kellydeal's Full Review: David Sedaris - Santaland Diaries & Seasons Greeti...
***This review pertains to the story Santaland Diaries as seen in his book Barrel Fever***
Back in 1992 when David Sedaris cracked the mic on NPR’s Morning Edition to read The Santaland Diaries, he changed the way thousands of people view this holiday forever.
The Santaland Diaries recounts his experience as a 33 year old in-need-of-work New York City Newbie and his adventures as “Crumpet” the spritely Christmas Elf in Macy’s Winter Wonderland. This story is a perfect example of David Sedaris’ ability to take lemons and make them into some sort of insane power-packed Citrusy Hot Totty that’ll make your head spin with it’s hilarious outlook on a homogenized holiday.
I suppose you can assume something out of the ordinary and worth writing about would be bound to happen to a grown man parading around a department store in an Elf costume. But as obvious as it would seem, nothing really extraordinary happens. Grumpy holiday shoppers stand in line with video cameras waiting for their Kodak moment while Santa's Little Helpers stand by to witness the fun – end of story, right?
Not if David Sedaris has anything to say about it. He may not be covering any groundbreaking events, but it’s the way he uses his wit and warped use of satire to show us brilliant insights into human nature. It’s a little more sinister outlook on just how out of control this holiday has become. As expected, all of the usual holiday antics take place – grumpy shoppers become even grumpier when they voluntarily stand in the longest line of all to see their hero Santa Claus. They wait, sometimes for hours, just for a few brief minutes with the star of the show only to be ushered to the next line. It is here they pay for their overpriced Macy’s pic, only to get word from Crumpet (Sedaris) that their photo will arrive in the mail somewhere around August.
A few sentences later Sedaris admits to the reader it really won’t be August before these shoppers receive their picture - but he is not totally exaggerating. The photo will arrive by January – way after the holidays. He tells the parents August because naturally it evokes much more of a reaction. He can practically see their faces turn the color of egg nog before they ask for a refund.
And don’t think for a second you have to be any ordinary shopper to fall victim to the wicked ways of Crumpet. When Phil Collins shows up with his family to visit St. Nick, Crumpet is more than happy to announce to the people waiting in line they just missed this famous star, but if they hurry they can catch him coming out of Santaland in the photo-paying line. Of course Sedaris feigns ignorance when the irate boss shows up asking who was giving out directions to pester the musician.
Mean spirited? Perhaps, but he takes a lot of abuse as well. Including various obscenities shouted at him about his Elfin costume. He also has to remain quiet as he watches parents threaten their children into smiling ‘cause mommas paying good money for this picture. He even endures those ignorant enough to ask to be pointed in the line for what they deem an “ethnically correct” Santa Claus.
But Sedaris doesn’t need to use this kind of abuse to justify his telling of the events. Part of the fun of his writing is that he writes without shame. He actually makes the reader feel a bit guilty for not feeling any shame at all when they laugh along with him. And even though David Sedaris is a self professed self centered "typist", his humor is consistently and howlingly funny without being pretentious.
Before you attempt your holiday shopping and before you stand in line to see Santa this year - pick yourself up a copy of this story (as published Barrel Fever or coupled as a gift pack with Seasons Greetings). You just may need the pre-holiday pep talk.
Or, pick it up and save it until January when your credit card bills arrive and you’ll really need a good laugh.
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