Well, it's that time of year again. Time for us music freaks to partake in the "I'll Show You Mine If You Show Me Yours", write-off, a twisted scheme devised by MattA75 in order that we might broaden our horizons. Or perhaps just have more music to make fun of each other for liking. Either way, you gotta admit that having two people pick albums for each other to review that they might have never given a listen on their own could make for some pretty entertaining reading.

My partner for this, my second year of participation in ISYMIYSMY, is Aerocat, the purveyor of rambunctious and sexy rock & roll, who deserves a big noogie for depriving us of her presence earlier this year (but that's OK, we've forgiven you for the temporary insanity). I decided to spring one of my more recent discoveries upon her - a slow, brooding slice of spiritual art-pop by Over the Rhine (go read her take on it, it's good stuff!) In return, she decided to stick me with the task of reviewing Spend the Night by The Donnas, which she referred to as "trashy" and "raucous". Not something I'd normally go for, but hey, unpredictability is the name of the game here. So I fired up KaZaa, downloaded the thing, and listened, and well, here are my thoughts.

The Donnas are somewhat special in the world of rock music because the band is all female. While I realize this has been done before (the merciless metal band Kittie and the short-lived Christian band Rachel Rachel come to mind), there's no denying that something different is generally expected of a rock band when it has a female lead singer, and especially when the entire outfit is devoid of any Y-chromosomes. Our preconceived notions tell us to expect more emotion, more ballads, and less aggression. Well, you can kiss all of those ideas bye-bye, because The Donnas are all about old-school, punk flavored rock & roll, and their philosophy regarding the pace of their albums is pretty much "You can rest when you're dead". This is party music - no, scratch that, this is get drunk and raise hell music. Four women named Donna (at least on stage), and there isn't a Prima to be found. So if you're looking for innovative and unpredictable modern rock, you'd best look elsewhere, because these ladies are about to hit us over the head with 13 iterations of what is essentially the same song.

Now, it should be more than obvious that I didn't go into this album expecting to find anything terribly meaningful. A wise woman once reminded us that sometimes "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", and I'm cool with that. But obviously this goody-two-shoes Sunday school boy was gonna have some problems with The Donnas' trailer-trash approach to having fun, which pretty much always involves drinking lots of beer, checking out the guys, finding one to use and then discard, and drinking more beer if none of them happen to look hot enough at the moment. It shouldn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that the band isn't about to cater to my moral standards, and I'm not gonna waste a lot of space harping about that. I'm sure you could find a number of conservative critiques of many similarly-minded rock bands elsewhere on the Internet. You wanna know what really ticks me off about The Donnas? (Well, besides the fact that they play the same song 13 times, which is a bit of an exaggeration anyway, and besides, I can admire that sort of musical rebellion from time to time.) What really ticks me off is the inherent double standard behind their seemingly harmless party philosophy.

You'll recognize this complaint if you read my review of the Dixie Chicks for this very same write-off two years ago. It's the notion that it's perfectly acceptable for women to do the very same things that they criticize men for. That's basically the subtext of Spend the Night, as these ladies prowl for one-night-stand after one-night-stand, stopping in between to criticize the men who don't quite live up to their standards, and the women who are in actual relationship with the men they're trying to bag. It honestly makes me laugh when allmusic.com refers to Spend the Night as an album that "marked the Donnas' sassy rock maturation". Perhaps the music may have matured from their humble high school beginnings (I honestly couldn't tell you for sure), and sure, it proves once again that women can rock too (something I never doubted), but emotionally mature this ain't. It seems that in setting out to prove that they can do everything men can do, these ladies have forgotten that there are quite a few things that men should never have done in the first place. Women who hope to rise above the immaturity they've seen in male sexist pigs can't exactly accomplish that by turning into sexist sows, after all.

But here I go on my whole gender equality tirade again. Sigh. Perhaps I'm taking things way too seriously. All I know is that my sensibilities about treating the opposite sex as you'd like them to treat you, combined with a general distaste for most of the subject matter here, really hurt my ability to enjoy a band whose music would otherwise be a lot of fun to listen to. Nevertheless, there are still a few decent songs that almost rise above the shallowness. So not all is lost.

It's on the Rocks
The record starts with a promising enough rock-fest, and lead singer Donna A.'s sneer is enjoyably defiant when it first shows up. The song basically sets the girls up for a fun night on the town, as Donna A. explains to her current boyfriend why he's too controlling and basically no fun to hang around. "Calling all my ladies," she quips, "We're gonna key your Mercedes." That's one of many amusing rhymes to be found on this record, and while I'm not into grand theft auto, I can respect the notion that sometimes the ladies just need a girls' night out.

