Thanks to thevoid99, who inspired me to destroy this album properly.

I can just imagine the genius conversation that sparked Chris Cornell's latest studio effort: "zOMG...WHAT IF I MIX HIP HOP WITH ROCK. THAT HAS NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE." Except it's been done by Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, P.O.D., Run DMC, Cypress Hill, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Blondie. Rap rock, rap metal, and hip-rock have all been attempted by a slew of artists, but Chris Cornell of Audioslave ended up releasing one of the worst exploits of the genre. Known for his power-house and grizzly delivery, Chris Cornell must have thought he could do no wrong when he teamed up Tim Mosley, aka Timbaland, aka the bane of my freaking existence. My problem with Timbaland and his band of hip-pop producers is that they have a talent for taking any artist on the face of this Earth and then making them all sound the same. This has been the process with some of my favorite acts like Duran Duran and Madonna; it's also been the process for some of my least favorites like Keri Hilson and Nelly Furtado. As much as I respect the sound he uses on his own releases (Shock Value), I'd appreciate if he kept it to himself and stop whoring it out. The clip-clopping of Justin Timberlake and Timbaland have become pop music standard, and let me tell you that it's getting very, very stale.

If I hear one more album that's a bad rip-off of FutureSex/LoveSounds, I'm going to...Scream.

The marriage of sound between Chris's moody rock style and Timbaland's glossy, late-millennium vibe is bitter and sour. The end result is a mish-mosh of poorly executed sound-bytes and electronic beeps that don't sync up well with Chris's gritty voice. But my reasons for originally checking this album out were good enough. After a friend of mine played one of the songs for me, I thought it was clever and catchy, raw, angry...all the things I'd want out of hip-rock. But when I got a copy for myself and sat down to listen, well, I was whole-heatedly disappointed. Aside from bouncy (and biiiiitchy) opening track Part of Me, this album isn't really worth the listen. Time is an exact rip-off of Duran Duran's Red Carpet Massacre, and Chris's vocals irritate me to the point of exhaustion mid-song.The sad part is that Timbaland, once again, outshines the main artist. Why does he do it? Because he can. How does he do it? He overproduces his work so badly to the point where it's solely own of his own songs. Timbaland's last studio record is a collection of duets and collaborations that range from his bitch Justin Timbalake to the Hives to Elton John-- I love this idea. But when he's producing 90% of music today, you can count all of 2003 - 2009 in his discography. I WANT TO HEAR CHRIS CORNELL-- WHY CAN'T I HEAR HIM? AND WHEN I DO, I JUST WANT TO KILL SOMEONE. Listening to him garble "Time time time time time time time time time" for a million years isn't what I want! Quality? Nope, not hear. At least not from Chris. Timbo did a kickin' job on his beats; but why the hell should I even care...

Sweet Revenge is embarrassing on all accounts: lyrically, musically, vocally...Chris is really just making me cringe with his delivery, which is way too extreme for the mellow background. When he says "Walk with me now" in the manner of his producer, I just laugh. Who does this guy he is? And what's with the random harmonizing from people who aren't Chris? By the time you get to Get Up, any trace of Chris's rock-style is pretty much squandered, replaced by more of Timbaland's hypnotic beats. I'll give Timbo one thing-- the production on this song is sick. It's not the catchiest song I've ever heard, but for dance music, it's not bad. We get into more disco sides on Ground Zero, which is obviously inspired by old-school hip hop from the 80s and the 70s soul sound. More awesome production. More horrible vocals that don't just make juxtaposition-- they make comedy. This is an album that I actually want to like, considering how there are moments of production genius coming through my speakers, but this isn't a Timbaland album. Chris is responsible for keeping my attention, but these songs lack hooks and melodies. These sound like poorly done mash-ups you find on YouTube.

Never Far Away is the millionth time I've heard Justin Timberlake's Cry Me a River-- oddly enough, I don't believe he had anything to do with it. This is one of the few moments where Chris slightly impresses me during the chorus, but the verses fall flat. I'd like to hear this song reinvented as the rock song it was destined to me. I feel like the two parties are fighting for attention, and Timbaland's losing his battle on this track. It's a little funny that Chris Cornell is so proud of this album. Take it from somebody who is a dance music connoisseur: this is absolute crap. Take Me Alive is psychedelic and features better production and vocals or melodies, and it's annoying rather than effective. If you've ever heard Timberlake's two solo discs, you'd be a little shocked to hear just how many similarities there are here and there. Long Gone is an duplicate of My Love with its stuttering beats and slower tempo. When I listen to this album, I'm hard-pressed to figure out who the target audience is. If it's pop music lovers, they'll be annoyed at Chris's grating vocals. If it's rock music lovers, they're just gonna want to rip your throat out. If you're trying to please a mainstream, you have to mainstream to begin with. Musically, the album is muted by Timbaland, and what could have been a scortching guitar at the beginning of Enemy just sounds robotic and proccessed. In fact, the whole album sounds robotic and proccessed. So, when it comes down to how I feel about Scream, I guess Chris himself said it best: "I said no, that bitch ain't a part of me..."

VERDICT
Do you like annoying pop music sung by a whiskey-gargled voice? Do you like your music to lack hooks, melodies, and cool lyrics? Do you like to shove freshly sharpened pencils deep into your ear cavity? It might be easier just to blast Chris Cornell's Scream through your headphones.

01. Part of Me [4 Stars]
02. Time [2 Stars]
03. Sweet Revenge [0 Stars]
04. Get Up [3 Stars]
05. Ground Zero [1 Star]
06. Never Far Away[2 Stars]
07. Take Me Alive [1 Star]
08. Long Gone [0 Stars]
09. Scream [0 Stars]
10. Enemy [0 Stars]
11. Other Side of Town [1 Star]
12. Climbing Up the Walls [2 Stars]
13. Watch Out [0 Star]

Best: Part of Me
Worst: Sweet Revenge and Enemy

SCORE: 1 SKULL (1.2- )

Recommended: No