i am the monkey's smirking off-topic review
Written: Jun 10 '01
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Product Rating:
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Pros: i am the monkey's smirking off-topic review
Cons: ...the "Your Skin Type" box doesn't have an option for "Hairy"
The Bottom Line: YOU are obviously a better candidate than i to determine what is on-topic and what is off-topic. i tell you this is off-topic because that's what Nirav told me.
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| repulsemonkey's Full Review: St. Ives Collagen Elastin Essential Moisturizer |
i welcome your Not Helpfuls, your Mafioso tactics designed to keep me and whoever else YOU decide isn’t using this site—this holy ground you call Epinions—the way YOU happen to think it’s meant to be used. Obviously YOU know best—better than me. Hell, i bet YOU can quote Nirav better than he can quote himself. And why not? Around here, his word is sacred, handed down to us—the mindless masses—that we might know exactly we should treat this holy ground Epinions, so that we followers don’t have to decide for ourselves. Because the truth is that i want to be told how to think. i need to be told how to think. Who better to tell me how to think than YOU, apostle of Nirav, preacher of the TOS gospel—who better?
Look, i’ll even do most of the work for you: This is abuse. Big time. Yeah, i’m breaking all kinds of commandments of your TOS, and i’m a holy advisor—an apostle of Nirav myself. You know what? i’m still abusing your blessed Epinions. i should know better. i should behave myself. i should spend my time converting other, lesser writers to the correct of thinking, the advisor way of thinking, the Nirav way of thinking, that they might some day curse their prior wretchedness and praise Nirav as the savior of the holy ground Epinions.
You know what else?
Fuck
Fuckity Fuck FuckFuckFuck
That’s right, i’m not just sticking to one form of abuse, but unleashing a full-barreled abuse assault. i’m sure YOU have never done anything like it. i’m sure that this will immediately negate all the extensive work i’ve done in the past ten months toward making the holy ground Epinions an Even Better Resource for consumer decision-making (By the way, i spend a minimum of two hours work on each article i publish at the holy ground Epinions, including this one. How much time and effort do YOU spend? Or do YOU spend more time stamping your name on other reviews in the hopes that someone might visit your profile page and toss a couple of pennies your way? Just curious.)
So bring your Not Helpfuls. i gleefully welcome them. Add me to your Web of Distrust, if you must. After all, i am a sacrilegious heathen now that i’ve published a single off topic review and abused with reckless abandon. Now, i can obviously benefit the holy ground Epinions no longer. i am irredeemable. Banish me.
But consider this: By placing me on your Web of Distrust, you make a decision which will directly effect another productive member of your holy Epinions society based solely and entirely on your interpretation of the word of Nirav. In doing so, you are imposing your own Epinions-based morality not only on myself, but upon an entire community—made up of writers each possessing their own beliefs concerning the definition of "Epinions," each possessing their own interpretations of the word of Nirav, each with their own Epinions rituals and their own set of Epinions standards. If you’re going to imply that your Epinions beliefs are "right" and mine are "wrong," you’d better make damn sure that you’re making a thoughtful decision, because holding others strictly to your own set of personal standards—Nirav-based or no—doesn’t always result in justice. Sometimes, it results in persecution.
Recommended:
No
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Epinions.com ID:
repulsemonkey
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 - Top 1000 |
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Member: Ambassador of Epinions Love (and sometimes BBQ)
Location: Oops Upside Your Head
Reviews written: 29
Trusted by: 191 members
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