What's That Burning Smell?
Written: Jul 10, 2008 (Updated Jul 10, 2008)
a Very Helpful Review
by the Epinions community
Pros:Keeps good on its promises of being silky smooth, fragrance free, and non-staining.
Cons:It burns, burns, burns...
The Bottom Line: Gentle warming? Right.
ATTENTION: The following review is for an adult product. There may be adult language, connotations, or other insinuating phrases contained within.
KY: they're the brand you trust for all of your personal lubrication needs. Why? Well, because it's either them or Crisco...and I personally don't enjoy the smell of raw baked goods near MY goods. So, for all sensual contact that requires a little bit of assistance, KY has been the go-to brand and has, until this point, never failed me. But with their Touch Massage 2-in-1 Warming product, I feel a bit...well...let down.
Let me first tell you what I expected from this product. It was my girlfriend and I's 2nd Anniversary; we enjoyed a romantic evening of dinner and music, and we wanted to finish off the evening with an extra bit of romance. I had set up a makeshift massage parlor in the guest bedroom to utilize the "BODY MASSAGE" portion of this 2-in-1 product. And for that, it worked. My girlfriend said that it really did a nice job of warming once it was massaged in a bit. It also took away any roughness with my somewhat inexperienced hands by allowing me to glide more easily over her skin. So the "SILKY SMOOTH" note on the back of the bottle held its ground. Also, we weren't bothered by any random cherry scents that some brands like to toss into their massage oils, which made it a delightfully "FRAGRANCE FREE" experience. And, sure enough, once I completed the massage, we found the product to be completely "NON-STAINING." So it seems that KY lived up to at least 1 of the 2-in-1 functions that it proclaimed.
And then came the intimacy...
This is what the bottle directs: "Massage all over body, even in your most intimate areas. Feel the gentle, warm sensation and discover how exciting touch can be." It also claims to be "compatible with latex condoms." I've found both of these statements to be ridiculously off.
First of all, there's nothing gentle about the "warmth" that you'll feel after applying it to your intimate areas. No, I would refer to it as "burning." Fire down below! Even when wearing a condom, the sting of that warming sensation gets to your manhood in a way that is almost frightening. And when used without the condom...just, yikes. My girlfriend complained of some discomfort in terms of the heat as well (only after the intimacy was over, bless her heart). We tried many "versatile openings" that night and, for her, all of them ended with just a few too many hints of discomfort.
It allowed for some extra slippery fun, though, as it did its job by cutting down the friction factor. But is that enough for a product that claims so much and delivers so little?
How Much Do I Have to Fork Out?
Too much! A 2.5 ounce bottle lists as $6.79 on Amazon.com. The cheapest I've found this product in stores is still around $5. For such a small amount, I'd suggest saving your money and buying another product.
Thanks, KY, for making our 2nd Anniversary something to remember. It's just too bad you couldn't have added to the enjoyment instead of detracting from it.
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