This is my entry in the second annual “Resurrecting the Oldies” write- off, sponsored by Epinions member Msmorvay. Enjoy!



Searching for a book to use for this write- off took a little bit of time and effort. I had to dig through my stack of unread books and previously read books in my quest to find a book old enough (written in 2000 or earlier) to qualify. This meant that I couldn’t write a review on any of the newer political books I have been anxious to read. I couldn’t use anything on the recent best- seller lists either. I had to reach a little further back in my stack to find a book appropriate for this write- off.

After much consideration, I decided I should select a book that contains information that a large number of people could relate to. The book I chose is one about sex and is geared mostly toward men. It’s called The Rules for Getting Laid, written by David Graff and Ray Schwartz. Published in 1999, this book explains to men, in 37 simple steps, what it takes to get a woman into bed; how to keep her there; how to formulate a strategy for scoping out and pursuing woman; and how to keep one’s options open to ensure a lifetime of abundant sex.

Basic Contents of This Book:

This 158- page paperback book is divided into the following “chapters”:

Disclaimer
Introduction by Karen Krizanovich
Author’s Introduction
The Six Problems Inside You
Sex Costs too Much!
Short- Term Relationships vs. Long Term
1. Make her Feel Special and She’ll Give you Sex
2. Show your Romantic Interest Right Away
3. Make Rejection your Best Friend
4. Don’t Share Everything about Yourself
5. Initiate, Initiate, Initiate
6. The Woman Controls the Sex- Always
7. Listen at Her
8. Practice Where your Ego isn’t on the Line
9. Never Expect a Woman to Call you Back
10. Always be Prospecting
11. Tips on Asking for her Phone Number and Getting the Date
12. Don’t Pin all your Hopes on one Woman
13. Always be Willing to Walk
14. Get one Nut off First
15. Never Grovel for Sex
16. Be Sexually Imaginative
17. Don’t be her Therapist, Confidant, or Buddy
18. Manage your Hygiene
19. Use Condoms
20. Watch your Back
21. Cut your Losses/Break up Quickly
22. Control all Variables
23. Tips on Asking for the Date
24. Kissing her for the First Time
25. For Long- Term Relationships: Sacrifice
26. For Long- Term Relationships: Always and Forever find new ways to Delight her.
27. Always Act with an Outcome in Mind
28.Avoid Fighting with a Woman
29. Have Style
30. Never hit a Woman
31. Blow off Steam away from her
32. Make it Look like you are not Working
33. Make it Work for you
34. Don’t Expect a Woman to have Integrity the same way you do
35. Rules for Handling Women Younger than you
36. Only Answer Questions
37. Never Stop Learning about Seduction
Conclusion
Rules at a Glance

Authors Graff and Schwartz start off the book with some introductory words by a woman, Karen Krizanovich, a noted sexpert and journalist. They then spend some time warming the reader up by talking about six common problems that men express in their mission to find sex; the high costs of dating; and the decision between seeking out a short- term or long- term relationship.

Next comes “the rules”. There are a total of thirty- seven of them, and they each cover between one and four pages. Starting with the first chapter, “Make her feel Special and she’ll give you Sex”, the authors cut right to the chase and explain the methods that are more than likely to help a man reach his goal of bountiful sex.

The chapters that follow include a mixture of what to do with a woman; what not to do with a woman; how to keep passion strong; how to adjust your attitude and control anger; how to protect against diseases; etc. The two authors are direct and don’t hold back the way they feel. They state exactly what they believe are the secrets to getting laid as much as possible.

Besides advice in getting sex, the authors are also careful to point out the consequences of sex. One chapter explains, in strong, firm language, the importance of always using a condom in your sexual escapades, even if you think condoms are an ugly blemish on the pathway to great sexcapades. They also offer important words of advice against ever hitting a woman and always making sure that your partner consents before you proceed to mount her.

The book wraps up with a few words of advice on integrity; dealing with younger women; and looking at your sex life as a continuous learning experience. The authors finally bring the book to a close with a summary conclusion on what makes a “Rules” man, followed by a quick rundown of the thirty- seven rules, at a glance.

Final Thoughts:

Getting laid and living a life of flourishing, copious sex, is a goal that many men set for themselves at an early age. Turning eighteen and becoming emancipated from the confines of the parental home, young men set out for college or for a life of work and social adventure, anxiously awaiting all the women and the dozens of sexual encounters that are just waiting to be experienced for the first time.

What many young men quickly learn is that the idea of quick and easy sex isn’t quite as fast and simple as they first imagined. There is far more to the game than meets the eye, and this is where authors David Graff and Ray Schwartz feel they have found the keys to sexual happiness. According to the authors, sex isn’t really that difficult to obtain, if you know what you’re doing and know the appropriate way to behave.

Reading the advice in this book, I found myself chuckling from time to time and also nodding in agreement at other moments. Some of the advice is obvious. For example, you should avoid farting, burping, swearing excessively, etc., when you are in the company of a prospective sex mate. This behavior is fine around the guys, but it won’t go very far in helping you score some nookie with the opposite sex. Other advice is obvious and also very sound, like protecting against STD’s; controlling your temper so you never lose your cool and physically strike a woman; and making sure to use proper hygiene at all times.

