Ok, so my daughter needed a new set of headphones for her ipod . Mind you, my daughter is 18, and at that age, most kids just don’t know that you usually get what you pay for in life. No, instead, she was attracted by the things teenagers usually are attracted by: first, the flashy packaging. Yes, the keen bubble wrap and bright glossy colors had her at the get go like a swooping crow pouncing on a flashy piece of tin foil reflecting brightly in the beaming afternoon sun. The brightly colored phones only added to the attraction.

Once they lured her with that, the price reeled her in hook, line, and sinker at just $9.99. Thinking myself more wizened in my old age (as teenagers reckon it anyway, 43 is pre-historic), I tried to reason with her: headphones should be bought based on what they sound like, not what they look like.

That was my mistake. Telling a teenager what not to buy is a sure way to get them to buy it, and so she did. That being the case, I decided to try them out myself to see what they sounded like. And, of course, my suspicions were correct. These headphones sounded dreadfully flat.

First off, it should be noted that any of the Gumy headphones (they come in a variety of colors) are not at all suitable for exercise: they will, as most of this style of in ear phones do, fall out when you start to sweat or at times simply from physical motion.

But really, they don’t sound all that great either. The bass is weak and unrealistic to say the least, and the treble is equally bland and boring. While they may be suitable for staticy AM broadcasts, I don’t see them as up to the task that most of today’s portable audio players present.

Then too, durability is a problem. Jessica’s set lasted a few short months before the left headphone disintegrated. The earpiece cap fell off, the insides leaked out, wires ran all over the place, and civilization as we know it almost came to an end. In short, she was reduced to monaural audio, a condition not known since the forties as we now reckon time.

AKA the days she thinks I grew up in.

Based on our experience, I cannot in good faith recommend these headphones. For about five bucks more, you’re much better off with a set of the amazing Philips HE-592s or, if you need to block out external noise, the SHE-9500s . A pair of Skullcandy Smokin' Buds will do that for you too. Whatever you do, though, don’t get stuck with a pair of Gumys.


Recommended: No