Illiterate Write-off: Great! I love it!
Written: Sep 03 '00 (Updated Sep 04 '00)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Lots of Native Americans!
Cons: This is the worst book I've ever read!
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| caravan70's Full Review: Savage Devotion Books |
(Disclaimer: This review is part of the Illiterate Write-off, which I'm participating in belatedly because of some ISP problems. The views expressed may or may not be my own. The awful prose, however, is all mine.)
I found Savage Devotion by chance... I'd only read 17 other titles by Cassie Edwards that began with "Savage," and I was lucky to find this one! This is the best yet! I was drawn in by the poem that begins this book:
She was such a thing of beauty,
As I saw her standing there,
I knew that to win her love,
Would be something quite rare."
She probably wasn't "just 17," as the Beatles would have it, heh heh, but I loved that poem! To rhyme "there" with "rare" was genius! And I could never dance with another after reading the fifth paragraph of this fine novel:
White Shield listened as his grandfather spoke in a deep, authoritative voice about what was now being called the "Business Panic of 1893." Especially affected was the city of Tacoma, where the markets had collapsed and business was paralyzed.
We've got White Shield and Night Fighter here, great Native American names if I've ever heard them! Conrad Richter couldn't have done better, or Ted Turner! Go Braves! And I was struck by the historical perspective... didn't know there were Skokomish Indians pouring money into the NYSE back then! No casinos yet, ya know! Somebody should have tomahawk-chopped this fine example of purple prose:
"I saw much fear in your eyes when you saw me," he whispered. "I must prove to you that there is no reason to fear White Shield. I will even help you find your loved ones."
Gotta love the third person! I liked this even better than watching Emmitt Smith on The Last Word! Hell, I liked it better than the Susan Polis Schutz-style quotations that open every chapter (save the Emerson stuff, which is taken out of context!)
So as to plot, we've got a financially independent San Francisco woman who for some unfathomable reason goes to Tacoma to find herself. Ahem. Sailing on a yacht in Puget Sound, and rescued by a "savage to be feared," Janice gives herself over to "untold passion, and his wild heart." Great! Gotta love that! No waiting 50 years, like Florentino Ariza! Gotta have it now! You've also got my favorite pickup line:
"Come with me to my lodge," Blue Rain said.
Hell, I was ready to accompany Blue Rain to any lodge he chose then! Great! Shades of Charles Boyer, who of course never said anything of the kind! (Please note that this sentence will cancel out any homophobia that some folks found in one of our write-off entries, although I'm a confirmed fan of the fairer sex.) And his wife, Morning Sunshine, wore a wonderful "buckskin dress"! (Isn't this a great second disclaimer? I was all for Morning Sunshine. Damn... I'm starting to feel like Zappa in "Are You Hung Up?") As does every woman in this novel! Tremendous! Lots of buckskin!
And I don't need Cleland any more, or Frank Harris, or Radclyffe Hall, if I were so inclined! I've got Edwards, and who needs more? Such titillating passages as this are enough to send my seismograph indicator sailing up to 8+:
She closed her eyes and let the heat of passion sweep her away on clouds of ecstasy, then cried out when something even more beautiful happened inside her. It was as though she was flooded with sensation, which momentarily swept away all consciousness of time, place or worries.
I'm not sure what that beautiful thing was, but it certainly sounds great! And there was more buckskin, too! And White Shield's "lean, sinewy buttocks," and Janice's "taut-tipped breasts"! White Shield even "fill[s] her more deeply with his heat, moving slowly now, with acute deliberation"!
It's with acute deliberation that I took a Colibri to this candidate for future residence at Fresh Kills as fast as I could! I could go on, but why? Buy this book now! Pour your money into penny stocks! Try to get your hands on fresh porcini mushrooms in February! And post illiterate opinions on this piece of pure marmoset by-product post-haste! I can't wait, and neither can you!
Please be sure to read the other illiterate and most likely offensive, from the comments I've been reading, opinions posted by my partners in crime: Juliette; Momento-Mori; Marvienhill; that-guy; miridunn; andrew_hicks; kboo; lars_lindahl; cwainwright; dustygold; brundledan; furie; wokelstein; knix, megasoul, and the illustrious ringleader, ZentropaJK.
Recommended:
No
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Epinions.com ID:
caravan70
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Member: Darren Shupe
Location: Sacramento, California
Reviews written: 35
Trusted by: 77 members
About Me:
Books, music, cans, bottles, CRV, truffles (both kinds), port, uncertainty, something good.
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