Take It Off
The second track is another strong rocker (they pretty much all are, but the elements of the different songs tend to stand out more in the beginning), with its lyrics pretty much wasted on getting drunk and being horny. The other girls provide capable background vocals as Donna A. invites a guy to give her a personal striptease. The song crosses the line from merely annoying to somewhat troubling when she tells the guy "Just do it, you don't have to ask." Isn't that just perpetuating the classic male myth that the girl always means "yes" even when she hasn't explicitly said so? Not a smart move.

Who Invited You
Now this is more like it! Donna R. cranks things up with a really fun lead guitar lick, and the girls basically have a blast telling off an unwelcome party-crasher on this one. You see, someone is cramping the girls' style by coming to each and every party they throw just to criticize it. Whether your idea of a great party involves lots of beer and loud music, or just a bunch of friends and a few board games, it's always a drag to have someone show up unannounced and tell you how boring you are. And The Donnas' reaction to this is, "We don't care if you think our party's cool, 'cause we do. We don't care if you had more fun in Sunday school, 'cause who invited you?" It's one of the album's catchiest tracks, and it always makes me chuckle, because it reminds me of a co-worker who always retorts "Who invited you?" whenever I crack a stupid joke around her.

All Messed Up
This track picks up immediately where the last one left off - hey, if you're gonna play all of your songs with the same 4/4 beat and similar tempos, you might as well come up with some cool transitions between them! Donna C. manages to please my ears on this one by banging around on a cowbell (just to give the song that extra dose of "hick"), and Donna R.'s rhythm guitar is pretty strong here as well. The song's basically about a guy that Donna A. is falling for even though she knows she shouldn't like him. Her opening couplet is classic - "I must have had too many Diet Cokes, 'cause I'm laughing at all your stupid jokes". Hey, who needs alcohol when you can get wasted on caffeine and remember it all the next day? (I'm really starting to think that I must've crashed a few of The Donnas' parties at some point.) There's a fun guitar solo in the middle of this one, and I find it moderately enjoyable even though it's about selling out and settling for less because you're unable to think straight.

Dirty Denim
This is the point where the songs begin to sound frustratingly identical to one another. It doesn't help that the subject matter is pretty much the same as the last song - instead of a nerdy comedian, though, Donna A. has turned her sharp tongue on a guy who is apparently butt-ugly and hasn't had a shower in a few weeks. The girls definitely threw some of their most amusing rhymes into this song, especially the line about the guy being "moody" because he's not getting enough "booty". (Yeah, look who's talking.) There's also another solid guitar solo, but then the song is dragged down by a few girly, 80's-flashback type shouts in the middle of the song.

You Wanna Get Me High
The last in a trio of guys who gets sent packing is a shady sort of fellow who uses drugs to get his way with women. Fair enough, those types deserve to be rejected mercilessly. I'm just a bit confused about the present vs. past tense in this song, because in one verse Donna A. is sure of his intentions and wants nothing to do with him, then in the next verse, she's high and he's not, so he obviously succeeded at least once. Perhaps she's disgusted that he has the audacity to hit on her again after she's already fallen for it once. Either way, she really should learn to "just say no". But it's possible that he might have drugged her unknowingly; in any case, it's definitely one of the more unsavory songs on the album.

I Don't Care (So There)
A quick slide across the piano keys starts this song off (too bad the piano doesn't show up anywhere else in the song, or on the album). This one's got a slightly meaner tone to it, which is fitting, because this time the guy in question really, really deserves a piece of Donna's mind. It's basically sour grapes about a guy who committed the cardinal sin of not liking her back, and she spits out bitter lines like, "It's not like he's a knockout". Is that right? She apparently didn't notice that before she slept with him. But then, maybe she was just too busy getting wasted and trying to name states that rhyme with "Hennessey."

Pass It Around
This is another party-crasher song; it's a lot less charming than "Who Invited You", because it's basically about freeloaders who show up to their parties and drink all of their booze. This song might have been the one time I had to go scrambling for the lyrics, because it just didn't sound right to me when she called one of the guys "a little Bogart". I had thought she had said "a little booger", which would have fit better with the overall mentality of the album. I have no clue what she's got against Humphrey Bogart. Anywho, what little interest I have in the song is pretty much killed when more "Mickey"-esque cheerleader shouts show up as the girls urge the guy to "Pass that glass! Pass it around!!!"

