklet tells little or nothing about the game; it's one of those "play it and find out what's going on for yourself" games.

Controls for shooting are really awkward. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten "wasted" during the challenge in which you have to kill 30 gang members. They run up on you and by the time you aim and fire, you're gone.

There's also other pointless challenges like the taxi, which reminded me of Simpsons' Road Rage and Crazy Taxi. Or you can try the ambulance challenge - whatever that is supposed to do.

Blood, blood and more blood. Kick that old lady until she's lying in a puddle of it. Slash the grocery store clerk's neck with a machete and run away. Blow the head off of a gang member. Yeah, it's only a video game but wow...

Earning money is, at least to me, practically impossible. I have yet to figure out how to earn a decent amount. I mean I've beat up a few people for some money but guns cost a little more than $50.

Vice City is also the home of the most STUPID cops in the video game world. If they were maybe 1/10 as aggressive as those found in games like Driver 2, it would make the game a lot more interesting.

All in all, this game obviously earned it's popularity with the late teen, early 20's crowd who grew up playing gory games like Mortal Kombat. Back in my day, the bloodiest game we had was NARC.

I just don't get GTA: Vice City.

This'll learn me. I should have rented it first.

Recommended: No