As you may (or may not) already know, Maybelline has introduced a whole new line of mascaras. In doing so they have discontinued some old favorites. One of them being my very favorite, trusted and true, non-clumping, applies beautifully, works every time, and wears like a dream Ultra Big Lash. Now I am afraid I must unleash all of the powers of darkness within me to "let 'em have it". Didn’t their mothers ever teach them never to p!ss off a redhead? You asked for it Maybelline, here’s what I really think of your new mascaras.

In a word, "clump". Another word would be "glop". However I suppose a bit of clumping is better than a poke in the eye. But wait, you get that too! Now, I know that the average height of a human being has increased through the ages. But until we reach a size so massive that the measurement of one single eyeball can be recorded at 6 inches in height, one will not be able to apply this mascara without a good poke in the eye. Simply put, these applicator brushes are friggin’ HUGE! I have tried a few of them and this seems to be pretty consistent throughout the new line. To give you a more accurate description, the bristles are too long, thus making the applicator brush much too big around. This design makes it next to impossible to get the brush into the inner portion of the lashes for full coverage. This inner portion of lash (or IPL) is separated from the sensitive eyeball by a mere millimeter, sometimes less. Women and drag queens alike know that we must be very careful when approaching the IPL or we risk the dreaded PITE (or poke in the eye). This, in turn, sets off a nasty chain of events which includes the inadvertent smudging of mascara onto the delicate skin around the eye, a few chosen curse words (or more than a few depending on how late you’re running that morning), damage control, and the necessity to begin the whole sordid process all over again.

Maybelline was kind enough to suggest replacements for discontinued items on their web site, www.maybelline.com. The replacement they suggest for Ultra Big Lash is called Full 'N Soft. Naturally that is the first one I tried. It boasts a non-clumping formula which, as you can probably guess by the title of this piece, does in fact, clump. After three days of multiple PITEs and the clumpiest lashes I have ever experienced, I decided to try something else. This time I chose Maybelline’s Illegal Lengths mascara. I was more than a little disappointed to learn via trial and error that it was the same huge applicator and the same non-clumping, clumping formula as Full 'N Soft imprinted with a different name. I wanted to give it a fair shot so I used it a second time before concluding that it was just as useless as the first. Which brings me to the third new Maybelline mascara I purchased this week, Lash Discovery. I chose this particular item because the picture printed on the package divulged a much smaller applicator brush. As I drew the wand out from the tube, I was delighted and a bit perplexed to find that not only was it much smaller. But it was much, much, much, much smaller. Oh no! Could this one actually be TOO small? At this point I’m feeling like Goldielocks from "The Three Bears" when she cried, "This one is too big. This one is too small." Curse you Maybelline, for me thinks you are toying with the almighty consumer! The good news is that, unlike the others, this one does not clump. I don’t believe the formula itself is non-clumping. It is my opinion that the brush is just too darn small to be able to gather clumps to be transferred onto your lashes.

Alas, unlike Goldielocks who found closure in her dilemma, I am still searching for that mascara that is just right. Until then, I’ll reluctantly stick with Maybelline’s Lash Discovery formula. It has a tiny little brush allowing one to get into the IPL area without a PITE.

Illegal Lengths Product Features:
- Rich, conditioning formula lengthens and strengthens lashes
- Long, lush lashes won't smear, smudge or glob
- Lash-extending brush lengthens and separates
- Hypoallergenic

Available in 4 shades:
- Black Onyx
- Brownish Black
- Chestnut Brown
- Blue Sapphire

Full ‘N Soft Product Features:
- Healthy-looking lashes
- Soft-Wax Formula wraps each lash in comforting softness
- Prevents loss of lashes with the Quick Dissolve system, which allows easy mascara removal
- Available in Washable and Waterproof

Available in 3 shades:
- Very Black
- Brownish Black
- Dark Brown

Lash Discovery Product Features:
- Exclusive mini-brush finds hard-to-reach lashes
- Lengthens, separates, defines with no clumping
- Available in Washable and Waterproof

Available in 3 shades
- Soft Black
- Very Black
- Brownish Black

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If you would like to read a positive mascara review, please see "Superior Longitude Gets A Superior Rating!" by katybrighteyes. This little gem is next in line on my “To Try” list. Thanks, Katy!



Recommended: No