sleestakk's Full Review: Guilty Pleasures by Quiet Riot
Regarding the recent resurgence of 80's heavy metal making a grand comeback in the zeros, I’m left with mixed feelings. Sure, I'm lovin' having these hair metal bands back on the scene satisfying the hunger of fans not down with the onslaught of nu-metal (that would be me). But the other side of it is the bands well past their born-on date thinkin' their still relevant. And that brings me to the latest release by Quiet Riot called Guilty Pleasures.
The fact that original members from their multi-platinum major league debut came together to record a new album is honorable and a feat in itself (Kevin Dubrow, Rudy Sarzo, Carlos Cavazo, and Frankie Banali). But let's make one thing clear; these four guys stopped making decent music after said debut back in '83. Actually I could take that one step farther and say that QR stopped making music after Randy Rhoads left the nest for the Ozzy Osbourne band back in 1980. And all the line-up changes between now and then didn't help matters as one dismal effort followed the next.
Maybe the problem with QR is that they never left the scene even during its darkest moments throughout most of the 90's. Had they discontinued or broke up then made their royal re-entrance ten years later like many of their peers, I might be more enthusiastic about QR these days. And I might have even gone out of my way to see them live again. But knowing the band has been giggin' roller rinks and county fairs from Bangor to Boise all these years while their compatriots were kickin' it in the Hollywood Hills waiting for the right time makes the whole concept of Quiet Riot seem less desirable. To me anyways.
Sure, sure... there's something to be said about the band that sticks together and keeps chuggin' away in the face adversity as alt.rock throws another shovel of dirt in the hair metal grave. So you've earned my respect but what does it matter if I think your music sucks? When I heard the four members that graced the back cover of Metal Health were together in the studio working on a new project for 2001, I was mildly curious. But not overly excited. Thankfully I didn't have high expectations because Guilty Pleasures might be worse than Conditional Critical. And that record was an aberration.
So here we've reached the area where it's common practice to discuss the tracks. Ugh. Must I? Well, since I continue to pray at the altar of the Epinions Gods and worship the combination of the letters "V" and "H" I will bend over and fulfill the requirements. Please note that I will admonish myself later and sit in the corner with this CD on repeat. Prisoners in federal lockup have a better sentence.
Probably the first thing that tipped me off about the quality of this album was the $7.99 price tag at Rolling Stone Records. When the onsale discs normally run between 11 and 13 bucks, pricing a new release at eight dollars is never a good sign. In most cases, anyway, but not all, of course. Yet I'm wary when I see the "it's so cheap, just buy it" pricepoint. "If the album is good, why is it priced as a cost-saver when it was just released?" is the thought that courses through my mind. Nothing like QR proving me right again.
For a disc with notable attributes (original cast), they really dropped a clunker with "Vicious Circle" in opening slot. Everything about this tune just feels tired and rehashed. Ok, Kevin, we got it... "In a vicious circle/we go round, round, round." I'm guessing the boys wanted to set the appropriate mood with such a lifeless track. Oddly, "Feel The Pain" has more of W.A.S.P.-ish style to it, esp. in Carlos' guitar sound. Put Blackie Lawless on vocals and this one might have been on the Winged Assassin's return to old school effort Unholy Terror it's that similar. Still doesn't make it good.
Oh, no. QR has copped Twisted Sister's drumbeat from "We're Not Gonna Take It" on the intro to "Rock The House"... what the hell is going on? The happy-go-lucky melody "hey everybody, you rock the house/rock rock rock" represents everything wrong with mid-80's pop made in the double O's. If I owned a firearm, I'd shoot this song. And "Shadow Of Love" that follows is no pick me up with a rhythm that was last seen exiled to Hard Rock Hits of the 80's comp collections.
Naturally, any shitty Quiet Riot record wouldn't be complete without the obligatory power ballad, and the quartet doesn't disappoint in "I Can't Make You Love Me" with DuBrow's pathetic pleas during the chorus. This tune is depressing not because of losing the love of another, but rather because it makes me not want to listen to hair metal ever again. And that's a sad thought, friends. When "Feed The Machine" rings in, it dawns on me that this record is almost as creative as a baboon with a banjo. But the baboon will win that contest every time.
Usually title tracks (when bands do them) are one of the impact tunes, otherwise why name the record the same, or vice versa? But by the time "Guilty Pleasures" reaches the bridge, I've already lost whatever inkling of hope I had for this disc to be any good. The song even has this bizarre prog feel to main groove which throws me off totally because QR can't even get staple rock riffs right. Here they stray and create another mess.
With a title like "Blast From The Past" from a band that expired almost 20 years ago, you already know what's coming before hearing it. Sheesh. Could they really be this happy reciting, "blast, blast... blast from the past" over and over? Someone needs to clue them in on how embarrassing they are with crap like this. Oops. Spoke to soon. "Let Me Be The One" balances the ballad quota for the second half of the album. Two listens and a cup of warm milk… you'll be out like a baby.
Whoa, QR finally cuts loose in "Street Fighter" the only bona fide rocker on the album. Then the chorus crashes and burns the song into a fiery death after which the soul transcends the heavens where all pop metal songs that never realize their potential go. Yeah, it's crowded up there. Ok, no fair. QR ends the CD with yet another venture of slow song sap. What gives? "Fly Too High" sounds like "Thunderbird" revisited. But the emotion is cold. Will you be mad if I smash this disc?
Is there anything good about this album? Hmmm. That's a toughie. I will say that these aged musicians still have their chops intact despite the poor songwriting abilities of Kevin DuBrow. Carlos does have a few moments where he lights the strings on fire and Frankie's drums still thump like big rokken drums should. But DuBrow still sounds like a cartoon character hoodwinked by Bugs Bunny for the fifth time in the same episode.
Honestly, there ain't much good to say about Guilty Pleasures and I'm torn because I really wanted a decent record from the band. Something that would make me wanna see them again in a live setting. Alas, it was not meant to be. Maybe they'll get the hint, close shop, and make a comeback in '11. Somehow, I doubt that. Gah!
Jeers!
Track Listing:
1. Vicious Circle
2. Feel The Pain
3. Rock The House
4. Shadow Of Love
5. I Can't Make You Love Me
6. Feed The Machine
7. Guilty Pleasures
8. Blast From The Past
9. Let Me Be The One
10. Street Fighter
11. Fly Too High
Great Music to Play While: Uh, what's great about this?
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