Montezuma Tequila White 80 Proof

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Montezuma white: Tequila fit for a tomb!

Mar 19, 2008
Review by  
Rated a Very Helpful Review

Pros:Cheap, burns all the way down.

Cons:Tastes horrible, hard to mix enough to wipe the taste out.

The Bottom Line: I won't be buying Montezuma again...I'd pay Cuervo prices before I'd drink this stuff again!


Let's face it, there are only two reasons to drink tequila. One is to enjoy the taste of a drink, typically a margarita, in the manner of responsible adults. You can sip these drinks the in summer for a refreshing experience that mixes well with social gatherings when imbibed in moderation. The second reason to drink tequila is to get hammered and stagger around a bit before passing out.

When drinking for taste Jose Cuervo gold has a monopoly on the main stream tequila industry. Don't believe me? Ask a true margarita fan.

If you are looking to get hammered, and I mean really blistered, and you don't want to spend a fortune doing it Montezuma White is the tequila for you.

Quantity vs price
Montezuma is not what you'd call top shelf tequila anywhere that I've ever been. About $15.00 will buy you the 750ml bottle of 80 proof (40% alcohol) which is a bottle about the size of three Coke cans. This is far less than the $40 I've paid for the same size in more reputable brands but enough that it still comes in a glass bottle instead of the plastic used by bottom shelf brands.

An experience of it's own.
When you open the lid of the Montezuma you know you are in for an experience that is not the taster's choice. It smells as if you've cracked open ol' Montezuma's crypt for the first time and are catching a whiff of rotted goat and antique sweat. UGH!

A light sip from the bottle reveals a bite that matches up best with flavored gasoline. Your tongue will immediately attempt to curl into a ball on the bottom of your mouth and the gag reflex will kick in immediately. Only the smallest of sips is a terror...a full shot would make most folks spit on the floor. Truly, Listerine would burn less as it went down your throat! Maybe even rubbing alcohol would taste better...

In short: don't drink Montezuma straight. Nothing redeeming is available in that method.

When Montezuma hits your stomach it explodes in a wave of illness. It's like drinking raw eggs...after they've gone bad. To make matters worse, not matter how sick you are while you are drinking it you'll be a dozen times worse the next day if you drink too much. Montezuma is not kind to the human stomach at all!

It doesn't play well with others.
I've mixed Montezuma with a few things while I've been trying to choke down this bottle and I've found that most things recoil from it with as much determination as my tongue did. The only success I've had is with Daily's Strawberry Margarita Mix...a product that seems to cut the nasty off just enough if both it and the tequila have been in the freezer for a short time.

Mixing with orange juice, lemon juice, lime juice, a combination of the three, or with traditional margarita recipes will likely leave you with ruined ingredients unless you use only a very small amount of tequila. This stuff is just too harsh for a drink that pleases the palate.

Overall:
Folks, this is not a drink to buy when you are hosting that next party. It's foul taste will turn off all but the most experienced drinkers in your group and will turn would be drunks into carpet ruining fountains of regurgitation with the greatest of ease. If I were to buy Montezuma again it would have to be because I felt a need to give a gift to the local frat house...nobody else would be glad to have gotten this from me!

Why would they name tequila after someone from hundreds of years ago? Because if you drink much of this brew you'll be as dead as Montezuma himself...or feel like you've been sacrificed to a volcano!


Recommend this product? No

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