Martha Beck Lets Go of the Rod
Written: Jul 02 '06 (Updated Jul 02 '06)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Well written, curiously funny at times considering the subject matter.
Cons: Some exaggerated details. Mormons might be offended.
The Bottom Line: Read this book to understand that even "chosen" families can be dysfunctional.
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| cuculuain's Full Review: Martha Nibley Beck - Leaving The Saints: How I Los... |
“It is understandable that nearly all the standard exposes of Mormonism have been written by women” –Hugh Nibley
It’s strangely ironic that Hugh Nibley, the late Mormon scholar and apologist would make the statement referenced above. To be fair, he was being satirical in his portrayal of women as gossips (he penned a humorous guide for Anti-Mormon writers). Unfortunately, this same statement could add fuel to one of his daughter’s assertions that the truth about his abusive behavior was suppressed by members of the LDS community.
In Leaving the Saints, How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith, Harvard educated Sociologist turned Life Coach Dr. Martha Beck writes about how her decision to return to Utah led to a chain of events whereby she remembered being sexually abused by her father, dealt with the consequences, and eventually resigned from the Church. Her format is unique, alternating chapters between recalling events leading up to her decision to depart from the faith and a hotel room encounter years later with her father where she attempts a reconciliation of sorts.
Dr. Beck describes herself as having strong “pioneer family” origins. To the uninitiated,non-LDS reader “pioneer families” whose ancestors were charter members of the faith, are somewhat revered in this most home-grown of all American religious communities. Martha’s father, Dr. Hugh Nibley, was regarded with special acclaim. A brilliant scholar and polyglot, Dr. Nibley was the LDS Church’s principal apologist and defender of the faith. His mission was to argue the veracity of the Church’s claim to primacy, in light of constant assault from academia and Anti-Mormon writers.
In 1988, Martha Beck and her husband John left Harvard and returned to Provo, Utah mostly to raise their Down syndrome baby Adam, in what they believed would be a more productive, family oriented environment. Martha describes her obstetrician’s recommendation she abort the fetus as another reason for their decision, knowing instead that their son would be welcomed and supported by the “peculiar people”. True to their belief, they were heartily accepted, and even given teaching positions at nearby Brigham Young University. Reuniting with her parents wasn’t as bright and sunny. Martha portrays her mother as forgetful and quiet caretaker of a perpetually filthy home, and her father as even more distant and aloof—so much so that she often communicated with him through a string of literary allusions. She goes on to describe how in her opinion her father gave his life to the Church while in return it forced him to live in abject poverty.
While settling back into Mormon culture, Beck experienced a Theophany--an encounter with the divine, while under general anesthesia. The result was two-fold, awakening in her an extreme desire to come closer to God, and triggering what she described as terrifying memories of being abused by her father when she was five years old. The remainder of the book deals with the effects of these events on Beck, her family, and her community. Needless to say, her revelations weren’t taken well by family and community, who continue to defend her father to this day.
Most remarkable about Leaving the Saints is the tone in which Beck narrates the story. She treats some very serious subject matter like child abuse, neglect, and religious peer pressure with a mixture of anger, detachment, and sarcasm (she’s very witty). Certainly, if what she says is true, it would be understandable to write only angry, condemning words. Martha doesn’t always do this. I got the feeling that she still loved her parents. She didn’t always like the way they behaved, but they remained in her heart. I believe that she strived to maintain a connection, especially with her father.
The LDS community at large has condemned Leaving the Saints as sensationalist, mercenary, malicious, and outright false. Her family, in their official rebuttal, mentioned that they were approached about joining a mass letter campaign to block the book from addition to Oprah’s Book Club, an invitation which they declined. Various other rebuttal letters, speeches, and emails published to the Web continue the attack, often characterizing the author also as misguided and traitorous.
I don’t know whether or not Martha Beck is lying about being abused by her father. I think the only people who know the truth are Martha, her late father, and God—period. However, I do feel that parts of her book are sensationalist. She’s fond of letting her readers know that her resignation from the church means she’s destined for Outer Darkness, which for Mormons is worse than Hell. Technically, it’s untrue, unless you’re certain the LDS Church is true…like Jesus Himself appeared and told you so, and then you go rogue. Either way, the jury’s still out. However, it’s likely that non-members will sympathize with her, which was probably her goal. At other times, she mentions her reluctance to list some of the more cryptic details of the Endowment Ceremony, citing the promised “penalties” which have since been removed. Again, probably not likely to happen to her given that the complete text of all Endowment Ceremonies can be found on the Web anyway. It does make for good drama though and tips the scales in her favor.
Despite all this, I connected with some of what was written in the book. Like Martha, I resigned from the LDS Church. Arguably, as a convert, it was easier for me to leave than it probably was for her. I can’t imagine the pressure she must have felt, a Mormon Perfecti departing the faith while still in Utah. I left the faith because my search for God took me elsewhere, a reason Martha also claims for herself. She often restates an observation common to Mormonism—that members who leave rarely join another Church. I’m not sure why that is, but it remains true at least for both of us.
Mormons will understand perfectly the title I selected for this review. It refers to a vision detailed in the Book of Mormon, about an iron rod leading people through various perils to the Tree of Life. Along the way, the people remain on the path, or become lost in a mist which surrounds the path, or succumb to taunts from lavishly dressed partygoers, perched on the balcony of a nearby mansion.
Ultimately, the truth behind Martha Beck’s reason for Leaving the Saints, whether search for fame, fortune, academic integrity, or enlightenment is only known to her.
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
cuculuain
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Location: Southern USA
Reviews written: 61
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"I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes"
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