berniez40's Full Review: Mort Fertel - Marriage Fitness: 4 Steps to Buildin...
The physical book itself is rather plain. The photo on the paperback cover is nice, and the layout seems fairly professional. The quality of paper is pretty average. Don't go looking for any super glossy photos w/spoon fed instructions here. This is good in my opinion. Saving a troubled marriage, or simply resurrecting one from the dull routines of everyday life is straight up hard work and business. As the author points out, "It's not rocket science, but it is hard work." Thus the lack of kitschy photos , glossy pages, diagrams, etc. "Like any fitness plan you have to work at it every day. It's not only about understanding what to do, it's putting it into practice on a daily basis." It's here where you begin, after some seriously good questions and exercises for a deeper understaniding of "One's Self."
Fertel is quick to point out the differences between the character we like to portray to the world, and the over arching answer of who we really are. While this sounds overly simplistic at first, I found that there's a lot more than meets the eye on this one. Even though we often portray complex characters to those w/whom we interrract, there is one true self who makes such calls as to how we adjust and or act differently amongst certain groups of people, yetwe ourselves do not change? I don't want to get too warm and fuzzy here, because the author doesn't.
The inventories you take, just a couple, are more than enough to surprise the heck out of you and get his point across.
The sizing yourself up test is also a good one that sounds, and is w/a few of the questions simplistic. But that's the point on this one. It tells you in black and white where you stand. He doesn't bomb you w/half hidden sales pitches for his other products. (You will get more than enough of these from his web site, if you go there; but they are more of a soft sell technique so that YOU actually make the call w/very little pressure applied.) From there, self reflection and an idea of where you are at, he takes you down the path of what you need to do.
The explanation of these techniques etc. are very good. For openers, he points out again that this is indeed a fitness program. "Marriage Fitness--where you can experience phenomenal love." (I'm afraid you may see this phrase a few too many times--but it does get the point across.) As with any fitness program you employ the techniques slowly, and surely-not all at once. It is the act of repetition, as with any fitness program, that makes it work.
A lot of it is just good common sense, but it just might amaze you as to how we used to think about such things when we first started dating our spouses, and how much we take for granted now. The author is wise enough not to use such terminology, and he does point out that at this point, we are usually still projecting our character to a role mate, not a soul-mate. The "5 A Day Power Talk" is a very good example of some of the basics, but believe me, every professional athlete I've ever met still practices the fundamentals every day. Don't worry-it's not about turning off your favourite program and trying to talk to your spouse for an hour---it's about making sure that there are at least 5 times in any given day when you and your spouse can talk for 1 minute. That's right--one stinkin' minute, and not about something practical such as "What's for dinner, who's going to pick up the kids, etc.." It's about your dreams, their dreams, your love, their love, how beautiful the stars are tonight, etc....Dreamy stuff---like you used to talk about.
I have found that after only two weeks, my marriage is seeing a big turnaround. I married my wife to be my soulmate, and somehow she started to turn into my room mate. I take responsibility for at least half of what has dulled the sheen on an absolutely brilliant marriage, and I'm using this stuff as polish religiously. I highly reccomend this book, it is working. I realize, and if you engage in it you should too, that this really is a fitness program. It's going to take daily workouts, and lots of perseverance. The payoff, however, is darn near immediate, and therefor, the commitment to the plan is easier than many diets I have tried in the past.
MARRIAGE FITNESS is a revolutionary step-by-step system for creating a phenomenal marriage. Whether you're happy, frustrated, angry, or bored, MARRIAG...More at HotBookSale
Epinions.com periodically updates pricing and product information from third-party sources, so some information may be slightly out-of-date. You should confirm all information before relying on it.
- Add to My Yahoo!: 
- Add to Google Homepage: 
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.