Like burned lips and the smell of cheap air freshener? Try Jane Glossy Gloss.
Written: Dec 15 '03 (Updated Dec 16 '03)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Cheap. Low calorie. Nice package.
Cons: Stinks, burns, and feels like chunky wax.
The Bottom Line: Might be the perfect stocking stuffer for someone you really dislike.
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| scenery's Full Review: Jane MegaBites Glossy Gloss |
I have a problem with drugstores. I fall for the impulse buy every time. Note to retailers, "Throw some cheap crap in a sale bin right next to the register, and chances are I'll buy some!" Usually I wind up with something fairly harmless, like a little bag of out-of-season candy (Christmas M&Ms in June? Cool!) or some oddly flavored no-name gum that stains my teeth and tongue smurf-blue (fun!), but this time I had the misfortune of purchasing some Jane Megabites Glossy Gloss.
They looked all sweet and innocent heaped in that sale bin. Little plastic tubes chock full o'sparkly colors. My inner impulse-buyer took over, and I just had to have one. I choose a shade called "So L.A.," a brightish rose swirled with groovy golden shimmer.
Now, I guess I should have been clued-in by the name. This stuff is lip gloss, yet, it is called "glossy gloss." Oh, the redundancy! C'mon, try it with some other words. oily oil, greasy grease, creamy cream, fluffy fluff...
The truth is that glossy gloss burny burned my lips and smelled like cheapy cheap public bathroom air "freshener" stinky stink. (I'll stop now) Seriously, this gloss had a thick greasy-waxy texture and seemed to form uneven chunks of color on my lips. (Note to skeptics: don't go blaming my lips, please. I exfoliate and moisturize them regularly like a good little beauty junkie should--So it had to have been the gloss's fault.)
Aside from the chunks, the coverage was much thicker than most glosses, more like a lipstick. I don't know about you, but if I bother smearing something slippery on my lips, I expect a nice shine. Glossy-gloss just wasn't glossy. I would compare the shine factor to that of a "satin" finish lipstick with a little old-school (read, coarse and gritty) gold frost thrown in. The effect was a downright unfortunate-looking gold-laced pink. With chunks.
Another thing I couldn't help noticing was the horrid stench of it directly beneath my nose. What I think the Jane brand was going for was sickly sweet synthetic strawberry, which might've been bearable. What I smelled was something like crayons, burnt rubber, and a yucky chemical/flowery sweetness that just wouldn't fade.
Before I had the chance to wipe off the glossy-gloss, I noticed my lips were burning, and not just a little bit. They burned like I had doused them with hot Mexican green sauce. So, unfortunately I cannot tell you about the staying power, because I had to scrape it off within a half hour of application. I can tell you that the burn lasted for a couple of hours, and the next day, my lips were dry and peeling.
The Dreaded Obligatory Packaging Information
Here is where I can say something nice about Jane Megabites Glossy Gloss. I'm quite fond of the clear plastic squeezy tube packaging, the perfectly slanted tip, and the hole in the end which squirts forth the perfect dollop of nasty gloss with utmost efficiency. For those dying to know, the black cap is a fully functional screw-on.
I can't give you an ingredients list either, but from the way this stuff burned, I imagine it contains something very, very irritating--like habanero peppers.
I know that others really enjoy Jane Glossy-Gloss, so perhaps I selected a bad color/flavor. Or, perhaps my tube had been stashed in the stock room for a year (or three) and the ingredients had broken down...Or maybe I'm just sensitive...And picky...and okay, I'll confess; spoiled by my shiny, silky-smooth, 20 dollars-a-tube Nars. But I'll never know because the burn and smell were so horrible that I won't try it again.
Even at three dollars, this product was a complete rip-off. From now on, I'll beware of the bargain bin, especially when it comes to makeup.
Recommended:
No
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Epinions.com ID:
scenery
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Reviews written: 25
Trusted by: 65 members
About Me:
Wading through potty reviews...
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