The particular version referred to here was illustrated by Michael Hague.

This is what happens when watercolors go wrong. First, the colors get muddy, the boundaries between objects get blurry. Then everything turns a peculiar shade of black-brown. Then the artist tries to save the piece by adding more water. This causes the black-brown whatever to smear across the page. Then the swearing begins and it’s usually followed by paper tearing and, depending on the deadline, objects being broken. Or maybe that’s just my house. Michael Hague consistently completes step one and occasionally veers into step 2 but for some reason he stops there so some "editor" can publish the muddy mess for children. Ghastly, just ghastly.

This particular monstrosity is The Little Mermaid. We were given a copy because my husband has a passion for Hans Christian Anderson. We keep it in the bathroom because it fits with the fairytale motif and it occasionally serves as a reminder that the world is a mad, mad, mad place and that talent and skill have no bearing on a person’s success or lack thereof.

But if I’m going to pull this to ribbons I should offer examples. Ok, the cover. First of all, the girl is ugly. Her face is shady and bitter. Her hair hangs in dirty glops, not floating as it should. I understand he uses his family as models. If I were his daughter I’d hate him for making me look so ugly. And the background? What is that stuff? Coral? Rock? Why does it all exist on a flat plane? It looks like the background for a high school play. But I can’t go through the entire book picking apart every illustration. It would get very boring. (Eww, look at that face. Dear God, what an unimaginative Sea Witch. Is that a statue or a glob of gray shading that was forgotten?) Shall I point out the illustrations I liked? It won’t take long, since there are only 3 (of 34.)

Page 21 four women find the prince washed up on the shore. The illustration is an obvious homage to N. C. Wyeth. If only the women weren’t 8 feet tall.

Pages 40-41 the prince’s marriage. Another homage to Wyeth. The perspective is a little wonky and the people in the crowd all seem to be from different time periods, but that’s incredibly picky of me to point out.

Page 42 the Mermaid dancing. Actually, all I like here is the central figure and she was stolen from the Pre-Raphaelite painter Burne-Jones (I think.) The rest of the people and the entire background suffers from serious muddies.

So, if you really want a picture book version of the Little Mermaid, look further. This one is pretty darned ugly. If you really want to know how ugly go to your local Borders. Back in the Children’s section, in the picture books, pick up a copy of this and a copy of any Toot & Puddle book by Hollie Hobby or anything illustrated by P. J. Lynch and compare. Pretty scary.




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