What do you call guys who hang around with musicians?

Luny Tunes!

I know, I know, y'all thought I was gonna say "drummers". That's the classic punchline anyway, but give a listen to Luny Tunes' album, Mas Flow 2 (or Mas Flow for that matter), and I know you'll understand just exactly why my punchline is even more cuttingly accurate than the classic.

Luny Tunes is a big name riding today's tidal wave of popularity that the reggaeton style is experiencing throughout the latin music world, but I'm convinced that it's not a case of genuine talent, but rather a case of it being easy to be a big fish in a very, very small pond. With reggaeton, you have a young genre that's taken off faster than an overpaid American software millionaire in a Russian spaceship.

Today, almost anyone who says they're reggaeton can guarantee platinum-level sales. Even a poseur like Luny Tunes can cash in big time and hit the Billboard charts --- which is exactly what's happening with Mas Flow 2.

The album is lame, and if it weren't for the reggaeton niche being something of a canyon these days, this album wouldn't be famous and would sell at numbers slightly below that of Middleville Junior High School Band Plays Sousa Marches Galore, if ya know what I mean...


The Problems with Mas Flow 2...
Ah, Mas Flow 2, how do I detest thee? Let me count the ways...

1. Remixes: I have low respect for remix albums to begin with. They're unoriginal and more often than not, they're mixed by D.J.s who have no knowledge or sensitivity towards the moods and themes that a song was intended to convey. Remixes are almost always substantially weaker than the original studio track. It's just the nature of the the thing. There are exceptions, of course, but they tend to be as common as magical bean stalks or intelligent conservative talk radio shows, and frankly, I'm not sure any of those things really do exist.

2. Noise: I love a song that's smooth and that works together from beginning to end like a well-oiled machine, every part doing its bit and no more, with every note being just right, and every instrument adding to the mix to create a whole that's greater than the sum of any part. It's not a tough concept, it's basically the "symphony" idea as opposed to "cacaphony". A symphony can be masterpiece. A cacaphony gets you 90 days for disturbing the peace. Luny Tunes has 26 tracks of cacaphony on this thing. By my calculations, they should earn 2,340 days (about 6-1/2 years) in the county lockup for inflicting this trash on our ears.

The "trash" I refer to is inappropriate injections of bizarre noise and shouts of "Luny Tunes" and "Mas Flow", not just once, but several times in every single track on this disc! It's jarring. It's sloppy. It's unprofessional. It's uncool. It's horrendous. It's also more boring than watching C-SPAN. And in case you don't get my gist, I just don't like it.

3. The Tone: Reggaeton is, by its nature, a style based around an almost monotonously steady rhythm --- just like the Caribbean reggae style that is its backbone. On some of the tracks on this disc, the tunes take on far too much of an R&B sound, which is fine on an R&B album, but very not fine on a reggaeton album --- not on a good one anyway.


Some Low Points...
Normally, I'd talk about the highs and lows together, but this album just has soooooo many low points, that I gotta make it it's own section.

The "low" starts off right away with a lot of crowd noise and shouting standing in as an "introduction". I don't like Intro tracks to begin with because latin artists who use 'em always fill 'em with annoying garbage, and the crowd noise sounding like somebody recorded the Houston Texans crowd as the team fumbled the ball (again!), does nothing to put me in a good mood.

El Tiburon tries it's best to be a Gasolina clone, but it's wooden sounding rhythm basis just can't carry it off (and raps that don't rhyme right just come off sounding phony and contrived). Throw in some stupid shouts of "Hey! Luny Tunes, Baby!" and you've got a guaranteed snoozer and loser!

Con Rabia is such a cacaphonous mess that I really can't stand listening to it. I'd rather have someone tie me up and put Terry Jacks' Seasons in the Sun on endless replay than have to endure this track so much as one more time. Puro ruido. I feel the same way about Tortura: somebody needs to tell Yaga and Mackie that their vocals sound like Mack truck in reverse gear, which might account for the annoying back-up alarm sounds that open the cacaphonous track. (I'm using the word "cacaphonous" a lot in this review. It's a good word for this album --- I think I'll use it some more....especially to describe the plodding mess that is Gansta.)

There are a handful of tracks that I just find inappropriate to this album. I wouldn't mind songs like Verme if they showed up on a Destinys Child album, but 'scuse me! This ain't no reggaeton song. It's as jarringly inappropriate as a wardrobe malfunction in a Branson bible-thumper stage show (but not as delightfully titillating on the replays).

