Molson Canadian Beer, Is Just Like Me,... Cool, Clean and Friendly
Written: Apr 10 '02
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Product Rating:
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Pros: I grew up drinking Molson beer.
Cons: I never really grew up.
The Bottom Line: My name isn't 9-1-1 or brew-guru. I just wanted to review one of my favorite brands...just because I like it.
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| the_gas_man's Full Review: Molson Breweries Canadian |
Let's start off by setting the record straight. Molson's Canadian is a brand name of just one of the Molson Breweries brands. I've seen a few other reviews in this category, the best were written by Americans, which shouldn't surprise me too much since Molson beer is one of the top five favourite imports of American beer drinkers. Canadian should not be confused with the other brands by Molson Breweries, like Golden Lager and Export Ale.
Did you know that three of the five favorite beers, imported by the United States, are Canadian beers? Molson Canadian is on that list, followed closely by Moosehead and Labatt's. Frankly, I don't know why Americans rank Moosehead so highly. It isn't one of my favorites, there is a cute picture of a moose's head on the bottle though. To each their own I suppose.
You really only need to know a few names to get a decent Canadian beer. Molson, Labatt's, Sleeman's, and Creemore, arranged in order of their size. However, as we all know, size doesn't really matter. Oh sure, there are a number of other breweries in Canada, but, these are my four favorites.
In Toronto, Montreal or Vancouver, you've gotta love Molson's Breweries for more than just their beers. It's a law here. So don't come to visit Toronto, unless you're prepared to pay homage to a Molson Export Ale, available either in the bottle/can or on tap at any pub you wander into. Enjoy the local scenery, as you cheer on the Toronto Maple Leafs. Preferably, you'll be sitting in a crowded sport's bar with a couple of hundred somewhat crazy Toronto Leaf's fans roaring around you. Don't worry, you'll be safe, just so long as you don't cheer on the Red Wings. That's against the law here too. (We have a lot of crazy laws up here.)
Don't be surprised to see a couple of Canadian loonies (and I don't mean the dollar coins) in the hockey crowds, bare chested, in all kinds of weather, with a blue Maple Leaf painted on their chest. They really aren't looney. They're probably descended from the Vikings. The ancient Vikings would drink gallons of beer and strip off their armour and shirts before heading fearlessly out into a battle. That's where the term "berserk", comes from. Apparently, it means "bare shirt" in Norse. Canadians aren't too different really, when it comes to hockey.
Speaking of bare chests, the City of Toronto did pass a by-law here years ago, which made it as legal for women to walk down the streets without a shirt on, as it is for a man. Unfortunately, I've rarely seen any women taking advantage of that new by-law. So much for equal rights. Nothing to do with beer, just a side thought about weird Canadian laws.
I understand that in Texas there's a law on the books that states it's illegal to take more than three sips of beer while standing, so maybe Canadian aren't the only ones with weird laws. However, in Toronto sports bars it's illegal to take three sips of a Molson Canadian beer while either sitting or standing. It must be consumed in no less than two sips. One big sip if the Leafs score a goal.
As a home boy of Toronto (affectionately known as Hog Town by Western Canadians) I grew up with the immortal words, "It's Hockey Night In Canada, brought to you by, Molson's". I can even hear the theme music playing in the background. Da dunt da duh duh duhhhh, da dunt da duh duh da-da-daaaaa... well okay, so you had to be there. That was back when you could count the number of hockey teams in the NHL on your two hands and have enough fingers left over to hang onto your beer.
Where would we have been, in Toronto or in Montreal, without the corporate sponsorship of Molson's attached to Canadian hockey? I can't even imagine a game without the friendly company of a Molson's beer. That's the primary reason for Canadian loyalty to Molson Canadian Lager and Export Ale beers.
Then of course there's the name itself, Molson's Canadian, what a great name for a great beer! It's permitted under Canadian law to order a pint of Molson Canadian Lager if you prefer a smoother tasting lager beer to their Export Ale.
*****INTERMISSION*****
A termite walks into a pub and asks, "Where's the bar tender?"
Hello?....Is this microphone turned on?
