Wacky: 1. Eccentric or irrational, 2. Crazy; silly

In an effort to find a "wacky" book to review for fellow Epinionator rkingfish's "Let's Go Database Diving" Write-Off, I stumbled across The Jerk With The Cell Phone: A Survival Guide For The Rest Of Us.

Was It Wacky?
Some of the incredible things people do while talking on their cell phones were given in short paragraph form. From the woman so intent on her cell phone conversation that she left her child behind on a city bus to a man describing his latest sexual encounter while riding on a full subway car...certainly some of them were "wacky."

The 5 types of commuting cell-phone jerks described in this book include:
1. Love-Life Lothario - self descriptive

2. Minute-by-Minute Mario = "Hi, hon...I'm about 15 minutes from home"..."Hi again hon, only 5 minutes out"..."It's me hon, we just pulled into the station."

3. Non-stop Nora - The woman sitting next to you on a train or bus that does not need to breath, as long as she can talk on her cell phone non-stop.

4. Loose Lipped Larry - The man who gives out all information, including home phone numbers and business secrets within ear shot of you and anyone else in a 100 yard radius.

5. Annoying Airline Annie - the woman sitting next to you that frantically makes phone calls to anyone she can think of as if "she's leaving for outer space and not coming back for 7 years."

The Jerk With The Cell Phone: A Survival Guide For The Rest Of Us, also, has chapters on jerks in audiences, restaurants, in cars and another for the "the rest of the jerks".

While I enjoyed most of the stories about jerks and their cell phones, what I had been looking forward to was amusing ways to deal with them. Barbara Pachter set the tone and wrote the book with the help of Susan Magee. IN the foreword, Barbara admits that Susan isn't always polite. Maybe she should have written the book. Barbara is an etiquette expert...and she wants us to be polite about dealing with cell-phone jerks.

That guy talking on the phone next to you in the movie theater? Let him know, politely, that you can hear his conversation. If he doesn't hang up or leave...move to another seat or get the manager. That's it, I'm going to "polite them to death." (I just made that phrase up, I hope sleeper54 duly notes that I am now slapping a trademark on it)

Worse than just being polite...we are to hand out CPEG's. What the heck are CPEG's? It is Cell Phone Etiquette Guidelines. Business type cards that have sayings like "I'm sure you don't realize you're speaking very loudly. Could you please lower your voice?" and "Hi, Can you please put your phone on vibrate? The ringing is disturbing us." While that is polite...I don't see it being very effective. At the most I see a lot of littering going on. I guess it would create jobs...anyone want to apply for a CPEG sweeper position?

Barbara Pachter does note that not all cell phone users are jerks and even in some instances what could be considered jerk-like behavior is acceptable. For instance, at a restaurant a cell phone rings and the person on the other end is a significant other serving in the armed forces.

Polite Rate?
No way. Even with writing about polite ways to deal with the types of cell-phone jerks, Barbara could have been more humorous...much more. Unbelievable and funny cell-phone jerk stories were negated by the sad attempt at polite humor in dealing with them. I had so much hope for this book when I saw the title. Who knew it would be a book on etiquette? Not me!

I will be polite the first time in requesting a cell-phone user to be more considerate...after that it's anyones guess what will happen. I may get my butt kicked and hospitalized...but that dang cell-phone jerk will know I thought he was rude.

Recommended: No