Too Bad About Your Girl
At long last, the album's sound changes up just a tad, as Donna R. decides to go for a scratchy palm-muting approach during the quieter verses, which make for an interesting effect when coupled with hand claps. Of course, the band's usual sound comes blasting back in for the chorus, but the change was fun while it lasted. This song's basically about a guy who, like all of the best parking spaces in the world, is already taken. According to Donna A., he doesn't look like he's having much fun with his current girlfriend, and of course that gives her license to move in for the steal. Now come on, who would want a guy who would leave his current partner at the drop of a hat to mess around with a stranger, and then likely drop her for the next interesting stranger? Oh yeah, The Donnas would. Silly me. (By the way, this song totally blows my "hick" theory by talking about sending the other girl home on BART and "doing time in Anaheim". I'm not comfortable with the fact that these chicks are running rampant in my home state!)

Not the One
Now here's a sensitive little breakup song - for a brief second, The Donnas almost sound apologetic. Breaking up is always hard to do, especially when you've put almost an entire week's worth of effort into the relationship, and now you're faced with the difficult struggle of telling a guy that he seemed like a good idea at the time. Sniff - it makes me all teary-eyed. But don't worry, The Donnas haven't gone soft - they've sped the song up a tiny bit just to remind us that they've still got a lot of aggression and angst to get out of their system or something. I can see why they're so upset. Finding "the one" is tough, especially when you have such low standards.

Please Don't Tease
This song's got a little more of a classic rock guitar intro - once again, I'm reaching for any slight variance of style just to avoid focusing on the monotony of it all. Once again, we have a song whose subject matter should be readily apparent from its title, and it doesn't pretend to be much other than a recast of "Take It Off". Perhaps the guy's being a little less cooperative here - don't you hate it when they want to actually get to know you and all that jazz before they're willing to put out? And you gotta love this line "You shouldn't look so good if you don't want to be misunderstood." Sounds like a typical male argument to me.

Take Me to the Backseat
Groan... do I even have to dignify this song with a response? It's about as blatant and un-clever as they come - let's just get past all of that romantic crap and skip straight to the trashy sex. Hell, we don't even need to get a room! Thankfully it's the shortest song on the album, and since I don't have much else to say about it, how about I fill the space with one of my favorite redneck jokes:

Q: Why do redneck schools only offer Drivers' Ed on Tuesdays and Thursdays?
A: Because they need the cars for Sex Ed on the other days.

5 O'Clock in the Morning
At long last, the album's thirteenth track has arrived to take The Donnas home in style! Ummm... don't count on it, it's basically just an homage to The Donnas' version of heaven - a party that lasts until the sun comes up. What high aspirations they have! It's got a decent backbeat, and since it runs past the four minute mark, it's the closest thing to an "epic" that you'll hear from these ladies any time soon. The lyrics are actually quite disjointed, which makes me wonder if The Donnas were actually smashed when they wrote the song. But you gotta love the line "Just wait 'til you see what we did with the chandelier." Houses trashed while-u-wait, that's the hallmark of a great party!

Okay, so at this point, I probably owe Aerocat a massive apology for reading way too much into lyrics that aren't meant to be analyzed, and for expecting any measure of intelligence out of what's supposed to be a mindless party album. (Hey, I did mention that some of the lyrics were clever.) I wouldn't expect The Donnas to be deadly serious, nor do I think that anyone in their target audience would be stupid enough to think that it's OK to do anything mentioned in their songs just because The Donnas said so. And I guess fair treatment of the opposite sex doesn't translate as easily into rebellious, screw-you-if-you-don't-like-it punk rock. But I think you can sing about how a guy is hot and you'd like to get into his pants while sparing us the details of how you plan to ditch him the next day. (Seriously, I have no inherent problems with songs about sex.) You can make music for the fun-living ladies out there without degrading the guys. It is possible. And until they can at least do that much, I won't be able to bring myself to recommend any of The Donnas' albums.

Nevertheless, I want to think Aerocat for being patient with the curveball I threw her, and for giving me an interesting and challenging writing exercise. Still friends?

ALBUM WORTH:
It's on the Rocks $.50
Take It Off $0
Who Invited You $1.50
All Messed Up $.50
Dirty Denim $.50
You Wanna Get Me High -$1
I Don't Care (So There) $.50
Pass It Around -$.50
Too Bad About Your Girl $.50
Not the One $0
Please Don't Tease $0
Take Me to the Backseat -$1
5 O'Clock in the Morning $0
TOTAL: $1.50

Band Members:
Donna A.: Lead vocals
Donna R.: Guitars
Donna F.: Bass
Donna C.: Drums

This year's odd couples are:
drfaustus and jay1051971
aerocat and divad23
paulyoungotti and matta75
kcfoxy and guildenstern
jennjoy and shilmafone
jdhodges2 and cartman_2k
tigger500 and kristinafh
thevoid99 and pacmany2j
foxy_shy and lambchops
deadmilkboy and stairway2drew
cletta1201 and pearl-drum-man

Recommended: No