BEST COOK BOOK EVER
Written: Jul 28 '01 (Updated Jul 31 '01)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: A better sex life..eventually. Can bring you closer together.
Cons: Some people seem to think that they DONT need a manual
The Bottom Line: Whether sex is important or not in your relationship there is always room for improvement
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| chrissypops's Full Review: New Joy of Sex : A Gourmet Guide to Lovemaking for... |
The author Alex Comfort who was born in 1920 started his writing life with poem and novels about the war. His most well known book was " The Joy of Sex" written in 1972 and even now the most talked about sex book. Hr wrote " More Joy of Sex" 1974 and the " The New Joy of Sex " in 1991, which warns about unprotected sex, HIV and AIDS. Alex Comfort was British born but in his height of his career he spent in a camp in California ,expressing his "free love" with his second wife and many of the camps residents. He reluctantly can back to England four years later because his wife "had enough". Comfort wrote "Joy of Sex" because he felt that people should be more open about sex. "This was the first step man should take to have a Euphoric life " and that " most sex books are manuals this is not a manual just a menu". Hence why is was called "The Joy of Sex, A Gourmet guide to Lovemaking"
This book comes (excuse the pun) in four sections. Starters, Main Course, Sauces and pickles, and problems. Hence the title of this opinion. The book was written in the early seventies, where " free love " ruled the country and AIDS was not around. At the time the book was regarded as " pornography" or a "optimistic " book which might lift inhibitions and reinvigorate stale marriages, so we could learn to love better. Who would of known that nearly 30 years on 12 million copies have been sold. Marriage guidance councilors, RELATE recommend this book to most of its clients who suffer from normal sexual problems within relationship.
Make no mistake this book isn't for " bored couples" or "inexperienced ". This book is for the normal sexually active person. This book was published in 1972 but many reprints where printed between 1975 and 1992.
Right we will start with the Starters menu.
The Starters is mainly about Foreplay, but goes alphabetically though from beds to Women. All written in plain English and straight to the point, Comfort writes about what sex is all about a pleasure that should be enjoyed by all. Each section is handled with careful deliberation, but goes into deep detail.
The pictures that good with it are line drawings taken from real life photos that were done by couples in the 1970s. Unfortunately because they are from real life models in the 70s you have all the hair to go with it. According to most people in that era hair was a turn on. Well not for me I'm afraid. Armpit hair in these pictures are the only thing that spoils them but hey..it was the 70s! Each picture isn't pornographic, but tasteful. Everything is drawn in with great detail and includes all body parts.
The Main Course
This section deal with intercourse and the main body turn ons again in great detail. On a section about using food, Comfort states " A meal can be an erotic experience in itself. Some people enjoy food and sex games(icecream or yogurt)on naked hot skin." Most food used has some phallic symbol to it or is used to heighten arousal. The two almost go together. Comfort also suggests that you can use your body like a table. Serving food from ever square inch. Imagine that in a restaurant !!
The wording or phrases that are used are biologically correct, no slang, and no crude words. Just plain English, with a little French thrown in. Phrases like "soixante neuf","cassolette" and a few other are sneaked into this book. I can't read French let alone say it, but if you can do a French accent, it could come into a context of its own.. mon cherie.
Dessert or Spices and Pickles
is the third course in this sexual meal. Whats described in this section are for that special occasions. Thing like light playful bondage, oral sex, open air sex and fantasies are mentioned in this section. Again plain English is used with plenty of drawings . In this section, there is about 10 pages with photos instead of drawings. They have a hint of colour and are probably a little more on the erotic side. Each photo has a caption with it. Some of these captions are thought provoking and ring true in a loving, caring relationship. I shall quote a few of my favourites,
" There are only two guidelines in good sex, Don't do anything you don't really enjoy and find out what are your partner needs and dont balk them if you can help it "
" Sex ought to be a wholly satisfying link between two affectionate people from which they emerge unanxious, rewarded and ready for more "
" A women's greatest asset is her beauty"
The third quote is my favourite. I really believe that if you feel comfortable with yourself and let your inhibitions go, sex will get better. Sex is a working process, it can take years to get near to what you want.
The forth and final "coffee" course is about the problems that we all come across in our sexual relationships. This section gives a in-depth view about medical problems like Impotence, Frigidity, Infertility, and Premature ejaculation. It tries to give advice from real life experiences of these problems and different ways to cope or overcome them. Most advice is " Self Help" but if the problem is too bad or you can't solve it as a couple there are contact numbers for councillors.
The emotional/moral problems we all face during a sexual relationship are also here. How to cope with feelings of homo/bio sexual relationships, Prostitution,and Perversion. Again Comfort offers help from real life situations and self help techniques.
In this section in the updated versions there is also a section of Venereal Diseases, and AIDS. Safe sex in this day and age is imperative. The exchange of bodily fluids, semen, blood or vaginal fluid heightens the risk of catching any V. D and more importantly AIDS. PLEASE practice safe sex and use a condom for all new sexual relationships.
Why I would recommend this book.
My Husband and I have been married for nearly 7 yrs and we've known each other for 11 yrs. Before we got married, we went though a stage where I wasn't interested in sex and we were always fighting. One night after talking to my brother who is 10 yrs older than me suggested getting a self help book. He told me that both his wife and himself often revert back to these books. As well as refreshing your mind on what goes where. You can try out the positions you have forgotten about because you got lazy and only use the "missionary" position. He also used it as erotic reading and just the fact that they would just look and talk about the pictures was enough to kick the mood off. Above all he told me that I was normal, all relationships go though a stale patch, but it what you do about it, and if you care about each other, you can compromise.
This is how I came across this book, and I would recommend it to all those couples who are starting out or at any stage of their relationship. You can keep it by the bedside, tucked under the alarm clock or in the drawer. Pull it out one night, and even if you just look and discuss, you are building on the most important part of your relationship. INTIMACY and TRUST are vital for a joyful sexual relationship, mix it in with a little experimentation and you have a good, balanced sexual relationship. Without going into too much sordid detail our relationship is 97 % good, 2 % excellent, and 1 % awful . This was the idea of Alex Comforts book and its worked for me. We still have our bad days, hence the 1 % awful but we wouldnt be human, without that percentage we could improve on.
I have 2 children , so I know how hard it is to find time for each other, especially sexually. Its important I think even if you only make love once a month, that you still keep the kisses and cuddles going. Mismatch of sexual drives are very common but we have to compromise without being abusive,or resorting to emotional blackmail. This only weakens the relationship, making way for resentment and withholding sex.
So even if you think you have nothing to improve on or you think you've done it all ..get this book, you might be pleasantly surprised.
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
chrissypops
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Location: South Yorks, UK
Reviews written: 14
Trusted by: 3 members
About Me:
I'm a mad mother with 2 children and thinking of a third !!
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