To love, you must learn how to lose...
Written: Jul 02 '01
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Product Rating:
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Pros: A beautifully written book that breaks down an eloquent verbal art in finer points.
Cons: None which has a direct impact on the quality of the book.
The Bottom Line: It is highly inspirational and shows that any common figure can be stand his/her own ground, and deliver winning arguments.
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| msposner's Full Review: How to Argue and Win Every Time Books |
It has been a lengthy period of time since I last read a book that drew my attention and held it for the duration of its entirity.
Gerry Spence's approach to the art of the 'argument' is quite philosophical- he speaks of reaching out to that person, creating a genesis of connectivity between the listener and the speaker. He speaks of empowering the other individual. Empower them to make a decision- according to him, most bad decisions are caused by the fact individuals are under the impression that they are without choices.
In another realm of topics, Spence also argues that children are more truthful, more open, and therefore have a better sense of creditibility than most adult do. They will tell you, bluntly, when they are hungry, when they are sad, and when they want something. One might argue that it is because children has a sense of dependency but as adults, we also depend on others for emotions such as reassurance, reinforcement, affection, attention, etc.
He questions the loss of innocence in human beings. He questions the reasons why as children enter adulthood, they become more reserved with their emotions. Why is that adults have a tendency to be silent with their emotions- for instance, why are children more open to cry when they are upset? Why are adults more likely to hold everything in, only to end up lashing their anger unintentionally on their loved one?
The main premise of Spence's approach to giving a solid, winning argument is that it must come from the heart. It does not necessarily have to be brimming with ten-lettered words designed to put the SAT to shame. It does not necessarily have to be given by a charming, handsome male who is considered as the most eloquent orator to ever walk on the face of the earth. It does not necessary have to be spoken in the same vernacular as a Gaelic dialect, but stripping an argument of all its elements, the most important thing is that it comes straight from the heart where the words are simply flowing as if it was a halo blue, lucid stream.
Not only does Spence writes about how to unlock that ability- to be able to speak straight from the heart, but he also reinforces the principle of keeping your arguments simple, your points concise, and your voice the output of your raw emotions.
His points are further justified by examples of actual arguments that he made during his highly successful career as an attorney. There are entertaining stories of how he was able to defend his clients as well as himself by speaking only on the truthfulness of his own feelings, as opposed to presenting a mundane, overly-rehearsed statements.
In all, this book isn't necessarily for lawyers looking to make that final statement worthy to be implemented in an episode of 'The Practice' but it provides a source of inspiration for everyone. It teaches that the genesis for not only the best argument but for the best approach to anything in life is hardly a tangent of anything - it is simply the art of being rational. By being rational, conscious of your words, and empowering the other person, you have mastered the keys of what it takes to deliver a winning argument.
"I have learned more from my dogs than all the great books that I've read in the past." - Gerry Spence
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
msposner
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Member: Michael Posner
Location: Washington, DC / College Park, MD
Reviews written: 104
Trusted by: 68 members
About Me:
I think your woman is great in bed.
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