Oh, Vanessa Hudgens. Her name will forever be associated with embarrassing nude pictures as well as the slightly more embarrassing affiliation with High School Musical, quite possibly the worst portrayal of the American public education system since Nickelodeon's Taina. So, she's a singer/actress. Nothing very out of the ordinary there. Following in Raven Symone's mediocre footsteps, Vanessa Hudgens laid down a bunch of mediocre songs for her sophomore album Identified. There's a lot of irony in that title, because I can identify everybody else's style on this record except for her own. We've got the token Britney song, the token Miley song, the token Fergie song. I dunno how Vanessa plays into this hodge-podge, but it's not as strong as the lead-off single hinted.

That fact that this is Vanessa's sophomoric album makes sense because it's very juvenile. Considering she's a Disney star, one would assume that such a thing is forgive-able. Well, I don't think so. Unlike fellow Disney star Miley Cyrus (who is a tragedy waiting to happen), I think that Ms. Hudgens has talent. I've never seen her act, but I think she can actually sing. That said, her voice rarely shines through all the sound effects and overproduction. There seems to be a common trend amongst teeny-bopper pop stars to try their hand at doing an electronic-inspired album. Is that the trend nowadays? I'm sorry, ladies, but none of you have been able to pull off something as slick as Kylie Minogue's X or Madonna's Confessions on a Dance Floor.

This record starts off on the worst note imaginable. Not only is Vanessa's voice flat and awkward, but the melody of this track, Last Night, just doesn't work-- even through the uninspired Lumidee-production that never makes for a good time. It's another one of those songs that tries to almost be an anthem but falls way short of that level. Then we get the faux-electrobubblegumpop title-track, of which sounds like a Britney Spears songs on steroids and without the staying power. And that's sad. That said, the verses are catchy-- too bad the chorus is flat and linear. And speaking of Ms. Spears, her stamp is all over Set It Off (though, I will admit that, despite the bad overproduction and voice effects, it's listenable).

As previously mentioned, every song is like a representation of a different artist. On Did It Ever Cross Your Mind, she is a carbon copy of Hillary Duff. Except without the charm. All things considered, it's not a terrible pop, but it doesn't have any real lasting qualities, and replay value is a little on the slim side. Party on the Moon is a mess. There's no other way around it. It sounds dated and like something you'd listen to in 5th grade. Regardless of the fact that she's a Disney star, this album gives glimpses of her trying to mature on her solo recordings, but songs like that aren't going to cut it. The one time I think she truly breaks through the sludge is the lead-off single Sneakernight, which is wholesome without being ridiculous-- so long as you avoid the Disney-inspired "house party." The song is a blend of 1990s hip hop with a 2008 sensibility, and I fully enjoy it. Never thought I'd write that one for the record. I think that's one for the books. It's also a rare glimpse into what she could be: someone with a soulful, mature energy.

Basically, what we're gonna do is DANCE!

Then we just get songs that are downright bad with no hope for redemption, and I prime choice is Hook It Up. Wow. Just wow. I don't know who decided that this song was ready for an album, but I hope whoever it was is now serving fries at McDonald's for 5.50 an hour. It starts out with an embarrassing collage of an urban crowd saying lame phrases like "Ohh what's up Vanessa? Nessa!" And speaking of "Nessa," she sounds like crap. This must be her take on Flo-Rida's abysmal music mixed with a little bit of Gwen Stefani schizophrenia, because she sounds nasally and lame. You got the money money, she got the hottie-body, we wanna party party-- hook it on up! That obnoxious chorus (who does she think she is again?) is played over a bad Euro-beat inspired sound effect that even the gay club crowds would boo her Disney-butt off the stage.

And I will not allow myself to finish this review without dropping Miley's name. First Bad Habit starts out mediocre at best, failing into the same catchy-verse/bad-chorus trap as Identified. That and it's just a generic song that I would expect out of the talentless Ms. Cyrus. Not that I really had hopes for this album per-say, but I thought that it was a lot more enjoyable than this. The wrong material, the wrong production, the right voice. Cut the bull, Vanessa, and try again, because this just isn't working.

Tracklist
Last Night
Identified
First Bad Habit
Hook It Up
Don't Ask Why
Sneakernight
Amazed
Don't Leave
Paper Cut
Party on the Moon
Did It Ever Cross Your Mind
Gone With the Wind
Set It Off
Committed
Vulnerable

The top: Speakernight, Did It Ever Cross Your Mind, Set It Off
The rest: Everything else.
The ugly: Hook It Up

Recommended: No