gluesniffer311's Full Review: Pump Up the Valuum by NOFX
NOFX are punk rock veterans. People may say Green Day or Blink-182 started the punk-pop movement, but it was actually NOFX and The Vandals. The only difference is NOFX never tried to get on the radio. They wanted what they have now. Complete and utter underground success. Pump Up the Valuum is a classic NOFX release.
It opens with the under one minute familiar chord song And Now For Something Completely Similar. There isn't much to speak of here. In the lyrics it speaks of the fact that the song sounds almost exactly like their song Linoleum.
Track two is Take Two Placebos and Call Me Lame. This is my personal favorite on this cd. It is a song about how hollow and shallow (hehe, shallow is just hollow with an 's') people can be. It is painful song with a powerful guitar intro. My favorite line is You get something free, and then you sell it to the poor. Toward the end you hear Melvin scream Just take two!. A really good song.
What's the Matter With Parents Today? is the third song, and sequel to What's the Matter With the Kids Today?. In this version, it speaks of how parents are trying to be cool to impress their children. It actually makes sense, and is a cool song. Mom and dad, I think you ought to quit smoking so much pot, and quit hanging with my friends. Maybe it's just a passing phase. What the matter with my parents these days?.
My second favorite song is the heavy handed, hard hitting, angry, anti-record company song Dinosaurs Will Die. This is the heaviest song on the record, and is a scream along. It's a big middle-finger to the record companies of America. We're gonna kill the seven record deal. Make records that have more than one good song. Prehistoric music industry. Extinction never felt so good.
Thank God for Mondays is your classic NOFX (aka NoFX, aka No F*cking Straight Edge) song that's made to laugh. It spends it's entire duration making fun of people who can't handle the Friday / Saturday party scene.
Clams Have Feeling Too, track six, is a funny song which mocks the vegetarian lifestyle. It has a light, melodic guitar synonymous with NOFX. It also makes fun of old people. No chowder for you. Clams have feelings too. Actually, they don't have central nervousness.
The dirtiest song is Louise, which is the third in a trilogy of songs about lesbianism. It is also the first of three songs on this record that deals with the topic of lesbianism. She knows that girls just want to have fun, with four piercings in the side of her labia. This is song of the lighter stuff from this song. Some of the heavier is Slut you think you've seen your master mean? You better lick my puss and assh*le clean. Treat my cl*t like bubblegum. B*tch, make me cum. One of the last lines, which I won't add, deals with drinking urine as well. Not for the weak of heart, but for any true NOFX fan.
Stranger Than Fishin' is a song just over a minute, with surprising good guitar work. It is all about how much NOFX hates Bad Religion. The sad thing is NOFX is signed to Epitaph. (Epitaph is owned by Brett Gurewitz?, guitarist of Bad Religion.)
My third favorite song is track nine. The Pharmacist's Daughter. It is a twisted ballad about a man in love with a girl because she has access to prescription drugs. I'm in love with her, the pharmacist's daughter. She's got my love, I get her drugs.
Track ten is a weaker song, Bottles to the Ground. This song never really appealed to me. It's a pop-punk song, and to be honest I just don't like it.
Total Bummer follows, and is another song that I never really caught onto, although it is better than Bottles to the Ground. It has a decent bass intro, and a great line. That being, Why won't anybody f*ck me?
My Vagina is the second lesbian song on the record. Simply put, it's about a man that has a sex change so he can become a lesbian. It's quirky and irreverent. A very classic NOFX song. However, if you didn't like Louise, i can guarentee you won't like this. And when I wipe my as$, I go from front to back, because I don't want a bladder infection.
Track thirteen is an ode to drug use entitled Herojuana. It has a nice mellow guitar intro. The best line is, The only real drug problem is scoring real good drugs.
The ender, Theme From a NOFX Song is actually a polka-like song, and is the finale of the lesbianism for the record. It goes into detail explaining each member of the band. It's the longest song on the CD, but it's a good one.
In conclusion, this is a great record. I suggest if you want to find out about NOFX, you start here. If you're a fan of the modern punk-pop, or are tired of it, but like style, buy this one.
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