the KITCHEN is for SEX
Written: Dec 27 '00
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Product Rating:
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Pros: ultra comfort
Cons: none
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| SMITHSWOODSIDE's Full Review: Sealy Posturepedic Mattress |
Sex should never be performed in the bedroom. Rather this is a kitchen activity .
Sealy Posturpedic Mattress
The word bed is an abbreviation of the full word as used by a little known tribe in South Central Africa. The correct name is bidituktuktuk, which translated to latin is placewarmeusarsus.
Sex should never be performed in the bedroom. Rather this is a kitchen activity where the full extent of the ideal body language can be employed. The male sets up two glasses of water on the sink, respirator, teeth and any required medication. A kitchen chair is placed strategically in reach of these items. Then the male removes all his clothing and straps on knee pads since the kitchen floor is hard.
He then presents himself to the female, who takes the subtle hint, and she is gently led to the kitchen - do I need to go on?
Apart from this being infinitely more erotic, it saves the bed from wear and tear.
Another good idea is to turn the mattress periodically. Common sense and honesty are required here. If one or both resemble the Goodyear Blimp the mattress should obviously be turned more often using Einstein's e=mc2 to find the optimum rate of turn.
Our last mattress was a Sealy and we were very pleased with it. But, playmates, have they come a long way. All I know is its a lot more comfortable which they say is due to the relatively new "Posture Tech HP Coils". No, thats not a birth control device, but something to do with keeping the mattress comfortable for longer.
They come in three grades of firmness, and spousy said she liked it the firmest so thats what we got - its been worrying me ever since; was she trying to tell me something?
There are Edge Guards around the perimeter of the mattress and they provide more sleeping area. Despite that the whole thing is so stable we could sit comfortably on the edge of the bed, but that would mean talking so its best avoided.
Our first mattress lasted a very long time, despite the lack of a no sex rule, and I am very confident this one will too.
You know, Mr. Sealy is so confident about his product you will usually see it as one in a row of the competition for you to try - of course, they put bricks in the others and sewerage in the water beds...........hey Mr. Sealy, I was only joking.....not the face aaaahhhh. (shhh its called marketing ssshhhh). Of course they don't but its a pretty strong recommendation when someone is willing to do that.
And one last thing - you know unless someone writes for Epinions they spend a third of their lives in bed - and thats just asleep!! Just think how much money we all spend during our waking hours, and multiply that by a lifetime.
Now surely a place that consumes fully one third of our lives is worthy of a reasonable investment, and by that measure it would be tens of thousands of dollars, not just the lousy grand or so to keep old man Sealy rolling in it.
Common folks, don't take my word for it but go try a Sealy out for size -
it'll bring a tear to your eyes - true.
(ya happy now sealy - you, you, you millionaire you)
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
SMITHSWOODSIDE
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 - Top 500 |
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Member: Peter Smith
Location: South Australia
Reviews written: 521
Trusted by: 400 members
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