I bought Kid Cooperation: How to Stop Yelling, Nagging, and Pleading and Get Kids to Cooperate by Elizabeth Pantley for about $11 in paperback form through Amazon.com. It has 190 pages.

My main reasoning in buying this was to get some new ideas on things to say when parenting- rather than relying on ‘because I said so.’ I have 2 girls 25 months apart in age, and I am home alone with them a lot, and sometimes it can get stressful- for real. Like this one instance where my husband had to go away for a week to Houston- and by the time day 4 rolled around- I was nearly insane- face it folks- I had not been to the bathroom by myself in 4 days. It’s not that I was mad at the kids or him, but it was just stressful- and I thought this book would help me in dealing with those stressful situations such as fighting, whining, and whatnot.

Ok, here’s a breakdown of the chapters, and what they were about:

Let me note here at the end of each chapter, there will be a review page- that tells about the main concepts in each chapter.

Chapter 1- What’s Your Parenting Style?:

Here you will take a 12 question quiz (and do remember to be honest now), that will involve real-life situations and what you would do- either a,b,or c. At the end of the quiz, you tally up your score and then you will read the section where your parenting style lies. Mine was middle of the road- as in sometimes I’m laid back, sometimes I’m authoritarian. After learning your parenting style, you will learn in other chapters some things that will help you.

Chapter 2- The Keys to Successful Parenting:

Here we learn rules for making a family balanced, and how you need to expect your children to obey you- you are the parent, which means you are the boss! Setting rules & consequences and sticking with them. One quote I would like to share from this chapter is ‘our most important job is not to make children happy, but to prepare them for life- life is not always fair.’ How true! Also in this chapter, we learn how to give more specific directions- for example rather than saying ‘clean your room!’ saying ‘pick up the toys and put the shoes in the closet.’

Chapter 3 Cooperation:

Learning how to give clear instructions, giving choices in situations- like “do you want to brush your teeth now or after you put your pajamas on?” Also, we learn about the 5 -3-1- go method, which is saying ‘we are leaving in 5 minutes, then saying we are leaving in 3 minutes, then leaving in 1 minute, then going’. There is a rather amusing story about a lady that tried to use this method, and at McDonald's when she said go- her son jumped into the ball pit, and she had to dive in and get him out to prove that when she said go she meant go. But after doing that one time, her kid caught on. But, she did say she was rather sore after jumping in the ball pit.

Chapter 4 Punishment vs. Discipline:

Learn why we punish, and what spanking really does to a child. Using rules and expectations. Learn how natural consequences can teach a lesson- like a child that forgets their homework after countless times of you telling them to get it- so after you stop telling them, they just plain forget it, and then their grades drop. Then the child realizes if they would have remembered their homework themselves they would not have bad grades.

Another thing I liked from this chapter was behavior baseball. In this particular scenario, the author’s child had a pet guinea pig in her room, which she was not taking care of, and the mother had to do it. She had reminded her, and the child was blowing it off. So, she came up with behavior baseball, and she made a chart for a month that had a rule, and consequence and then 3 strikes. For one particular month the consequence was guinea pig moved out of the kid’s room if she got three strikes for not feeding the animal. She did have to move, but after that it got much better, and she learned responsibility. Now, the author says not to have more than 1 behavior baseball, because it could make your child a nervous wreck- so just pick one major thing that your child needs to work on.

Chapter 5 Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem:

Choosing your words carefully, and using your listening skills when talking with your children, and not necessarily solving their problems.

Chapter 6: How to Nurture Sibling Relationships:

How to discourage tattling, and learn how to plant the seeds of positive communication- as in getting your kids to communicate rather than brawl on the floor.

Chapter 7 Why Do I Get Angry and How Can I Stop?:

Anger masks other emotions- as in if you have a terrible evening; you tend to take it out on your kids. Also, you learn about ways of thinking that make matters worse, and adjusting your expectations for success.

Chapter 8: How Can You Take Care of Everyone Else If You Don’t Take Care of Yourself?:

This chapter talks about ways to take care of yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, eating well, and exercising.

Chapter 9: Ideas – Not Answers:

Here is just a Q &A section where the author answers different questions about scenarios from readers.


Experience:

Seems like I read or heard somewhere you get more training to drive a car than being a parent. You tend to rely on old methods- like the way you were raised. I learned a lot more ways to deal with discipline problems rather than the old stand by method of ‘go to your room.’ What I really needed help with was the problem of my oldest child’s whining. Whenever she does not get her way, she really whines- and I learned from this book that if I post up some rules, that will be the end of that battle. I plan to post some rules on my refrigerator and when the next instance comes up, the rules will end the battle.

I really liked the way this book was written- it was very easy to read, and you don’t feel condemned because of the way you parent. It has really helpful ways of changing yourself and the way you parent. There are plenty of real life example situations listed in the book and while I read it I was like ‘yep, I know somebody like that, or yeah, I have seen that in the grocery store.’

The book seems to be more for women than for men though- I really can’t see my husband reading this- it is more related towards women, I believe. But nonetheless, I really enjoyed it, and I liked the end of chapter summaries, they are something you can refer to much quicker and easier than going through a whole chapter.

Overall, I’d highly recommend this book- it was very helpful, easy to read, and I got a lot from it.


Recommended: Yes