Just when you thought it was safe to dip your big toe in the blind dating pool - along comes (or should I say skates) Mattel's latest release in a long line of dating duds - Skate Date Ken. Quick reality check - if your friend set you up with him, it's time to get some new friends.

I think these guys are the original reason for that old, "I have to stay home and wash my hair excuse." I'm sure just about anything - tooth extraction without Novocain, getting stung by a scorpion or watching a test pattern would be a much more fun and tolerable alternative than spending an evening alone with him.

If he's that bad why'd you buy him?

I could use the old excuse - he didn't seem so bad on the K B Toys website, or I could flat out lie and say my husband bought him, but neither of them would be true.

First off, I need to admit, we own all the "date" Kens, so I knew to a large extent what I was getting into when I bought him, and yet I purchased him anyway.

Why you ask, simple - for those of you unfamiliar with life in Malibu it's time to get schooled. There is a significant lack of testosterone on the sandy beaches and in the clubs - not like Ken brings much to the party. I think the guy to girl ratio is worse there than at a small private liberal arts college.

Men are accessories bought to accentuate an evening gown or look good in the corvette. They are meant to be seen and not heard. They are an inexpensive piece of arm candy, easily exchanged for a newer/better looking model - after all they all fit into the same tux so why not keep trading up.

I have also found that unfortunately Mattel feels the same way - while hours are spent developing and creating new Barbie dolls, it seems like only 1/10th of that time (or possibly less) is spent coming up with new Ken dolls (in fact there are days I think these decsions are left up to the janitorial staff).

Ken dolls seem to be made to be bought and broken. It's like the minute Barbie starts tearing him a new one he falls to pieces (literally) and you are forced to go and get another one. We have more headless Ken dolls in our Barbie box of shame than I care to admit. Although with my extensive collection of antenna balls Barbie has had some interesting dates - most recently she has been seen out with Jack in the Box and the Wal-Mart smiley face.

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

With pick up lines like that, is it any wonder he needs the assistance of friends to find him dates? He doesn't seem quite schooled in the art of speaking to pretty girls. In fact one night at the bar I overheard him trying to pick Lingerie Model Barbie using the line, "Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? (Ken, perhaps the direct approach isn't always the best one).

He was finally able to get some action using the oldie but goody, "You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. Of course the Drew Barrymore Charlie's Angel action figure isn't the most picky poseable in the world.

So just what's so wrong with Ken?

To put it nicely, he's a fixer upper. We're talking about an adult who comes to pick you up for your date on skates. The only way the evening could have gotten off to a better start was if his mother was driving them to the restaurant. Dude, a tandem bike or the bus would have been better than skates. But don't say he isn't romantic, he brings a pair of skates for you, so you can keep up.

I give Mattel credit, it looks like they tried to PacSun him up, but somehow it went way wrong and they ended with Bert and Ernie's son instead. They tried to skate punk him out, but that v-neck striped shirt with lime green accents is just a huge Glamour don’t. Does the man look at what his mom picks for him to wear, or does he just toss it on?

His pants are hilarious. A strange mix of khaki meets dork and a nice way to say I can only afford one pair or pants/shorts. The legs breakaway so that his pants turn into knee length shorts – at least on our date he left the black socks at home. I do give him credit for not getting them in that all too sexy parachute material.

He also comes with as they like to put it, a “cross-seasonal” scarf. HUH? Isn’t there only one season for a scarf? Nothing says sexy more than a dork in a striped shirt and scarf in the middle of summer. All that’s truly missing from this look is a Puka bead necklace – a little David Cassidy goes a long way the ladies. Maybe they give you the scarf to hold his head on when it inevitably falls off. He also comes with a helmet – but alas Mr. Safety doesn’t have one for his date –so keep that in Barbie, it’s a way out of the date.

His shoes/skates are the icing on the cake. They convert from in-line skates to ice skates to sneakers in just a few seconds – ok, he may be on a limited income – but you don’t need to advertise it so much.

OK, he can only afford one shirt, pair of pants/shorts and convertible shoes – he comes to your date on skates - Does this guy sound like a catch or what? Actually he sounds like the prefect guy for Biological Clock Barbie or I can Change Him Ima or Spinster Stacey- any of those dolls might be so desperate as to latch on to him that they could overlook his many character flaws. Heck if Liza Minelli’s “marriage” doesn’t work I think we’ve found her next husband. In fact she’d better move fast before he makes a move on Judy Garland Barbie.

Overall I see nothing redeeming about this Ken doll. I bought him because my girls wanted more “guys” to play with – and they wanted the flavor of the month. He was striped of his “hip” skater clothes and put in my old Ken dolls maroon velour tux with matching ruffle shirt – hey wait, he’d be the perfect Pimp Ken for my dance club set up.

Only you can decide if you want to purchase this doll – his lack of accessories, money, a job and personality don’t seem to make him worth the $12.99 – but I’m sure some girl would find him a catch. I’d stick with the $3.99 Ken dolls unless he goes on clearance.


Recommended: Yes

Amount Paid (US$): 12.99
Type of Toy: Other
Age Range of Child: 6 to 8 Years