Other words of wisdom aren’t so obvious at first, but much of it rings true. For example, one common mistake that men make is to start up a budding friendship with woman with the hope that it will lead to sex later on down the road. The authors accurately explain how this method generally doesn’t work because 1. The woman will look at you as a friend first, and she won’t want to take a chance on ruining the relationship by having sex with you and 2. She will likely disqualify you as a potential lover because you didn’t display a romantic interest from the get- go. You should also avoid being a woman’s therapist: let her talk and agree with her, adding an occasional nod here and there, but don’t try to solve her problems. Even though it seems like the woman wants you to do this, she really doesn’t want to hear words of advice. She just wants you to pay attention to her. I have observed men going through these ordeals on countless occasions. They cannot understand why their female buddy doesn’t want sex. “I have done everything right”, they will say, “I have listened to her, offered my advice, and helped her all I can, but she doesn’t respond when I try to make a move”. Like the authors state, this strategy is doomed from the start. If you have a romantic interest, let it be known immediately and your chances for sex will improve dramatically.

Besides the good points, though, “The Rules” are not without any trace of silliness and laughable advisement. The section on how to get your first kiss is a little too brief and too simplistic. There are all sorts of ways to get the initial kiss, and they are not necessarily limited to what the authors recommend. Also, the approaches that the authors recommend to avoid in seeking the first kiss are often obvious and/or insulting to the intelligence of most readers. I’m not sure why the authors included this and certain other chapters. These things cannot possibly be explained in only a couple of pages without sounding naïve and stupid.

This brings me to another complaint about “The Rules”. I haven’t read anything else by these two authors, so why should I or anyone else necessarily believe anything they say? Yes, most of what they talk about in this book is straightforward and easy to understand. But do they have actual studies to back this up, or did they draw their conclusions strictly from their own experience and that of a few other men? In the book, they make an infrequent mention of other men who have had these common problems with finding sex and they make you think there was a large study group involved and that they led a social experiment or two dealing with sex. But there is no reference or footnote section and nowhere do they directly make this assertion, leading me to believe that they base their findings on the experiences of just a few dozen (or fewer) men. And that would not be enough to qualify as a valid scientific experiment.

Another complaint I must make is with the sloppiness and the poor grammar used in this book. It appears that the two authors composed this book quickly, took it to a publisher with minimal proofreading and no editing whatsoever, and then proceeded to market the book to on- line stores and other retail outlets. To give you some examples of what I’m talking about, Chapter 23 and 24 are both numbered as 24. Chapter 29 and 30 are both numbered as 30. There are also many typos throughout and the sentence and composition quality would convince most high school English teachers that the end of the world was near. The writing skill exhibited by these two authors is atrocious, to put it nicely. But one has to keep in mind the type who is most likely to read this book: young men between 18 and 25 who couldn’t get laid if each of them was the only man on a deserted island overrun with hundreds of sex-crazed beauties.

Like the authors stress, we men should all admit to being a bunch of horny dogs and stop acting otherwise. Don’t try to pretend you don’t want an endless abundance of sex- we are all men and we all think basically the same way as far as sex goes. Some of us want sex with many partners. Some of us want lots of sex for life with one partner. But whatever course you take, the fact remains that all men crave sex. Women often crave it too, but they have a much easier time obtaining it. They don’t have to sell themselves the way men do. A woman (although some of them are unaware of this fact) can usually get sex at the drop of a hat. Men, on the other hand, have to present themselves as a salesman. We must act romantically; make our woman feel special; invest time and money on dates; convince the woman we are not using them and are interesting in more than sex (even if this isn’t true at all); and ensure them we are not psychos or possible rapists. All of this is part of the selling effort to get laid. The woman is the customer- the person who has all the control and the final say. We must convince her that our “product” is more special and more unique than the next guy if we have any chance of hearing the word formed by those three wonderful letters, y-e-s.

David Graff and Ray Schwartz feel they have the answer to every lonely, horny man’s problems with this book, “The Rules for Getting Laid”. For myself, I think a book like this one should be taken with a grain of salt. There is no shortage of women out there, in spite of some men who believe to the contrary and treat every woman they meet as the one and only specimen on the planet they will ever have a chance to sleep with. Some of the advice presented here could prove to be useful for some men, depending on one’s level of hormones and level of success in pursuing women. For me, I will chalk this one up as my contribution to public service. Reading this lets me know what life must be like for the underprivileged men among us who couldn’t get laid with a blow up doll and a bottle of cheap wine. If you know a poor sap like this, then “The Rules for Getting Laid” would make a great stocking stuffer. Otherwise, I recommend passing on this self- help guide. The world is overflowing with an ample supply of horny women. A real man doesn’t need a book to figure out what steps to take to get from point “A” to point “bed”.




This concludes my entry in the second annual "Resurrecting the Oldies" write- off. Be sure to read the write- off contributions from these other Epinions participants:

Stephen Murray
kld718
Jadzia66
Dionne25
jankp
msmorvay
inthelilypond
ed_grover
treeseed
daddym
AliventiAsylum
damieng
scratchit
Bryan_Carey
Platonism
Saxguy
Kamel622
trailhound
sblaydes
captaind
Hist



Recommended: No