Do you like food that can bounce?

Do you delight in cleaning your microwave after “food explosions”?

Do you enjoy the challenge offered by cookware that is difficult to clean?

No??!!

Well then, you may wish to avoid this adorable little egg poacher! It provides all of the above-mentioned opportunities with each use!

What the Egg Poacher Looks Like

The egg poacher is simply constructed of dishwasher safe white plastic. It has two wells to hold one egg each, and a connected top with a “special locking mechanism.” Of course, the locking mechanism isn’t “special” enough to prevent explosions!

How To Use the Egg Poacher

To use the egg poacher, just add 1 tsp. of water, and pierce the yolks with a fork or knife. Two eggs cook in about 90 seconds, depending on the size of the eggs, and desired level of “doneness.” Let the eggs stand for one minute, and pierce the yolk once more, (that is, if the yolk isn’t resting on the interior of your microwave!).

Results

I'm not overloaded with culinary expertise, but I’ve used the egg poacher many times over the last year. Not once have I produced an egg even faintly resembling the perfect whites, encircling yolks like golden sunshine, that are pictured on the package of the egg poacher. At best, I’ve avoided microwave explosions by cooking them for 60 seconds, then in 10-second increments thereafter. I could boil them easier, though.

Experimentation with shorter cooking times to avoid the rubbery consistency only resulted in translucent egg whites, and visions of salmonella.

If I somehow envisioned microwave Eggs Benedict, this egg poacher relegates that concept to science fiction for now.

It's Place in my Culinary Toolbox

You may wonder why I’d give a product with such dastardly capabilities 2 stars rather than one star. I thought it only fair as I actually use the thing.

It’s true.

I’m often in a hurry, and want faster food than a drive-thru can provide. At such times, as long as the eggs don’t damage my teeth, I’ll gobble them down. Usually, I’m scanning the newspaper at the same time oblivious to the taste of the food, anyway.

With the egg poacher, I have a two-minute breakfast! That is, a minute and a half to cook the eggs, 10 seconds to douse them with tons of black pepper and Tabasco sauce, adding grated cheese if I’m feeling luxurious, and I have a full 20 seconds left to eat them!

O.K., that didn’t allow time for chewing the rubbery things, but I can do that on the way somewhere else, right?! (Glamorous, aren’t I?) :)

I usually vow to deal with cleaning the contraption and the microwave later. I consider that perhaps, one of the kids will do something stupid that day, and receive microwave-cleaning duty as punishment. None of them is so stupid as to actually eat the rubber eggs, however.

Adventures in Cleaning the Contraption

Cleaning the egg poacher itself is something even I wouldn't delegate to anyone other than a Sumo wrestler.

How could a simple plastic object retain egg particles as though they were adhered with Super-Glue? True, it’s dishwasher-safe, but this thing could go through a car wash and emerge with the egg refuse still intact.

None of my trials with various vegetable sprays, margarine, butter, or oil seemed to help in the least.

Even scrubbing it by hand, immediately after use is challenging. The eggs can grow quite cold while I’m still battling the egg poacher. This is not my idea of a quicker, gentler way.

Justification for 'Gizmo-Mania'

The fact is, in a perfect world, I would eat a couple of times a week, and not be bothered with hunger the rest of the time. Those meals would take place at some relaxed event of a dinner, preferably at an expensive restaurant.

Unfortunately, neither my body nor my budget works that way. Thus, I pick up little gizmos like the egg poacher that promise to prepare food without hassling me too much.
Then, I report to you how I’ve been suckered yet again! ;)

Ah, but it's so much fun, and occasionally, I find a gizmo that works!


Recommended: No

Amount Paid (US$): 5.00