Enter the Land of the Beast
Written: Aug 21 '02 (Updated Aug 22 '02)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: The Price is Very Low
Cons: Everything else
The Bottom Line: From the appearance, to the first sip, to the aftertaste, Milwaukee's Best Light is one sorry experience.
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| Bryan_Carey's Full Review: Milwaukee's Best |
Hello, fellow Epinionators! This is my second entry in a six- part series, titled “For the Love of Bad Brew”. I have selected six horrible malt beverages for the purpose of this solo write- off, which I will present, one miserable brew at a time, over the next several days. Cheers!
When I think of cheap, low quality beer, there’s one brand name that instantly pops into my head before any other. It’s one of the all- time champions of bad taste, a beer brewed for alcoholics the world over who don’t have the money to purchase something even halfway decent. I’m referring to the Milwaukee’s Best lineup of beer, which includes regular, ice, and light. The subject of this review is going to be Milwaukee’s Best Light, a low calorie version of the beer we love to call “The Beast”.
Basic Characteristics of This Beer:
Milwaukee’s Best Light pours to a golden hue with a small amount of foam that dissolves away rapidly, leaving a plain, dull glass of brew with a weak aroma that reminds me of wet cardboard.
The taste of this beer is odd. There are some metallic elements to the flavor, combined with some sweet malt and adjuncts, like corn sugar. The label says that this product is brewed with “barley and select cereal grains”. That’s a nice, safe way of admitting that this beer is cheapened by the use of adjuncts, like corn. This makes the beer less expensive to brew and weakens the taste and character. It has a flavor that seems like it was prepared a few months earlier in a mop bucket then bottled and stored for later consumption.
Milwaukee’s Best Light finishes with a watery flush and an aftertaste that’s grainy and unappetizing. The overall taste is sweet, but the finish is on the dry side, giving it a taste sensation similar to chewing on a piece of paper mixed with stale corn flakes and alcohol.
Miller Brewing (the folks responsible for making this swill) produces this beer with calories that are scaled way down- almost as low as its signature beer, Miller Lite. The total calories in a 12 oz. serving are just 98, and the alcohol level is 3.88 percent by volume.
Food Compatibility:
Ha!! The thought of eating good food with this repulsive beverage makes me want to empty the contents of my stomach right now. There is no food that is low enough on the edibility scale to recommend eating with Beast Light. This beer is meant to be drank solo, for a cheap buzz.
Final Thoughts:
Milwaukee’s Best Light extends the lineup of the Beast to include a light beer. This product was introduced in 1986, with the hope of capturing a decent market share in the popular low- calorie malt beverage sector. While it does deliver on keeping people nice and thin, it doesn’t deliver on taste, by any stretch of the imagination.
Even though this beer ranks near the bottom of my all- time list, it does hold special memories, and I think that anyone who has attended college between 1984 and the present can relate to how I feel. Students buy Milwaukee’s Best products in large volume for one obvious reason: the price is extremely cheap! I used to buy kegs of this crap when I was a student, and it sold for only about $23 per half barrel (15.5 gallons)! There were much better products to buy, but when you're a student, you go for the greatest volume at the lowest possible price. This is the primary reason why Milwaukee’s Best products have sold so well. A case of 24 cans sells for only $8.99 and a 40 oz. bottle retails for just 99 cents! I don’t think there is any other beer product that sells for such a low price.
Most cheap beer tastes best the colder it is served. Milwaukee’s Best Light is no exception. In fact, this beer exemplifies the need to serve cheap beer as close to 32 degrees as possible. As Milwaukee’s Best Light warms up, it becomes rancid and completely undrinkable. It needs to be consumed very cold.
Milwaukee’s Best Light is a very weak, watery, bad- tasting beer that is noteworthy only for its low price. Devotees, drunks, and students will continue to buy “The Beast” for many years to come. It’s nauseating, yes, but it’s cheap and it will keep selling well for that reason alone.
Recommended:
No
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