Better Than Beef Jerkey - Patagonia Has You Covered
Written: Apr 13 '01
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Pros: Lightweight, moisture wicking fabric that looks good and feels great
Cons: Pricey, holds mild odors, can be itchy to sensitive skin
The Bottom Line: Make this your one luxury item, and you could walk away a millionaire...
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| shazzle99's Full Review: Patagonia Capilene Underwear |
So, you really did it, eh? You completed the application, filmed a 3-minute videotape, applied for a passport, and searched through dozens of photo albums to find that perfect 2” x 2” picture of your sporty-lookin’ self. Tell me you laid down 16 Big Ones to overnight mail a big fat manila package, which had better make it to Santa Monica by 12:00 midnight, or you, my friend, are toast.
Back away from your mirror. Take off the safari hat. Wipe the motor oil from your cheeks. Despite what you’ve been taught about the nutritional value of beef jerkey, it does not a Survivor make.
Before you pack your remote location bags, do yourself a favor and buy some Patagonia capilene underwear. Between you and me, this is the kind of stuff that’ll give you the upper hand, especially if you keep it hidden from your tribe mates.
What Is Capilene?
Capilene is a very lightweight, synthetic fiber which wicks sweat from the body and dries with lightening speed. It is normally used by outdoor athletes as a base layer in both sticky hot and freezing cold conditions. Because it is thin and lightweight, Capilene is very breathable and feels quite comfortable on warm days. Likewise, it pulls sweat and moisture from the body, making it ideal for chillier days, when you want to stay warm.
What Is Patagonia?
Patagonia is one of the premier manufacturers of outdoor, adventure sport apparel. Their products are viewed as top-of-the-line, and for that, you will pay a steep price. Made to last (and very fashionable to boot), Patagonia clothing is rugged, technologically advanced, washable, and every bit of what it claims to be.
Why Will Patagonia Capilene Underwear Make Me The Last Survivor?
Here’s the thing, folks. If you get cold and wet in the rain forest, you’re basically screwed. Unless you want to spend your nights spooning with the likes of Kentucky Joe and Cowboy Colby (OK, I could spoon with Cowboy Colby), you better stay dry and warm. Patagonia Capilene will do just that, no matter how many reptile-infested rivers you cross in a day’s journey.
Why Will Patagonia Capilene Underwear Be Worthwhile AFTER I’ve Won the Million Bucks?
Though Richard Hatch is seldom seen in his underwear (He prefers his birthday suit), your Patagonia long johns will last for many years and take you through a variety of conditions and purposes.
As many Epinionators are aware, Shazzle99 (who, like the rest America, sent her 3-minute videotape to Mark Burnett via overnight mail yesterday afternoon), is an endurance runner. For me, a great day consists of a 3- or 4-mile morning jog, a 5- or 6-mile trail run during my lunch break, and another short 2-mile jog after dinner (at which time I’m accompanied by my beautiful son in his painfully expensive Baby Jogger).
That’s a lot of sweat. And that, my adventuresome friends, is a good day.
Over the past year, I’ve experimented with several different apparel brands, as well as varying polyester fabric blends. Of course, I’ve got my favorite race T-shirts, my prized nylon shorts, my funny-lookin’ purple striped wind jacket, and my thick black polyester running tights. Whatever I choose to wear during my outdoor workouts, however, I’m sure to have my Patagonia Capilene Underwear close to my skin.
On warm days, my short-sleeved Patagonia undershirt is all I wear (See that, Richard Hatch, you can still go nekkid while donning an undershirt). On cold days, I start with my Patagonia long-sleeved T-shirt, and then layer up with Polyester and fleece. Because of this comfortable, versatile, lightweight, and dry material, I never feel sweaty or clammy, and my runs are (almost always) enjoyable.
Better yet, because Capilene keeps you dry and warm, it can actually help to prevent hypothermia. Now, as you outdoor adventurers are well aware, there are indeed many times when we get ourselves into trouble and wish we’d remembered to carry a compass (or at least pay attention in survival training class).
And when you are injured or taking a break or recovering from 4 weeks of binge eating, Patagonia Capilene Underwear serves many other purposes as well. Quite frankly, this stuff is good for everyday activities enjoyed by the everyday man. Personally, I might not want to invest the very large sum of money it takes to purchase these goodies if I were just the everyday man. As it turns out, I’m an everyday woman (and then some), and I happen to think it’s comfortable.
For that, yeah, $38 is worth it.
And oh, it washes nicely too. I hope you didn’t think I’d forget that. When your only means of laundry is a nearby river and some crocodile teeth, you’ll want something that takes very little effort to clean. You can just drop these undies in the washing machine with all your other undies, add soap, rinse, and dry in your regular old household dryer. The material will be dry and wrinkle-free within a matter of minutes.
Capilene produces very little “pilling” (although I do notice some from time to time). No matter how many wash cycles you put it through, it stays soft, durable, and warm.
Some washing warnings: It is suggested that you not use bleach on this fabric. In addition, you should line-dry to get the maximum durability. I have used bleach, and I always use a machine. Personally, I don’t think it makes a drop of difference, although the fabric does get extremely hot if left in the dryer too long.
Why Will My Tribe Mates Threaten to Vote Me Off?
Synthetic fibers have a way of trapping body odor. While the moisture evaporates right into thin air, your skanky aura will linger. In my findings, Patagonia products are the best at minimizing this feature (and probably a good part of the reason why they are so expensive).
These ain’t the kind of underwear you can pick out of your laundry pile, unless, of course, you’re an obnoxious lady bartender from Long Island.
And one more thing: This stuff can get kind of itchy. Especially if you have sensitive skin, it could take a few days to get accustomed to. Otherwise, you’ll cause a huge commotion during the night, and you could get kicked in the head by the likes of Rudy Boesch.
BONUS Advice from Shazzle99
Patagonia Capilene Underwear is my personal favorite choice for a first layer, based on its lightweight comfort, its fantastic moisture wicking abilities, its easy wash-ability, and its cutting edge fashion sense. With that said, however, you needn’t always spend this kind of dough. Any polyester blend will do (almost) equally as well, although it may not last as long, and it will probably stink to the high heavens.
Recommended:
Yes
Amount Paid (US$): 35
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Epinions.com ID:
shazzle99
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Location: Philadelphia, PA
Reviews written: 18
Trusted by: 165 members
About Me:
Yo, I'm a working Mom from Philly... don't screw with me.
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