Spilling Secrets
Written: Jun 12 '01 (Updated Jun 12 '01)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Laake has a concise style, and her story is interesting and excruciatingly honest.
Cons: It's more about an unstable individual than it is about Mormonism's alleged secrets.
The Bottom Line: Secret Ceremonies is a woman's account of the Mormon church's expectations and how she could not handle them. It's a readable memoir, not an in depth look at Mormonism.
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| bupkiss's Full Review: Secret Ceremonies - A Mormon Woman's Intimate Diar... |
After finding a paperback copy of Secret Ceremonies in a used bookstore, I couldn't wait to delve into it. Ceremonies is Deborah Laake's bizarre memoir of her evolution from a devout Mormon to a disenfranchised divorcee verging on a mental breakdown, and I was interested in learning more about the untold aspects of Mormonism, especially from an ex-Mormon. Unfortunately, Laake, a solid writer with a frank journalistic style, seems to use her story to spill Mormon secrets that I don't find necessarily shocking or relevant. From her perspective, Laake had been slighted by the Mormon church in several major ways, but the emotional impact of her religious involvement shouldn't have compelled a rational person to condemn publically and commercially what had once been her lifeblood.
But Laake isn't rational. For a book with a main selling point of exposing Mormonism's sacred rituals, Ceremonies is a rather strange and lurid account. The bulk of the book isn't even about Mormon doctrine or temple rituals. Sure, there's a detailed description of the Mormon temple wedding ceremony and other "secrets" (such as garments, the full body underwear that must be worn at all times after marriage), but the book is really all about Laake and her obsession with control, relationships, sex, and even masturbation (there are lengthy segments of the book discussing masturbation). Personally, I find Laake's candor intriguing, if not a bit unexpected.
Many critics simply write off Ceremonies as a cathartic yet vindictive sob story, and the book is also discredited by some due to its negative portrayal of Mormonism. I don't see these issues as huge weaknesses of the book. Yes, Laake speaks of encounters with certain Mormon officials in a negative way, but why can't she air her anger with the lack of communication and respect she found glaringly obvious in the church? In fact, Laake seems to think highly of her days as an innocent and unwitting Mormon girl, one who couldn't sit still long enough to take religion classes seriously but truly did have what she thought to be a strong relationship with God.
Where Ceremonies turns disappointing and disheartening is when Laake loses the anchor and joy and headiness that her religion once allowed her--before finding out firsthand the virtually non-existent rights of a divorced Mormon female, Laake saw nothing really wrong with her religion. Her bitterness and confused state after hastily marrying and hastily divorcing is the beginning of her downward spiral. Laake effectively describes her mistreatment by Mormon clergy, but her fatal flaw is straying from Mormonism after fighting to regain her temple recommend. (Laake's permission to enter Mormon temples was taken away due to her divorce.) She's a displaced person exiled from her spiritual home. I found Laake's description of Mormon post-divorce counseling most interesting. The blame for her failed marriage is placed almost wholly upon Laake's shoulders, and divorce seems to be a huge offense in the Mormon world. I do pity Laake for being branded with the contemporary Mormon equivalent to a scarlet letter.
Furthermore, Laake's decision to pen Ceremonies is puzzling. She is purposely betraying the church through telling of its clandestine ceremonies, yet as I stated before, the main focus of Ceremonies truly isn't the church. The main focuses are Laake's uncertainties and psychoses, things that may or may not stem from a religious upbringing and a rigid social structure.
In Ceremonies, Laake tends to revel in her supposed victimhood. She also displaces much of her anger, attempting suicide and winding up in a rehabilitation center. Even so, there is seemingly genuine raw emotion in her words about her lonely life. Laake relies too heavily on others, expecting them to take care of her, and when her religion, her family, and herself fail, she can't handle reality.
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After reading Secret Ceremonies, I decided to do a bit of research on Deborah Laake, hoping to find more of her work, mainly her endeavors in journalism. Laake was excommunicated from the church for apostasy after the publication of Ceremonies in 1993. In 1994, Laake was diagnosed with breast cancer. And to my complete surprise, I found that Laake committed suicide in February 2000. I felt saddened: Ceremonies is a cry for help.
Recommended:
Yes
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bupkiss
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Location: Richmond, Virginia, USA
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