A Weird and Uncomfortable Experience . . .
Written: Feb 28 '06 (Updated May 05 '06)
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Pros: Doesn't Leak; Cheap Enough
Cons: Read the story for it all...
The Bottom Line: Run for cover!
Read the review for a better idea...
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| your_name_here's Full Review: Simmons Beautyrest Express Bed |
After finally giving up on our tired, old queen mattress, I dug up this air mattress from Simmons which looked pretty OK. It seemed acceptable in terms of both comfort and durability on epinions.com; and was referred to as a "pillow top inflatable". Reasoning promised that it couldn’t be worse than getting up from the "black hole of Phoenix" every day; with all of the attendant aches and pains which make most mornings an obscenity.
All things considered, (and with a list in hand) my wife and I headed over to our local branch of the Wal-Mart entity for a peek at their stock offerings. We found it! We grabbed one along with a really good quilted mattress cover for the evening's rest :o)
After taking it out of its wrapper and having inflated it to full size, we noticed that the mattress seemed to take on a slightly warped "potato chip" shape. I thought that it'd be good enough: I'd just sleep on that side myself. We also found that the "pillow top" feature comprised a large inflatable welting which encompassed the periphery of the sleeping surface on all four edges. I was a little bit concerned about this; but I figured that we could simply flip the surface over before bedtime if it was too much to bear.
Tried it out for a bit. Seemed OK. Went to sleep on it in a haze of vinyl fumes and exhaustion.
I woke up about four hours later. I was woozy from the fumes; and seasick from the uneasy wiggling which had occurred during the preceding segment's inevitable thrashing. My neck had been torqued sideways from the "pillow top" debacle; and my knees and ankles smarted from trying to accommodate the welt at the foot of the "bed". After another half hour's attempts to put it all back together again sleepwise, I freaked out and sat up on my side of the bed whimpering aloud. It was not nice.
A few moments later, my wife and I were flipping the rubber fetish thingy over for an attempt at rest in a fresh cloud of phthalate fumes. The backside, while devoid of the "quilting" feature around the edges, was far from flat; and had a unique "tuck and roll" surfacing which proved to be very exciting for the next few minutes.
After having gone out into the living room, I managed to drag our old sleeping surface onto the floor; and we made this our place of repose for the balance of the night's rest. Believe it or not, we were actually grateful when we awoke some hours later with the usual aches and pains...
Next morning we were on a mission. Sleep is not optional, no matter what your situation.
Took the fetish item back to Wal-Mart. We hit the mall.
Several hours worth of shopping set us up with a list of possibilities. All of them would cash out the balance of our life’s worth, however: Comfortable sleep, but no food. Maybe we could hide in one of the stores and sleep there after everyone else had gone home? No good. Went back home and paid homage to the Google monolith, hoping for something better than another air mattress (waterbeds were out, too, due to our apartment complex's regs). Nothing still, and delirium was starting to set in due to lack of sleep.
Discouraged but not yet defeated (read: dead); we dragged ourselves back to Wal-Mart for another look. Went back to the bedding department. We looked awhile, and grabbed the best inflatable doohicky which we could find (another Simmons with a REAL foam pad on top -- Oooooooh); and a super-de-duper foam mattress pad to go over it all (see the items list below for details). On the way up to the register, we picked up a thin polyethylene painters' tarp (no fumes) to go over the fully deployed vinyl giant as a vapor barrier.
And giant it was. At 17" thick, we needed to use a stepstool on either side of our bed to get up onto it all. I couldn't help but think of that silly Peter Gabriel ditty about the "big" life, "...I had it made like a mountain range, with a snow-white pillow for my big fat head..." But I digress...
The first night seemed OK -- no fumes; soft, FLAT top -- asleep in a short time. Four hours later, I was again found whimpering on the side of the bed, begging anyone who would hear me for mercy and sleep. This time, I was falling into a butt rut in the middle of the bed; and my back was absolutely KILLING me for the abuse of two nights' tortures. I was genuinely slipping.
Then, I remembered that if I slept head-to-toe on the old mattress, I would sometimes escape (for a while) from the ubiquitous black hole in our old mattress which devoured all living tissue in its proximity. This maneuver worked; and I was finally able to move our collective weight around on the bed surface advantageously enough to sleep on a fairly supportive region until dawn.
Next day, we threw caution (and the instruction's warnings) to the wind, and inflated the mattress to its full rated capacity. All was finally well :o) This now seems to be the most comfortable bed either one of us have ever slept on...
Took the old butt mattress over to Goodwill today. It felt SO GOOD to ditch that menace forever!
Here’s a list of SKU numbers which were stocked in the Phoenix vicinity Wal-Marts on 2.21.2006:
Simmons Sensair Bed: .... 612650120382 ... $99.96
Quilted Mattress Top: ... 079633268491 ... $44.97
Five Zone Mattress Pad: . 079633549736 ... $27.77
9 X 12 Poly Tarp: ....... 073257002042 .... $2.88
This seems to be the "magic combo" which provides meaningful comfort without the typical drawbacks associated with this type of bed. We are planning on using this set as our primary sleeping surface until we can afford a couple thousand dollars’ worth of the conventional stuff.
Good hunting to all, and to all a good night!
N.B.: We found that it was unnecessary to resecure the screw cap on the "padded top" bladder for our Sensair bed -- leaving it open to "breathe" is just fine :o)
5.5.2006 UPDATE --
The Simmons "Five Zone Mattress Pad" (SKU #079633549736) has utterly failed. It has worn to the point of being paper-thin at all pressure regions for both the wife and myself.
See my full review at:
http://www.epinions.com/content_229795925636
for more details.
No replacement suggestions as of yet; but Wal-Mart will definitely be receiving this one back today...
In other news, the air mattress is still going strong :o) It has, however, stretched out WELL beyond the capabilities of our fitted (bottom) sheet. This is OK, however; as the mattress pad set formed by an assembled combination of the "Quilted Mattress Top" and the foam topper provides a secure and comfortable fitment for the elastic-bordered bottom sheet. Further, the friction produced by the action of the backside of the foam topper against the lightly fleeced upper surface of the air mattress holds the entire pad, sheet and all, completely fast. No wiggling.
We still tuck the top sheet and blanket in at the foot, as usual.
N.B. -- We ditched the "9 X 12 Poly Tarp" after a few weeks: No more bad smell from the mattress vinyl...
Recommended:
No
Mattress Size: Queen
Mattress Firmness: Somewhat firm
Amount Paid (US$): 80
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your_name_here
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Reviews written: 2
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