Joan & Oneil have an unconvincing premise behind their lyrics, and instead of backing it up with emphasizing sounds that convey either intensity or passion, they throw in all these grunt sounds that remind me of Michael Douglas's "OOOF" sound when he gets his crotch slammed by a rifle butt in Romancing the Stone. Michael Douglas gets babe-A-lish nookie, but he doesn't try to do reggaeton. Joan & Oneil and Luny Tunes would be wise to note similar limitations.

Fantasia puts me to sleep faster than reading one of my own long Epinions reviews. Zzzzzzzzz....


Is Anything Done "Right" on Mas Flow 2??
Okay, let me shift gears a bit and back off my "rant" mode.

One of the pluses of this disc is that it does pull in material from quite a lot of very talented reggateon artists and it does give you at least a flavor of what their sounds might be like. To the extent of introducing people to new artists, I like this album.

I also like that, even in spite of the added noise and bad remixing, some of the songs aren't totally emasculated. Some, anyway. Somewhat.

It's really a shame that Luny Tunes are so tone-deaf that they couldn't have just plunked in Hector El Bambino's original Dale Castigo without mutilation. El Bambino has the ability to fuse rap with reggaeton and to infuse it with well-done techno keyboard elements that add to the mood, making it feel 2005 reggaeton and not 1982 disco. El Bambino also knows how to create an overall slickness to his rap sections, he knows how to keep his beat steady, and he knows how to work in an unmistakable element of sensuality.

Similarly, the Daddy Yankee and Deevani collaboration piece, Mirame has an element of Near-East mystique that gets away from the sometimes monotonous pace that reggaeton can sometimes fall into.

I've lately been captivated by the earthy sensuality of Ivy Queen's vocals, and Te He Querido, Te He Llorado has a wonderful rollercoaster motion to it with a pulsing big bass drum and a percussion depth that reflects more of a Caribbean-wide tone than any style-specific sound.

On the bonus CD, I really like the strong hip-hop sound of Baby Ranks Tu Bailar (which is also one of the few tracks with much English on it). A lot of the rap effects in reggaeton sound contrived and forced, but this is one track that sounds like something you might hear played in an American inner city neighborhood. It resonates without sounding obviously bogus.


What Is Luny Tunes?
Luny Tunes is a DJ/production duo. They aren't musicians at all. They couldn't compose an original verse or stanza to save their lives. They're essentially nothing more than rap DJs who take works by real artists and then abuse the hell out of the things, errr, I guess "remix" is the more polite term for what they do.

The talentless duo are Domincans Francisco Saldana and Victor Cabrera.


Trackin' the Tracks...
Two discs, the first one overly remixed, the second one (the "bonus CD") less so. You get a lot of music for your dollar, unfortunately, it's not worth hearing. Here's what you're in for...

Disc One (20 tracks, total running time: 68:00)
1. Mas Flow Intro
2. Rakata
3. El Tiburon
4. Dale Castigo
5. Mirame
6. Es Mejor Olividarlo
7. Mayor Que Yo
8. Oh Johnny!
9. Con Rabia
10. Sobale el Pelo
11. Te He Querido, Te He Llorado
12. Mirame (otra vez!?)
13. Dejala Volar
14. Verme
15. Tortura
16. Acorralandome
17. Obsession
18. La Killer
19. Fantasia
20. Gansta

Disc Two (Bonus CD) (6 tracks, total running time: 20:48)
1. Mas Flow Intro (otra vez!?)
2. Que! Como?
3. Tu Bailar
4. Querer y Amar
5. Salida
6. Ta' To


The Bottom Line...
This album sucks.

It is entirely derivative and reflects a gaping chasm of empty promises totally devoid of creativity or passion. The music is mechanical, often too light to be good reggaeton, it's badly hacked, and it's full of noise and distracting chatter. Even with a bonus album, it doesn't really have any track that comes close to matching the power and passion of real reggaeton artists performing genuine compositions.

It's really only for the uncritical die-hards who would buy anything called "reggaeton".

Until next time, see you over on Ebay....I've got to post a new auction to get rid of this thing. Hope there are some saps over there who don't read my reviews!


More Reggaeton...
If this album is your first exposure to the reggaeton style, don't let its mediocrity turn you off of the style. There are good albums out there. Look for albums by Daddy Yankee, Tego Calderon, Ivy Queen, Don Omar, or even older El General stuff. Here's a couple albums that are head and shoulders above this ugly thing...

* Barrio Fino --- Daddy Yankee
* The Last Don --- Don Omar




Recommended: No