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HomeHome and GardenSpirits and BeersPorfidio Anejo Tequila
Opinion Summary
Don’t Be Fooled by Cheap Imitations – Be Fooled by EXPENSIVE Imitations!
by Sordid-1 | Apr 01 '03
Pros: Tequila will get you really, really drunk!
Cons: So will Sterno.

Return to opinion


OVERALL RATING
Product Rating: 1.0



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Comments on Don’t Be Fooled by Cheap Imitations – Be Fooled by EXPENSIVE Imitations!" (30 total) View all
  Comment Sorted by
Date Written
So sad... (Reply to this comment)
by Mr.Eyore
I remember when epinions boozehound 4-1-1 wrote that review, and I was shocked. Shocked! And ashamed, because, I have been known to partake with great enjoyment of the super-premium tequilas when, on occasion, I am looking for instant courage to start a bar fight in a fine eatery, yet I want something that will continue to warm my cockles after the last punch is thrown. And, when it's available, Porfidio Cactus has often been my super-premium tequila-type drink of choice. And yes, I have been known to indulge in an occasional $9.00 shot of the anejo too.

Now, don't I feel like a sucker. A rube. A ... a sucker. Knowing that all those flailing roundhouses were fueled by something as benign as sugar cane. It's like discovering that your boner was brought about by a viagra placebo. You know what I mean?

Of course you do.
Apr 23 '03
9:42 pm PDT

*hmmph!* (Reply to this comment)
by katybrighteyes
That Becka will say anything to try and win votes in the Eps Idol Contest (and it looks like she's gained a few after this comments post!). Has anyone asked her if she swallows the worm?

Just bouncing by,
Katy
Apr 03 '03
7:14 pm PST

Re: Re: hey there... (Reply to this comment)
by sleeper54
.
You mean we are supposed to quote accurately ??

Damn, that puts a whole new spin on it...


...tom...
Apr 03 '03
5:37 am PST

Re: Re: OMFG (Reply to this comment)
by stockholder
I have often considered legally changing my name to Jeffy, the Creepy, Disturbing, Consumer Clown, but I’m not sure if that is the sort of thing that would make Epinions.com an EVEN BETTER PLACE

NO but it would look great on a job resume.
Apr 03 '03
2:09 am PST

Re: okay... (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1

Emptywishes,

I am absolutely certain that it was not the Porfidio Anejo Tequila that caused your friend’s chlamydia, and, in all likelihood, Porfidio’s owner Martin Grassl was not to blame for her venereal disease either.

I’d almost be willing to put money on it.

Sordid-1
Apr 02 '03
10:57 am PST

Re: ... (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1

Nate,

I’m only conjecturing here, but it would be my educated guess that if Porfidio expanded their corporate focus and started bottling beer – it would probably never be proven that the new brand of Porfidio beer causes anal warts.

Same thing for if they start selling spicy hot chicken strips.

That is the just the type of corporate entity Porfidio is – a non-anal wartish company, ran by a non-anal wartish non-criminal, that sells non-anal wart generating product.

That’s the nicest tribute I can pay.

Sordid-1
Apr 02 '03
10:56 am PST

Re: Re: Re: Re: Tequila Tastes Good (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1

29th,

Neither, Jim. It’s about things that Becka has swallowed.

Sordid-1
Apr 02 '03
10:56 am PST

Re: OMFG (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1

Alameda,

I have often considered legally changing my name to Jeffy, the Creepy, Disturbing, Consumer Clown, but I’m not sure if that is the sort of thing that would make Epinions.com an EVEN BETTER PLACE for information-starved consumers to obtain SCADS of knowledge about tequila and anal warts.

That’s where my priorities lie.

Sordid-1
Apr 02 '03
10:55 am PST

Re: I have to publicly acknowledge, Ken... (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1

Boozehound Epinions’ Reviewer 4-1-1,

My egestions come with ease and form a natural symmetry between the inside of my mind and my ethereal cyberspace canvas. It all melds together, forming a combination as common and natural as Porfidio Anejo Tequila and anal warts.

Not that Porfidio Anejo Tequila actually DOES cause anal warts. Let us be clear, I think there is an excellent chance it does not. Equally likely is the possibility that Porfidio’s owner Martin Grassl is not a leading cause of anal warts. Personally, I am very, very open to the idea that neither Porfidio nor Martin Grassl cause anal warts. However, if science DOES find some sort of correlation between anal warts and Porfidio and/or Martin Grassl, and numerous reports of Martin Grassl’s (PURELY HYPOTHETICAL) preponderance towards anal wart generation appear all throughout the Mexican press, such reports should be ignored and swept under the rug. Because quoting journalistic sources is wrong and should subject you to threats of litigation.

That’s where I stand on the issue! (Of course, due to the anal warts, I cannot sit. Pass me another shot of Porfidio, please.)

Sordid-1
Apr 02 '03
10:55 am PST

Re: Re: Re: Tequila Tastes Good (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1

Doctor Devience,

Now I see why you have earned your name.

Sordid-1
Apr 02 '03
10:54 am PST

Re: Re: Re: Tequila Tastes Good (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1

Counsel,

Becka should make all top ten lists. If you refuse to include Becka on your top ten list, I shall sue you. If you quote from a publication that suggests Becka’s exclusion from a top ten list, you shall be sued. Resistance is futile. You shall be litigated.

