Babywise II ~ Not So Wise!
Written: Aug 17 '03 (Updated Sep 20 '05)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: ● Very helpful mealtime instructions
● Excellent structured playtime advice
Cons: ● Some of the advice is disrespectful to children
● Can be preachy
The Bottom Line: Graduates of On Becoming Babywise are best served by this 2nd book. I CAUTIOUSLY recommend it, as I deem only some of the advice worthy.
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| marybatson's Full Review: On Becoming Baby Wise Book Two Books |
On Becoming Babywise, Mr. Ezzo’s first book, was an invaluable resource to me when my son was an infant. William thrived on the Babywise method, and was sleeping eight hours a night, at eight-weeks to the day. I believe he is a happy, healthy little boy in part, because I followed Ezzo’s advice. Naturally, I picked up Babywise II when he progressed to the next stage. Short and easy to read, this book is affordable; I paid $8.99 in 2001.
Written For:
On Becoming Babywise II was written with the intent of guiding parents through the pre-toddler phase, 5 to 15 months of age. Best received by advocates of the first book, as the foundation for routine is already established. The text of this book concentrates on behavioral training and feeding.
Chapter Synopsis:
Chapter 1 – Back to the Basics
The author begins with moralizing about the pitfalls of child-centered parenting, and offers ideas on how to maintain a balance in ones marriage. Both issues were previously mentioned in the first book. In addition, he points out parenting extremes such as legalism. I tend to agree with the author’s precept, yet think this in not an appropriate forum for moral instruction.
Chapter 2 – Moral Foundations
This chapter identifies the three categories of learning, with specific concentration to moral development. Learning how to use a spoon is a basic skill, learning how to count is educational, and learning manners is moral development. Teaching a child that food should not be intentionally thrown from the highchair is an example of moral training. The key to moral development is self-control. The AAP, American Academy of Pediatrics concurs, see page 252 in Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, Bantam, 1998. Guiding a child to sit, think, and choose a way of communicating is teaching self-control. A 9-month-old baby has the ability to communicate, but not the verbal skills. Also proposed in this chapter is teaching sign language as a means of indicating desire. Such as, I want down from the highchair, rather than allowing food to be intentionally thrown as a sign, lunch is over. See Appendix B for a very basic list of signs.
Chapter 3 – Mealtime Activities
As an introduction to this chapter, the author affirms that if you believe in God, than you should offer a prayer of thanks at mealtimes. Despite the sermonizing tone of the first paragraph, the remainder of the section focuses on the essentials of feeding a pre-toddler. There are complete instructions on introducing solids, making your own baby food, finger foods, snacks, and weaning. I found this chapter to be extremely helpful.
Chapter 4 – Highchair Manners
The methods of disciplining, and how to limit freedoms to avoid re-parenting are the subjects of this chapter. Offering age-appropriate freedoms limits the need for constant correction. Constantly correcting a child disrupts their world and leads to uncertainty. The AAP recommends parents choose playthings that gradually help children expand their horizons, since objects that are too foreign, may be confusing or frightening, page 234, Caring for Your Baby and Young Child. Mr. Ezzo concentrates on mealtime training, since children spend hours a week in their highchair, and the self-control learned to properly handle food, is the same self-control needed for life outside the kitchen. I quickly realized baby hands were an issue when my son began solid foods. Following Ezzo’s advice, I held his hands underneath the highchair tray with one hand, and fed him with the other. In a few short weeks, he understood, his hands went on his lap when eating, and when they strayed, a simple reminder was all it took. This is an example of the practical advice presented in this chapter; however, I strongly disagree with the author’s recommendation when correcting undesirable behavior. Page 63, "First correct the child verbally. Next, provide an attention-getting squeeze or swat to the hand, if necessary."
