It only looks and tastes like animal blood!
Written: Aug 24 '01
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Opaque drinks are naturally more satisfying! Just ask science!
Cons: The meat bits. I can't get over the meat bits.
The Bottom Line: I just spent so much time writing my review, the least you could do is read it and send me your first-born.
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| Hendrx's Full Review: Met-Rx Original Protein Drink Mix |
On the sixth day, after God created people, oil-based fabric protection, and midgets, he said "Let there be protein drinks of various colors to fulfill the poor bastards who are so afraid of dying that they will drink the ground remains of various animals and failed Disney promotional toys," and there was MET-Rx Original Protein Drink Mix...
But even now, two-thousand years after God created the calendar, the deep, almost unanswerable questions still remain:
1. For whom would you recommend this product?
Let's see... The weak, definitely the weak. The malnourished. The hungry, but not hungry for food, more like hungry for a thick, chunky drink of orange god-knows what. A 1980's Tim Allen, pre-Home Improvement but post-raging-cocaine-addiction. Oh, and the vain. And Jesus. That guy always looks a junkie.
How does this brand compare to others you've tried? Will you continue to use it?
While it is the first protein drink I've tried, and I'm comparing it to less "healthy" drinks, persay, I have tried blending other foods and drinking them before. Remember that time we put a whole salad in the blender for ten minutes to make a health drink?! And it was so bad that you poured it all out but you still managed to get half of it on your shirt?! That was a great night. That was the first night we made love.
How satisfying are the's products flavors? Portions?
Satisfying? Well, if I had to consult my spectrum of satisfaction, I would put MET-Rx Protein Drinks below pecan pie, but above holding a snake.
Why did you try this type of product? What are the benefits, drawbacks, and side effects?
I tried this product because I like to consider myself a connoisseur of experience. And by "connoisseur of experience," I mean "masochist." The drawbacks are, or course, the flavor, the color, the way you wear your hat, and the illusion that you've done something healthy by, in fact, doing nothing healthy. The side effects? A false sense of satisfaction. But at least it's more of a false sense of satisfaction than the false sense of satisfaction you acheive by holding a snake.
Recommended:
No
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Epinions.com ID: Hendrx
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Member: Ben Popik
Location: Annandale-on-Hudson, NY
Reviews written: 16
Trusted by: 2 members
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