Suefully yours,
Sordid-1
Apr 02 '03
10:54 am PST

Re: hey there... (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1

Sleeps,

You misquoted me. I specificially said, “…are working towards obliterating Epinions from his dilgent face.

Get it straight.

Hooray for buttons of blue!
Sordid-1
Apr 02 '03
10:53 am PST

Re: Okay... (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1

LC,

What do you mean sucking up to 4-1-1? I was condemning him for his wrong-headed anti-Porfidio stance. He is wrong for quoting news reports that say things I don’t like and, clearly, should be sued.

Furthermore, you shouldn’t chastise Becka.

Sordid-1
Apr 02 '03
10:53 am PST

Re: Tequilla (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1

Pamela,

Careful what you say. I very well might have my lawyer right you nasty letters for your subversive, anti-tequila words.

Sordid-1
Apr 02 '03
10:53 am PST

Re: Tequila Tastes Good (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1

Becka,

Sometimes swallowing your words can be a bitter medicine. But not as bitter as that other stuff it would appear you have swallowed.

Those other people who commented on your comment are disgusting and not at all helpful. Just stick with me, Becka.

Sordid-1
Apr 02 '03
10:52 am PST

. (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1
Accionista,

Gustan a montar los perros.

Gracias,
Sordid Uno
Apr 02 '03
10:52 am PST

Re: ouch (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1

Stockholder,

In light of this new information, I have updated #3 of the top ten list. Perhaps I should have made it a top eleven list, though, one per anal wart.

Sordid-1
Apr 02 '03
10:51 am PST

okay... (Reply to this comment)
by emptywishes
it may not cause anal warts, but when my friend drank some of this and woke up with a headache AND chlamydia!
Apr 01 '03
10:57 pm PST

Re: Re: Re: Tequila Tastes Good (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate


Hey, c'mon!

Let's stay on-topic here... Is this a review about a viscous, foul and scummy liquid that men wouldn't touch and women would rather spit out than have to gag down, or is this about sperm?!

Apr 01 '03
3:34 pm PST

OMFG (Reply to this comment)
by alamedasims
ROFLMAO. You've outdone yourself this time, Sordid. You should change your nic to "THE" 1.
Apr 01 '03
11:28 am PST

I have to publicly acknowledge, Ken... (Reply to this comment)
by 4-1-1
That you really can egest gobs of... heaps of... chunks of the most stinging yet hilarious verbal laxations. Darn near scares me to death. To mention anal warts in the same breath of Porfidio ...well, that just cudgels my imagination with Shock and Awe imagery.

This was quite a satisfying trick for an April Fool's Day. I love you, in a disturbed consumer sort of you. You da man.

Tom / 4-1-1

Apr 01 '03
10:45 am PST

Re: Re: Tequila Tastes Good (Reply to this comment)
by drdevience
Nothin' says lovin' like excuse me while I go spit.

Doc
Apr 01 '03
10:08 am PST

Re: Re: Tequila Tastes Good (Reply to this comment)
by counsel
If she does, then she gets on MY top ten list.
Apr 01 '03
8:14 am PST

hey there... (Reply to this comment)
by sleeper54
.
When I am in these 'unusual' sections and unsure how to rate, I just follow the example of those fine users that have that little blue button by their names . . .gawd, I'm struggling to stifle that smilie...


you said...
". . . are diligently working towards obliterating his face from the reviews of Epinions."

I am concerned for 4-1-1/Tom's face. He is already severely lacking in appropriate facial features given his user-pic...


And all this talk of 'swallowing' is getting me hard. Thanks Ken . . .ladies...

Oh! wait . . . . . .it's gone . . .damn!


...tom...
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila." —Mitch Ratcliffe
Apr 01 '03
6:43 am PST

Re: Tequila Tastes Good (Reply to this comment)
by ladycynic
"Of all the things I've swallowed, and lord have I swallowed a lot"

Um Becka...you swallow?

EW!
Apr 01 '03
6:05 am PST

Okay... (Reply to this comment)
by ladycynic
This is not helpful! Need to make sure and explain my rating here...NH for suckin up to 4-1-1

Oops, hit the wrong damn button. But at least I have an excuse...I had frikkin brain surgery for pete's sake!!

As always, where the hell am I?
LadyCynic
Apr 01 '03
6:03 am PST

Tequilla (Reply to this comment)
by thedragonweyr
tastes exactly like you would expect something fermented from nasty old mescal bushes to taste. Adulterating it with the products of cane sugar fermentation could only improve the stuff. I'll stick to my 18-year-old single malts, they put a nice shine on my scales.

Pamela
Apr 01 '03
4:57 am PST

Tequila Tastes Good (Reply to this comment)
by LatteChick
Of all the things I've swallowed, and lord have I swallowed a lot, I can't say Tequila is among them.

~becka~
Apr 01 '03
3:44 am PST

Re: ouch (Reply to this comment)
by LatteChick
Ewwwie!
Apr 01 '03
3:42 am PST

ouch (Reply to this comment)
by stockholder
Esto era una revisión pura del genio pero usted necesitará poner al día el número tres en su lista superior 10.

Puedo remontar la causa de los 11 de mis cajas de verrugas anales de nuevo a Porfidio Anejo Tequila.


accionista
Apr 01 '03
1:51 am PST
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