As one who followed this advice when my son turned one, I can demonstrate why it does not work, and more importantly, why it should not be an acceptable form of instruction. In my case, giving a light-squeeze to the hand, worked initially, then a week went by, and I discovered it required more than a light-squeeze to get my son’s attention. Another week went by, a firm-squeeze turned into a light-swat to the hand, and then he started hitting back. According to the AAP, physical punishment teaches children it is okay to hit, and suggests the following on page 285 in Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, Bantam, 1998, "Never resort to punishments that physically or emotionally hurt your child. While you need to let her know that she’s done something wrong, this doesn’t mean you have to inflict pain. Spanking, slapping, beating, and screaming at children of any age does far more harm than good."
Straight away, I sought the pediatrician’s advice. She offered time-out as an alternative, which my son responded to immediately and positively. By applying the author’s technique, I failed to teach my son self-control, and additional problems emerged as a result. In addition, at what age does THIS style of disciplining begin? Ezzo does not specify. This book is intended for parents of pre-toddlers, 5 to 15 months old, does the author seriously expect parents to reprimand a 5-month old in the manner mentioned above? I certainly hope not! Immediate and consistent response to misbehavior speeds the learning process. It took months to teach my son hitting was wrong, conversely, he learned the stereo was off limits in just weeks by employing the time-out method.
Chapter 5 – Waketime Activities
This section discusses structured playtime, (or independent play), and non-structured playtime. The author discusses the advantages of using a playpen, as well as cautions against playpen misuse. Structured playtime was a godsend for me. As a graduate student taking night courses, I do not hit the hay until the 1:00 o’clock hour; as a result, William has become my morning alarm. Consequently, I do not shower before he wakes. Implementing structured playtime allows me personal time, and encourages him to play independently.
Chapter 6 – Some Thoughts about Discipline
In this chapter, the author outlines the following principals of instruction.
● Principal One: When you speak to your child in a way that requires an answer or an action, you should expect a response.
● Principal Two: Never give a command unless you intend for it to be obeyed.
● Principal Three: Healthy discipline is always consistent.
● Principal Four: Require eye contact when giving fact-to-face instruction.
● Principal Five: Understanding context prevents first-time obedience from becoming legalistic.
He also discusses power struggles, setting boundaries, and baby proofing the house. Ezzo makes some valid points regarding discipline especially with regard to setting limits. The goal is to train the child to respond to your voice, not to the object(s) of desire. Objects vary depending on the room, but your voice and tone should be constant.
Chapter 7 – Nap and Sleeptime Activities
General sleep problems and moving from crib to a bed are some of the topics talked about in this chapter. In addition, some common questions regarding sleep are posed, and the author responds. I have had very few sleeping issues with regard to my son, so most of the concerns did not apply to us. Traveling with William has been challenging though. Ezzo offers tips on traveling with a young child, which I found practical and useful.
Appendix A – Child Language Development
This is a very short four-page guide on language development in children up to 24-months of age.
Appendix B – Teach Your Baby to Sign
This section briefly touches on the subject of signing to your baby, and includes the 14 basic signs.
Appendix C – Hints on Potty Training
This section discusses signs of readiness and offers helpful suggestions on potty training.
Final Thoughts:
Firstly, I CAUTIOUSLY recommend this book. I believe, some of the advice is disrespectful to children, and could cause behavior problems, such as illustrated with my son. Secondly, Mr. Ezzo suggests in the introduction that graduates of his first book are best served in this book, because the foundation for routine is already established. I agree with this, and propose that this edition may be beneficial to readers if the method promoted in the original book was helpful. Also, if you are a person who is capable of reading beyond some of the authoritarian tendencies, some of the advice is worthy. On Becoming Babywise II is more Christian based than the 1998 edition of On Becoming Babywise. As a Catholic, this did not insult me, but some may find the authors writing to be too preachy. I would have rated this book 2˝ stars if it were available. Due to some of the practical advice offered, I decided to error on the positive side, rather than the negative.
On Becoming Babywise Book Two, written by Gary Ezzo, forward by Robert Bucknam, M.D.
Multnomah Publishers, Inc., 1995.
ISBN: 0-88070-807-7
Paperback format, contains 129 pages of text, is comprised of seven short chapters and three appendixes.
Additional Child Care Book Reviews:
On Becoming Babywise
Recommended:
Yes
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marybatson
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Member: Mary
Location: Phoenix
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