Are you able to tell when someone is lying to you? Maybe you can if you know the person well and have observed them for a while, but how do you do when it comes to a stranger seeking your business or to gain your trust? Do you know what to look for? The author of Reading People, Jo-Ellen Dimitrius, Ph.D, (note the correct spelling)has become widely acclaimed for her jury selection consulting advice in famous court cases such as O.J. Simpson’s and Rodney King’s most recently and has written this fascinating book to show us how we, too, can be more able to read people.

I’ve always been very attentive and observant, and I’ve also been fascinated by how particular aspects of a person’s appearance, actions, voice, or behavior forecast his thoughts and actions. As a result, I’ve amassed a very large subconscious database of various human characteristics and what they are likely to mean in various people under different circumstances. This vast database is the foundation of my intuitive responses to people and situations. (pp 217, Listening to Your Inner Voice, Chapter 10)

Our intuition, what is sometimes referred to as a “sixth sense” or “woman’s” intuition, is, according to the author, almost always our inactive memory suddenly being remembered again, stirred up from our past by a similarity to a present situation or person. Since we all have a memory, if not brain damaged, then we all have intuition. It’s just a matter of being aware of what you are observing so that it is stored in your memory.

Are Psychics to be Trusted?

Ms. Dimitrius explains that psychics are simply very good people readers. Like her they draw on their huge subconscious memory to intuit what a person wants or thinks they need to hear. I’ve never personally been to one, but that makes sense to me. The “amazing” psychics you see on television commercials look like they just get their knowledge out of thin air, or the spirit world actually, but the commercials cut away the intuitive guesswork they’ve had to do from conversing with people.

The author doesn’t say not to trust psychics, but only to realize that anybody can become “psychic,” in a way. She encourages us to build up our memory database by observation and reflection on what’s going on around us. We can learn to trust our hunches when we decide to recognize and respect our inner voices. That doesn’t mean to simply go with your gut feeling without a thought, but to not dismiss it, either.

The Contents

There are twelve chapters of about twenty pages each. It begins with her Introduction: A Passion For People, goes on to Chapter 1, Reading Readiness, where she gets us in the mindset that we can and need to be able to read people. From there she explains all the many things we need to observe about body language, people’s environment, what people don’t say with what they do say, questions we should ask to understand people quickly, how peoples’ actions reveal their feelings about what they’re saying and how finally to look at ourselves critically.

She points out that most of us spend more time thinking about what we’re going to have for dinner than about the impression we want to make on the person with whom we’re eating (pp 233, Looking in the Mirror, Chapter 11).

My Impression of the Book

I really did enjoy this book. I’ve always been a people watcher with a writer’s eye for detail, although sometimes I’ve been too preoccupied to observe. I can be too caught up in worrying about life that I don’t pay attention to my intuition. This book has helped me to realize that I can nurture my “gift”of intuition along to make my life less worrisome and vulnerable to bad judgment. I wasn’t too surprised by the author’s list of characteristics for different emotions like fear and anger, but they were quite interesting.

You will want to read this book if only to remind yourself that you have intuition and you should use it as she suggests. Be forewarned! It may be life-changing if you decide to forth effort to improve your memory skills. However, whether you will want to think about the impression you make on a friend or stranger is up to you. I think if you’re just yourself and not trying to be something you’re not is much better, but maybe her point is that we are more ourselves when we are more fully aware of what we are saying, feeling, observing and how we present ourselves to others. Makes sense to me! :-)





Recommended: Yes