A chimpanzee walked into a bar, jumped up on a stool and said, "Gimme a beer!" "You're a talking chimp!" the bartender exclaimed. "Right," the chimp replied. "I'm working in construction across the street for a week, then I'm laid off, now where is my beer?"
Each day the chimp came in for a beer, he was more and more depressed about being laid off. Meanwhile a circus came to town, and the bartender had mentioned the talking chimp to the owner.
"I've got great news, you can get a job with the circus." he informed the chimp. "This circus, it's in a big canvas tent?" the chimp inquired. "Well yes," replied the bartender.
"I wonder why they need a finish carpenter?" mused the chimp.
ACT II
I believe Molson's have one of the best marketing slogans in the world for their Molson "Canadian" lager, if you're from Canada. "I AM CANADIAN!" Their marketing boys have that slogan plastered over more t-shirts, ball caps and billboards. It's simple, patriotic and it gives you the mixed message of pride in Canada and wanting a cold beer really quick.
So what if you're not a Canadian, you can still drink the beer and pretend for a few minutes. Just wear a touque and carry a hockey stick.
I could deviate for a moment (again) to mention Molson's Canadian Ice beer which has a pretty unique flavor of it's own and a slightly higher alcohol content. The standard for either Canadian or Export is 5% alcohol by volume. Real beer drinkers don't drink light beer. Sorry. At only 13 calories per ounce, what's the point of a light beer? Of all the alcoholic drinks, beer has the lowest calories per ounce. That's a fact.
Aside from being one of the top three brewers in Canada with roots dating back to the 1700's, Molson is an icon to Canadians that you will find distributed from coast to coast. Sponsors of Toronto's Molson Indy, Molson concert events with big name bands, and hockey, of course, this is a brewery that gives back to the community in large ways. Sure it's all good for their marketing purposes but, let's not be jaded. They make a few decent ales and lagers and they've been around doing other good things for quite awhile.
This is my very first beer review, and it's from a Canadian perspective, so cut me some slack. I didn't have any fancy gourmet secrets to share with you. My name isn't 9-1-1 or brew-guru. I just wanted to review one of my favorite brands. Not because of it's bouquet, it's creamy head, it's amber color, or even it's crisp flavor, but, just because I like it.
This is from a guy who was weened on Molson's beers and has paid homage to their brew master's skills for many decades. That should be enough of a testimonial in itself. So drink it. What else did you have planned for the weekend and what more do you need me to tell you?
Remember, under Canadian law, you are required to drink lots of Molson beer in a sports bar, during a Leafs hockey game. If, the unthinkable happens, due to some bad officiating, and the Leaf's lose to an American team, it's required by law, that any Americans in the bar, buy rounds of Molson Canadian for the entire house. I don't want to hear anyone whining about how they ended up in a Toronto jail because they didn't know the laws. Ignorance of the beer law is no excuse, have some respect for the laws of foreign countries. Besides, as we know, all Americans are filthy rich.
If you do get yourself arrested in Toronto, the best thing you can do is to offer the judge and the police officer a 24 pack of Molson's Canadian. You'll probably get off with minor fine, usually, no more than two beaver pelts.
This review seems so much shorter than all the others I've ever written, so I'll just leave you with this useless but interesting bit of beer lore trivia.
In Babylonia 4,000 years ago, it was customary after a wedding for the bride's father to supply his son-in-law with all the beer he could drink for a month. When I read that, I thought, "What a great wedding present!" Although, they don't mention what the bride thought about it. Those Babylonians were party animals.
So if you ever make in into a Canadian pub or a sports bar, and you're looking to wet your whistle, I can highly recommend a large, refreshing, cool pint of Molson Canadian. I really prefer it pulled from the taps as opposed to the bottle, but that's just me. Did you ever wonder where the term, "Wet your whistle", comes from? You didn't? Okay, I'll tell you. Apparently, way back in time, across the pond, in merry Old England, a whistle was baked into the ceramic rims or handles of beer mugs so that customers could whistle for service. Hence, "Wet your whistle".
I want to point out to everyone that I didn't use Canadian slang once in this review. I think all that stuff is getting kind of tired and a bit lame. Pretty good, eh?
Time to go "berserk".
Regards,
Gasman
Recommended:
Yes
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the_gas_man
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