Ask ten Texans where to go to find the best waterpark in the Lone Star State, and I guarantee you that the answer you'll hear more than any other is "Schlitterbahn, of course!" Schlitterbahn is a Texas classic and over the years, millions have Texans have endured the sweltering summers by doffing their duds and doing the waterslide splash town at Schlitterbahn's original "water theme park" near San Antonio in the town of New Braunfels.

Last summer, Schlitterbahn opened a totally new theme park on South Padre Island, called Schlitterbahn Beach Waterpark -- a name that's quite appropriate given that the location is, in fact, on the beach. So even if you get tired of water rides and water slides, you can just stroll across the dune and lay out on the beach, soaking up some south Texas sunshine while the kiddos keep slip-slidin' away.

I took my family to Schlitterbahn Beach Waterpark about two weeks ago, and my daughter absolutely loved the place. I liked it too, even though it is a smaller, more tightly arranged park than the bigger park in New Braunfels. It's also a bit pricey, but I didn't mind that too much because the people at Schlitterbahn are not jerks! This is an important point if you're used to big corporate run theme parks that charge out the yin-yang for every single thing and then have the gall to operate rides inefficiently with long lines and rude personnel (think Six Flags). The difference is night and day.

I appreciate that Schlitterbahn does not charge me for parking. Heck, I'm paying $26 a head to go in the park, it's not like they're missing a chance to make a buck off me.

I appreciate that Schlitterbahn lets me bring a picnic cooler into the park. This is in huge contrast to parks that treat me like a criminal just for trying to bring a sandwich in with me (think Anheuser-Busch or Disney theme parks).

I appreciate that when I want to buy food on site at the park, the management is savvy enough to provide truly top-flight quality food at reasonable prices -- I'll get to talking about Schlitterbahn's Shrimp Haus in a few minutes -- the point I'm making here is that you can eat well at Schlitterbahn while the best food at most corporate theme parks is trashy low-quality swill served up at ridiculously high prices by surly underpaid seasonal help. The guys at Schlitterbahn must have been to a Six Flags or Sea World or even a Disney theme park because they do things differently -- they do things better!

But first things first...let's head over to the locker room and get changed because I want to dive right into the features of this water park...

The Water Rides
First things first. Get acquainted with the Rio Aventura. That's Schlitter-speak for the wide, gently rolling tube that circles its way around and through the park, touching every other ride. (I say gently rolling, but there are some sections that have waves and twists).

You don't walk around and climb stairways at this park. You jump into Rio Aventura and float your way to the rides you want, taking the offshoot branches to get in the floating line for whatever other attraction you want to try. It's a cool concept, and its a lot more fun than having to stand in long lines that never move.

The only place at Schlitterbahn that I can recall having to get out of the water is when we wanted to try The Tempest -- for that, you have to climb some stairs. The Tempest is worth the climb though. Schlitterbahn calls it a "water coaster", and the sensation really is like a roller coaster. You start off with a very steep, long drop and then jets blast you up a slope, and you slide and twist down the other side, then drop -- you guessed it -- back into the Rio Aventura, where you can meander your way on to the next attraction.

There are a couple of rides that are pretty similar -- like Gale Force and Sea Blaster -- both of which shoot you up a short inclined slope. It's fun to try to fight the force and stay down and on the slope as long as possible. It's kind of like riding a bucking bronco though in that, sooner or later, the bronco (or the water jet, as the case may be) is going to win. Fight it if you want, but get used to getting conquered.

Families with little kids should note that some of the bigger rides -- especially those that use water jets to blast you up the slopes -- have size requirements, so the smaller folks will need to sit it out (not always happily or willingly). There's still things for them to do and ways for them to get wet, just not as many options as there will be for the older kids. My daughter is pretty young, and she doesn't like hearing "Sorry, maybe you can ride it next year." That's really my major complaint with this park -- I'd really like to see more activities for the littlest people.

Food with a View
Two thumbs up on the food!

Even if you're not into water parks, I still recommend a visit to Schlitterbahn just to eat at their Shrimp Haus restaurant. Yes, it truly is that good. The quality of the food and service ranks right up with any of the area's top restaurants.

The only caveat I have about it is that you better like shrimp, since that's far and away the king of the menu, not to mention being the draw that can pull in people who are not visiting the place just to get wet. The sign outside says "101 ways to serve shrimp", and I chalked that up to hyperbole until I actually got there. Now I didn't bother to actually count the number of ways they served shrimp, but there was a shrimp boat load of 'em!

...and they were good!

I ordered up grilled stuffed shrimp with a chilpotle chili sauce, and boy oh boy, was it ever tasty! Big shrimps wrapped in bacon and seared to perfection with a spicy tangy sauce that never overwhelmed but that carried an unmistakable zing and zip that did a tango across my tongue. Served up with a cool, frosty bottle of Shiner Bock and I was in gustatory heaven!

The restaurant does have an air conditioned dining room, but I would far rather sit outside in the open air section and look out over the waterpark, or just pull up a bar stool at the railing and face the ocean, watching the clouds drift by.

Life in South Texas is GOOD...

Logistics
This park is mostly a summer thing: it opens in late April and closes for the season in late September. Hours vary by day of the week, so check their web site (www.schlitterbahn.com) for schedule. Weekends you're always in like flint, but weekdays can be touch and go.

Prices are $26.50 for adults and $22 for kids, plus tax (came to around $28 per person, total). There are also mid-day rates if you arrive in the afternoon. There are no hidden rip-off charges for "extra" rides and there are no charges for parking -- this is a true "square deal" kind of operation, and I won't grumble about the prices so much when I'm treated fairly.

The park is located on the south end of the island (oceanside). From the Queen Isabella bridge, keep right as you enter the island. Schlitterbahn is across from the marina, just before you enter Isla Blanca Park.

Lockers and changing room are available. Food services are available, or you are welcome to bring your own (but with all the great shrimp, I'd go ahead and splurge now, and save that picnic for another day).

Bottom Line
Yeah, the place is smaller than the original Schlitterbahn, and yeah, it's smaller than some of the other water parks in Texas, but what it lacks in size it makes up for in intelligent design, customer friendliness, short lines, and modern, exciting attractions. I like this park and I'm looking forward to being able to return in a few years when my daughter is a little bigger so that she can go on all the rides. If you find yourself in South Texas, check out Schlitterbahn -- I think you'll like it.

Until next time, see you on the road. As always, I'll be the value-conscious guy sniffing out the best bang for my travel buck.



Recommended: Yes